After roses peonies are my favourite. I just love the colour of these ones too- just a hint of pink.
I've been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster recently. Lots of things are happening and I finally realized that God is teaching me things about my feelings and emotions.
There are times in life, at least in mine, where God says, 'this is a problem and it's stopping now'. He tightens the screws and reveals an area that needs go. A preacher said it like this: the Word is a two edged sword, it will break you or (if you let it) it will make the necessary clean, clear, and surgical cut that will heal and make you better.
All the things that God has put in my path have tested, tried, and proved me. By proved I mean shown me what is the heart of the matter. This is a hard surgery but I know it's a necessary one.
One thing that makes me happy is my garden. I ate a strawberry from it yesterday, my beans are growing, I already harvested some of my oregano, and I'm growing my favourite vegetable (brussel sprouts!).
I was walking through the yard a few weeks ago and I realized that I am living a dream. Not my ultimate dream (that may or may not include riding a horse every morning and a room full of yarn) but a dream.
My dream that I am living is this: we have a backyard, my son can play in it all day, I have a full garden with lots of roses, five peony plants, and plenty of other delightful things coming in. I've always wanted to have fresh flowers around my home and now I get to. My husband is doing work that makes him happy, I have a wonderful Bible class that edifies me, my family lives close, and my son likes spicy food.
This all may sound mediocre and uninteresting but I've found by experience that gratitude gives you strength.
We don't own our home and may possibly have to move in 3 months but we wouldn't have it any other way. I'm just grateful I got to see my peonies bloom, my roses will be next, maybe I'll eat a plum, an apricot, or a pear off one of our trees. I can't waste my time worrying. If we do have to leave our home in the near future I don't want to regret being ungrateful and wasting time wallowing in unedifying emotions.
So while God is teaching me hard things right now I can't fight against it and allow it to make me miserable. It's just waste of time. I have to approach it with gratitude. Grateful that this needs to go so that I am better off, happier, and a blessing to others in the future. Grateful that God knows the time is now- I'm ready for it.
I've learned this too: you are the most grateful when you truly realize that God is in control. He knows where you are, what happened, why it happened, and what He will make out of it. Looking at something from the perspective that God allowed it will help you learn from things you may think are insignificant.
I'm glad God is teaching me. I'm glad I've learned not to control everything around me. I'm glad I can just let be and be thankful for the things that are.
I wasn't actually planning on writing any tonight (you can probably tell) but I hope it makes sense and that its a blessing.
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