Nachos

There was a joke I heard in highschool:
What kind of cheese is not yours?
Nacho cheese!
Get it? Na-cho cheese?

So I've sat down at this computer to write posts over the last few weeks- I have the drafts to prove it- but I've been unable to publish anything and unable to really write freely as I have in the past.
Part of it is what I mentioned last time- the person I can't help but want to attack every time I write- which is a good indication I'm more in the flesh than in the spirit. The other part of it is wondering about what I am writing about on this blog. In other words- WHO am I writing about?

The obvious and immediate answer is that I write about myself- because I do. I started this blog and built it on the idea that I'd write about how God was working in my life- the things He teaches me and the way He brings me along and helps me grow. This purpose of this blog is to give God the glory in my life. Lately I've been wondering whether or not this blog is too much about me or rather, what is my motivation behind each post.

I started thinking about this months ago when I happened to come across a spat on Youtube between two bible teachers. One of them, I guess, has made hundreds of videos debunking the other. In the short clip I watched the one who has the videos made against him stand up in his church, behind the pulpit and say that the guy making the videos against him 'deserves a pulpit mention'- something about having 'worked' for it with all the videos he's made.
I was immediately struck by the fact that that pulpit that man is standing behind is not his pulpit.
It's God's.
Did God call this man to preach the Word or talk about Youtubers?

A month ago I was finishing up my son's bath after a long day and I just wanted him to go to bed. I thought maybe I'd skip brushing his teeth for that night. What difference would it make? Then it occurred to me that I am not brushing his teeth for me, I'm brushing them for him. They're his teeth! How terrible would it be for him to have bad teeth when he grows up all because his mom 'was too tired'. It's not up to me to choose not to brush his teeth- they're not my teeth, I'm taking care of them for him, and don't I want him to have good, healthy teeth?

Then I started thinking about the way I look at things in general. I usually look at things with the perspective of 'how can I learn from that?' or 'what can I learn from that person?' I don't think that's a bad thing but it may bring the focus on me a little too much.

These things- and others- has made me really realize that the voice the Lord gives you- whether you are a preacher, a teacher, blogger, someone who posts stuff on Facebook, or just a solid christian who witnesses everyday- is not yours. We are not given these things for ourselves even though they teach us, edify us, and bring us closer to God. We are given these things for others- for the things we can't see and can't know, for the unseen and unknown people brought along by God.
Recently I've been thinking about the ways God takes care of us and the impossible situations He brings us through by means we can't even comprehend. I realized that God doesn't just take care of you for that time, for that problem, for that situation, He takes care of you for the future. How many times have you wondered why something turned out this way or why that happened and you go anywhere from a day to a year down the road to see how God used that to protect and provide for you when the situation was more dire and you were more needful?
Think about all the people in the bible that Jesus healed- the woman with the issue of blood, the blind man at the pool, the lame man let down through the house, the devil possessed of the Gadarenes. I would bet you anything that those problems they dealt with- the issue of blood, blindness, lameness, etc- were not the only things Jesus healed. I bet any little problem, any little thing that bothered them besides those big things were taken away. I think that's what John meant at the end of his gospel:

And there are also many other things

which Jesus did, the which, if they should be

written every one, I suppose that even the

world itself could not contain the books that

should be written. Amen.

John 21:25

Can you imagine just being around Jesus and feeling better? All those little aches and things we deal with just gone from being a little closer to him? Not only that, the mind change, the heart change from hearing God's Words from God Himself. 

This isn't doctrine or anything and I can't prove this from the bible. Just my relationship with Jesus and my relationship with the bible leads me to believe these things.

I say all that to say that there are things we can't see and we can't know. My Sunday school teachers growing up still have an effect on me today, my preachers growing up still have an effect on me today, there are many small things done and said I can still remember and shape who I am and how I think.
So when we speak in a place God is using us- we can't use our own words. We can't take what is rightly His and use it for our own agenda. That's the quickest way to stunt someone's spiritual growth, harm someone's faith, or prevent someone from coming to know the Lord as Saviour.
The more we insert ourselves, our agendas, our motives, our message, the less room God has to work- even if we are using His words. God doesn't share His throne with anyone.

God Leads Us Along

One of the things I am most grateful for is the Lord's leadership.
As easily as I can say that all those that have led me have failed me in some way or another, I can say that I have failed those I have led countless times. The Lord's leadership has never failed me, His influence has never failed me, His guidance has never failed me.
Sometimes it's really simple, as in, 'eat something and you're mind will be clearer' or 'sleep on it'. And those things do make a difference- it's not always run to the Bible because often our motive for running to the bible is to prove ourselves right.
Sometimes it's more complicated and I find myself in an uncomfortable situation for the sole purpose of revealing something in me that has to go. Whether it's my fault or someone else's, my behaviour- all our behaviours- is dictated by what is inside, what our true desires are, and what we hide in our hearts.
A little while ago my husband made a mistake and it made things very uncomfortable for us. I asked him a bit about it and his answer was 'I made a mistake'. I could risk an argument or content myself with that answer so I contented myself with that answer, wondering at how such a mistake could be made. Maybe a week later I had an opportunity to do something and- wouldn't you know- I made a mistake. It cost me a whole nights sleep (not kidding) and some other things I won't mention. When I finally got some sleep and had some time to ponder the Lord gently said, 'how could you make such a mistake?' and with my own words He condemned me. My only answer could be 'I made a mistake'; there's nothing more to it than that I could not be better informed than I was but I had still judged poorly and made a mistake.
I had to smile that the INCREDIBLY merciful way God taught me that but also I had to marvel at His way of giving me my desire.
One of my desires when it comes to my husband is that I reverence him the way the Lord wants me to. It ties into these verses:

The heart of her husband doth safely

trust in her, so that he shall have no need of

spoil.

She will do him good and not evil all the

days of her life.

Proverbs 31:11-12

and

Nevertheless let everyone of you in

particular so love his wife even as himself;

and the wife see that she reverence her

husband.

Ephesians 5:33

So while my husband may not know the things that go on in my head, God does and He knows what I really truly desire and He is bringing me about to accomplish that desire even though it puts me in uncomfortable situations. 

God can and will use our mistakes for our own benefit- if we let Him.

These are those little things that show us God is real and that He cares.

I made a mistake in my own leadership recently and so my mind has been turned on to leadership. 

Though I've been hurt by leaders before, I feel more keenly now more than ever the pain a leader can bring to those that are following them.

I was recently told by someone that something had happened in their life partially because 'those who should have been there weren't'. That phrase still strikes me a month later because I am looking at someone who, though their leaders were not the culprits, was harmed by their leadership.

I've thought on my own actions along side those of certain leaders in my life and realized how sometimes my actions were dictated and taken in despair because of what that leader was (or was not) doing.

Inevitably I've really truly begun to see the gravity of leadership- especially in Spiritual matters.

The most challenging part is that the small things matter the most and make the biggest difference.

As one who is under authority I will say that the most painful thing for me is when I am trying my best, working hard, my heart is right with what I know but I happen to be erring and the leader does not say anything or treats my mistakes with contempt and ridicule. I will say that most of the time my feelings get hurt by someone else (leader or not) is when they don't deal with me directly and tell me something that I am missing. It makes me feel like they don't like me enough to tell me, they think my heart is in the wrong place, or they don't care about what I'm doing.

As one who is in authority I will say that the hardest thing for me (and probably the majority of leaders) is to see those under me doing things that hurt others and themselves and though I warn and warn and warn against it, they make no changes and have to deal with the repercussions. 

Even though our leaders hurt us and aren't always right, we are responsible for our actions.

Recently someone keeps shooting (figuratively) at me. I'm not going to lie, it really hurts. As I've pondered it, God has brought me to my own actions and my own thoughts. He's reminded me of the things I know through experience. He's shown me what those shots reveal about me.
As a man thinketh in his heart so is he and I've seen, in my criticisms of this person that I am guilty of the same things but in a different way. 

While these things are particularly painful, I see God's hand in them, strengthening me and molding me. I'm not sure this person is right in what they are doing but it's not up to me to justify or condemn them. I can only look at my reaction to it. I am trying to humble myself through it, learn from it, and maybe God will have mercy and turn it from me.

While we must be discreet in our thoughts and actions toward our leaders, the leaders must be aware that their actions and words will have an effect no matter what their motives are for the way they act.
It's obvious that mistakes happen but what will heal and build trust is the reaction toward those mistakes. Leaders with the best motives will make mistakes and I believe God is merciful and will give those leaders the chance to prove that their heart was right despite their actions.
That's not to say that the damage will not be great and take a long time to heal.
I do believe, from my experience, that if your heart is right that God will teach you in a smaller lesson than a bigger one. I think sometimes big lessons come in when you need a heart change and a behavioural change.

And back to where I began- I'm grateful for God's leadership. I'm grateful I can rely on Him to lead me exactly where I need to go and point my thoughts in the right direction. It's hard to be heavenly minded when you live in this world and are constantly bombarded by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Still, God is faithful and He will lead you to what's right.

Close to God

One of the traps we fall into as more mature Christians is thinking that we're close to God because we read our bible, pray every day, fast occasionally, go to church for every service, and generally avoid all appearance of evil.
Those are all good things, no question about it, but I'm realizing more and more that those things don't necessarily bring you close to God.
Have you ever been at some sort of a function and eaten whatever you wanted to to your hearts content? Burger, fries, pizza, baked potatoes, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, lasagna, washing it down with punch, and pop before downing ice cream cake, chocolate cake, cupcakes, cookies, donuts, and a sundae.
On the occasions I have allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted to I've felt incredibly fat and gross after. While all those things sound delicious and are delicious, you can generally only really enjoy them one at a time and in a moderate dose. You have to enjoy them properly.
I am relating eating all that 'good' stuff to doing all that 'good' (reading, praying, church going etc...) stuff in my life because I feel spiritually 'fat' afterwards but I am not nourished or any closer to God for them.

You wake up early on a Sunday, do your devotions, pray for the upcoming service, you put your best clothes on to go to the house of the Lord, you teach, you help out, you sing, you listen and learn, you stay late and fellowship and you feel all good about yourself but when you go home and really think about it, you're not much better off than you were while you were sleeping on Saturday night.
What did you really do by doing all that, who were you serving, who was it for? Did God really get the glory in it?
For me, and I'm willing to bet most christian's I know and fellowship with, I do those things because I like to, I enjoy it, it's part of my being.
I grew up going to church because my parents went to church and I had no choice. Now that I am an adult, I have my own relationship with Jesus and I go to church because its part of a healthy relationship with God, I love church, and I need church. Between growing up in church and choosing to continue to go now, I can say that going to church is who I am- it is apart of me and not being able to go would leave a very big hole in my life.
It's the same as reading my bible and studying it- it's part of who I am.
So if it's part of who I am, what I enjoy doing, is it really glorifying God? Is it really bringing me closer to Him?

What I have come to realize is that maintaining real and deep closeness to the Lord  empties you- it requires sacrifice. It's like being lean but fit.

And Ornan said unto David, Take it to

thee, and let my lord the king do that which

is good in his eyes: lo, I give thee the oxen

also for burnt offerings, and the threshing

instruments for wood, and the wheat for the

meat offering; I give it all.

And king David said to Ornan, nay; but I 

will verily buy it for the full price: for I will not

take that which is thine for the LORD, nor

offer burnt offerings without cost.

So David gave to Ornan for the place six

hundred shekels of gold by weight.

1 Chronicles 21:23-35

David wants to buy a threshing floor from Ornan to sacrifice to the Lord and Ornan tells him he will give him the threshing floor and the oxen for the sacrifice. David declines because it's not a true sacrifice to the Lord if it does not cost the one who is sacrificing anything.

And Elijah took twelve stones, according

to the number of the tribes of the sons of

Jacob, unto whom the word of the LORD

came, saying, Israel shall be thy name:

And with the stones he built an altar in

the name of the LORD: and he made a

trench about the altar, as great as would

contain two measures of see.

And he put the wood in order, and cut the

bullock in pieces, and laid him on the wood,

and said, fill four barrels with water, and

pour it on the burnt sacrifice, and on the

wood.

And he said, Do it the second time. And

they did it the second time. And he said, Do

it the third time. And they did it the third time.

And the water ran round the altar;

and he filled the trench also with water.

1 Kings 18:31-35

This takes place during a grievous drought; in a test to see which god is the true God, Elijah pours over the sacrifice the most precious commodity in the land- water. If you don't know the end of the account-

Then the fire of the LORD fell, and

consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood,

and the stones, and the dust, and licked up

the water that was in the trench.

And when all the people saw it, they fell

on their faces: and they said, The LORD, he is

the God; the LORD, he is the God.

1 Kings 18:38&39

Almost immediately after, there fell a 'great rain'. 

In both the accounts above it is evident that the Lord responds to real sacrifice and real sacrifice means that there is a cost involved- in David's case, money, in Elijah's case, water. 

I can say really easily that going to church, getting involved, reading my bible, praying, sometimes even fasting are easy for me to do. I have done all those things for years and they have become part of who I am- I am God's child, these are the things His children do if they want to be in fellowship with Him. However, being close to God requires sacrifice and while those things listed are good and edifying, oftentimes they do not require sacrifice.

My pastor spoke about rest in his Sunday morning sermon and he mentioned that that night (we don't have evening service one Sunday a month) he didn't intend to pick up his bible and read it.

I began to think about that and wonder if maybe I feel like I need to read the bible a lot because I'm trying to feel close to God. While he preached I found myself shamefully wondering if my constant need to read another chapter or get off alone to pray was a way for me to compensate for not being close to God.

God teaches me a lot, He's teaching me a lot right now, He's answering a lot of questions I have- which I will share eventually. But knowledge isn't evidence of closeness. Fellowship is not evidence of closeness. There are people in my church who I fellowship with, I love, I help but I am not close to them. That's fine, you can't be close to everybody but you should fellowship and be close to God.

I've been a Christian for years and I know what to do to be a 'good' christian. What I realized is that I want to be close to God but retain all my creature comforts. In other words, I don't want to sacrifice the things that make my flesh happy to be close to God. In other other words, I'm happy to do the easy things to be in fellowship with God but I am unwilling to make the little everyday sacrifices to walk closely with him.
I am unwilling to sacrifice my will for God's will.

On Youtube, for example, I was watching a Pokemon Go vlog because I'm not going to play the game but I was very curious about it. Of course I got hooked on the vlog and I had to watch the newest one every day. The videos averaged 15 minutes or so, there's no cussing in them, no graphic images, there is some blasphemy but not a lot, I really enjoyed them but I was under constant conviction that I should not watch them. Every time I would watch one I would think to myself that it's okay, I'm just taking a little break, this is harmless- except, God didn't want me to watch them.
At the end of the day it doesn't really matter why I shouldn't watch them and frankly I don't care why. It might seem like a trifle to others but it was preventing me from being close to God. It's not like I can apologize for watching it one day and then watch it the next day. It's either the vlog or my relationship with God. So I stopped watching it. It's not a big sacrifice or anything but it's me, sacrificing my will to God. I still want to watch them but I don't, that vlog is not worth my relationship with God.
Don't shake your head like these little things don't matter. If you obey in the small things, God will trust you with bigger things. If you're stuck in a rut in your Christian life, if you don't seem to be moving forward or being taught anything it's because you haven't done anything with what God has already put in front of you. As soon as I made up my mind just to stop watching, God taught me all this.
I know that is a silly, small example but it's the very thing that I am talking about in this post. The little everyday choices we make that either bring us close to God or take us away from Him.
Driving is another example- the speed limit is the law. Is your relationship with God really worth speeding? I like driving fast but my willingness to obey the speed limit is another small, everyday thing that will really show God whether you are serving yourself or serving Him.

The last time I fasted I tried to go for longer than I've ever fasted before (which is not that long by the way) and it was not easy at all. In those extra hours I fasted and it became a real sacrifice to refrain from eating, I finally learned that it's real sacrifice that draws you close to God.

Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a

trumpet, and shew my people their 

transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.

Yet they seek me daily, and delight to know

my ways, as a nation that did righteousness,

and forsook not the ordinance of their God:

they ask of me the ordinances of justice;

they take delight in approaching to God.

Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and

thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted

our soul, and thou takest no knowledge?

Behold, in the day of your fast ye find

pleasure, and exact all your labours.

Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and

to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall

not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice 

to be heard on high.

Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day

for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow

down his head as a bulrush, and to spread

sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou

call this a fast, and an acceptable day unto the

LORD?

Isaiah 58:1-5

The purpose of fasting is to starve your flesh and feed your spirit. Eating is a primal need, it's what keeps our physical bodies going and abstaining from that shows our flesh that it is inherently wicked, it needs to stave, it needs to die but we are stuck in it until our souls are called Home (Romans 8).

In the above passage, the people are fasting but to their own ends. They are not fasting to afflict their souls, bow down their heads, and mourn therefore God does not hear them, He does not regard their fasting, it's as if they're not fasting.
I am not saying God does not regard my going to church, reading, praying, fasting, etc. The fact is, that those things serve me as much as they are evidence of my serving God. It is no thing to me to go to church three times a week. I love the fellowship, singing hymns, I really love preaching, I love praying, I just love church. My going to church is not evidence that I am close to God- it may be to the world but I know it is not for me. My going to church is not a sacrifice for me. It is good, well pleasing to the Lord, but choosing to put on the breaks to go from 61 to 60 when the speed limit is 60 is a far greater token of my desire to be close to God. What's the point of going to church if I'm going to break the law all the way there?

If thou turn away thy foot from the

sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy

day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy

of the LORD, and honourable; and shalt honour

him, not doing thine own way, nor finding

thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own

words:

Then shalt thou delight thyself in the

LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the

high places of the earth, and feed thee with

the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the

mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.

Isaiah 58:13&14

(side note, Isaiah 58 is a great chapter to read before or during a fast)

So though I do get up early and study, I take time to go to church and take steps to be involved in it, those things, while good, edifying, and fruitful do not necessarily bring me closer to God. 

The things that bring me closer to God are doing His way, finding His pleasure, and speaking His words in the little things that no one notices. God knows and He'll reward you for it up in Heaven.

It has only been a few days since I've really learned this but I've already noticed a greater peace and more security in knowing that I'm doing right.
I used to go through my whole day almost worrying that I wasn't in God's will and walking close to Him because I hadn't read my bible in the last two hours. Now, I know that if I just make the right decisions every minute and let God really and truly control my day, I will be close to Him even if I go 10 hours without reading.
This will go for everything except praying (we are instructed to pray without ceasing). If we just make His decisions instead of our own, we will read when we need to (extra reading beside set devotions), fast when we need to and as long as we need to, witness the right way, and be a bigger blessing and more fruitful at church.

He must increase, but I must decrease.

John 3:30

I hope I explained this right, and that it's a blessing to you!

Row Your Own Boat

"A legalist is someone who has one more conviction than you do."
"A conviction is something you will die for, everything else is a preference."
"You put your convictions on other people so they act like you and make you more comfortable."

Recently we had a missionary family come through our church and I noticed a little Star Wars Lego key chain on their daughter's purse.
I saw it and said (kindly), "Oh you like Star Wars?"
She said yes as she quickly grabbed it and explained her discomfort, "we don't talk about it in churches because some people are very against it."
I tried to restore her comfort as best I could by telling her I had just seen the new movie and telling her a joke- why did Kylo Ren cross the street? To get to the dark side (LOL!).
I can just imagine the reaction her family receives sometimes when people, who don't allow Star Wars, find out. Christians get those reactions all the time from other Christians who have different convictions- or rather, preferences.
This kind of thing used to make me angry- how dare they?- but now it just makes me sad. Why would you put up a wall between yourself and another christian just because they can watch Star Wars and you can't?
It's divisive.
This small interaction reminded me of a post that I wanted to write but had not get gotten the chance to. Sometimes the Lord gives me an idea for a post and then feeds me with food for it over the course of a few weeks or months to get me ready to write it.

I am writing today about how God deals with us all individually.
I've written before about how we can not put our convictions on others but this is a more in depth look, past convictions and into the things God has for each of us.

Last Sunday night my pastor said that he can only read small portions of scripture daily (I'm assuming this is his personal devotions and not his study for preaching) to get anything out of it. It's different for me- I have to read a lot of it of scripture daily to get anything out of it.
Does that make me more spiritual than my pastor?
No.
He's most definitely a lot more spiritual than I am, most likely pays better attention to it, and retains it better than I do.
From the way my pastor spoke of the amount of scripture he reads, I am convinced that he is satisfied that he's in the Lord's will concerning it.
I know for myself that I am in the Lord's will concerning how much scripture I read.
Which brings me to my point: God does not require the same thing from all of us.

That small example is what this post is about. I hope it is a help to you, especially if you're burdened by what other people do.

First thing first, you are accountable to God for what YOU do.

Wherefore we labour, that, whether

present or absent, we may be accepted of

him.

For we must all appear before the

judgment seat of Christ; that every one may

receive the things done in his body,

according to that he hath done, whether it

be good or bad.

2 Corinthians 5:9&10

You are judged for the things you do. You will not stand for someone else, you will stand for you.

We won't be able to say 'my husband made me' or 'my pastor told me to'. If we did it, we are responsible for it. That's not to say the people who misled us are excused but God will handle them at their own judgment. We are entirely responsible for our own relationship with God and the things done in our bodies.

So then every one of us shall give account

of himself to God.

Romans 14:12

Next, we all have our own course to run:

I have fought a good fight, I have finished

my course, I have kept the faith:

2 Timothy 4:7

Paul had his own course, given to him by God, perfectly fitted for Paul's strengths and weaknesses to bring out the best that Paul could glorify God with. That means the course he was on was for him to run and no one else.

Let me give you an example:

A relative of mine (by marriage) was staying with us for a few days. He went on my husband's computer and changed everything around. He explained that the way my husband had it set up was inconvenient and wrong so he 'fixed' it for him.

Nope, not good. I don't think I've ever seen my husband that irritated.

What this relative didn't seem to understand was that my husband had his computer a certain way for his own reasons and that it worked for him and his needs.

I know this relative did not mean harm- he wanted to be helpful- but he messed things up and caused my husband a lot of frustration and inconvenience.

This relative did what I think many of us Christians do to each other when it comes to our choices and preferences- he equated his own needs with the needs of my husband, he was his experience ahead of my husband's experience, and he was working on something that wasn't his to work on because it had absolutely nothing to do with him.
He did not save the computer from dying because it wasn't dying. The purpose of that computer was to serve my husband, not that relative. How could that relative know how that computer could best serve my husband?
We can't save saved people from going to Hell- they're already going to heaven. Their purpose is to serve God by running the course He set them on. We don't know how best they can serve God, that is between them and God.

That is not to say that a christian who avoids going to church, reading their bible, and praying is in the Lord's will. Many preachers have said this- if you want to know the Lord's will for your life, start by doing the things you know for sure are His will. In other words, read your bible and pray every day.
My pastor spoke of this today- we can dress 'right', serve in the church, avoid the appearance of evil but if our hearts are not right with God, it doesn't make any eternal difference. You'll just burn out and give up.

This people draweth nigh unto me with their

mouth, and honoureth me with their lips;

but their heart is far from me.

But in vain they do worship me, teaching

for doctrines the commandments of men.

Matthew 15:8&9

I point this out because we cannot make anyone serve God. We can get them to look like they're serving the Lord but it won't make a spec of difference in their lives. It's different for children, by the way, I'm talking about grown christians.

Look to yourselves, that we lose not those

things which we have wrought, but that we

receive a full reward.

2 John 8

Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 talk about spiritual gifts and- big surprise- they're all different.
This is why the bible says look to yourselves. We're all different- different strengths, different weaknesses, different experiences, different personalities, different gifts. All these differences mean we have different functions in the body of Christ. This has been said so many times but it bears repeating: the arm cannot accuse the nose of being unhelpful. If the arm is judging the nose by how useful the arm is at what it's doing, the nose will never even come close to being useful. They're different so they are treated, judged, and rewarded differently.
Rewards are personal to you. You get a reward for doing what God has told you to do.

She hath done what she could:

Mark 14:8

That is Jesus on Mary anointing His feet before the crucifixion. It's very simple- she did what she could. She could not have done more than she did, she did not do less than what she could, she did it exactly right.

Her reward-

Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this

gospel shall be preached throughout the

whole world, this also that she hath done

shall be spoken of for a memorial of her.

Mark 14:9

I have to mention that Mary broke the box and poured it all out on Jesus. A preacher said this- we Christians open the box and just pour a little bit out. The best, most pricy thing Mary had, she poured out completely to the Lord. She gets named in the Bible for all eternity and people in heaven, a hundred million billion years (I know that technically it's eternity and there are no years but I'm just trying to make a point) from now will know what she did and will be reminded of it when they see the scars in Jesus' hands. There aren't many people who can boast of that.
Had Mary been fearful of those disciples surrounding Jesus, she would not have gotten the reward that was readily available for her. We all have our own rewards; it has nothing to do with other people.
Back to Paul writing to Timothy:

I have fought a good fight, I have finished

my course, I have kept the faith:

Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown

of righteousness, which the Lord, the

righteous judge, shall give me at that day:

and not to me only, but unto all them also

that love his appearing.

2 Timothy 4:7&8

The crown of righteousness is something more than one person will get and Paul is getting his because he fought the good fight, finished his course, and kept the faith.

This shows us that if we fight the good fight, finish our courses, and keep the faith, we will receive a crown of righteousness.

Life is hard and it's partially hard because God wants us to lay up crowns. My pastor's dad preached this on Wednesday- the Hall of Faith is filled with accounts of people who had their security and stability taken from them but it increased their faith and they obtained a better resurrection because of it.

God leads us to these things like He led the children of Israel to the Red Sea and He led David through the valley of the shadow of death. He leads us to it and through it and when we get to Glory, we will receive a crown for it.

We don't get a crown for 'fixing' everyone else's problems for them and shoving our preferences down their throats. Our battles are all different, our trials all vary, some of us have more faith than others- it's a learning process for all of us.

To sum up the things written above:
1) We are accountable to God for the things we do
2) We all have our own course to run, fitted for each of us personally by God
3) We have our own rewards to obtain by doing those things God has given for us to do

Now to this passage which I think has some of the greatest verses on how christians should interact with each other-
Galatians 6
1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault,
ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in
the spirit of meekness; considering thyself,
lest thou also be tempted.
Here is one verse detailing how to handle open sin. Notice you have to be spiritual and meek to do this.
Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. (1 Corinthians 10:12)
2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so
fulfil the law of Christ.
Christ bore our burden's to Calvary- He bore our sin. If someone else is headed down a bad path, bear that burden, sorrow for them, pray for them, intercede for them. 
Another way to apply this verse it taking someone else's burdens on you. My sister's one year old son has been very clingy recently and my pastor's wife often tries to give my sister a break by taking him so my sister can just sit and listen to preaching. (Obviously my nephew is not a burden but babies are tiring when you have them 24/7.) Thats a small but good example of bearing someone else's burden- lift their load a bit and help them rest.
3 For if a man think himself to be something,
when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.
As soon as you think you've got a doctorate in Pride, you're back to the drawing board. Don't think you're better than  others for making wiser decisions. If you know better to make better decisions and you think that makes you better than others, you are deceived. The grace of God gave you that wisdom. Be thankful and humble.
4 But let every man prove his own work, and
then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone,
and not in another.
One of my favourite verses because it gives me such great peace. Let me prove my own work. I don't have to look at what my husband is doing for the Lord, or my son, or anyone else.
I know I am where God wants me and He has given me specific things to do while I'm here. I'm too busy focusing on the things He's given me to be worried about anyone else. 
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it. (Proverbs 9:12)
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:31)
We have our own work to prove.
One of the works God has given me is my bible class- I invest in those students. As I've gotten to know them I love them more and more because I see their personalities and I enjoy them. Investing in those students, means I do my best to teach them what God will have me to teach, I pray over them like they're my own, and I take active interest in them. If one of them (God forbid!) departs from God when they are older, my prayer is that I've proved my work and even though they left, I can rejoice that I did what I could for that child.
Departing from God is wrong- there's no question- but it's not for me to force them to do what's right. If the Holy Spirit can't convince them, I will not be able to.
5 For every man shall bear his own burden.
Verse two is a command- he tells us to bear each other's burdens- we can (unwisely) ignore it if we want to. This one is a statement. 
A young pastor who's wife was murdered was asked if he had forgiven the murderers. He said that he's chosen the path of forgiveness because unforgiveness and bitterness only effects you. Choosing not to forgive them would be a burden only he would bear, they would not bear it at all.
That's what this is.
If you choose to let the fact that a missionary allows his daughter to watch Star Wars, that will be your burden to bear, your relationship with God is effected, and you will bear the division in the body of Christ. She'll go on her merry way because it doesn't matter what YOU think she can or cannot watch. You are not the Holy Spirit.

So what do we actually do about all this? It's hard not to put our preferences on others, even if we don't say any of it out loud.
This is mostly a battle in your mind. It won't come out unless you let it out. This is a battle that is won or lost in your heart and mind.
Let me be clear on a few things, this post is about behavioural things only that are not open, flagrant, dangerous sins like preaching heresy, drug/ alcohol addiction, fornication, or adultery. This is about things like reading a different bible version, or what you watch on TV, or what you wear, and so on.
There are several things that have helped me in this that will hopefully help you.
The first is esteeming others better than myself.
The bible says

Let nothing be done through strife or

vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each

esteem other better than themselves.

Look not every man on his own things, but

every man also on the things of others.

Philippians 2:3&4

Please look up the context of this passage in Philippians and you'll see that the Holy Spirit is referring to Jesus taking on 'the form of a servant'. Note also that 'esteem' in verse three means you actually think others are better than you. It's not the pretence of acting outwardly like they are better than you all the while in your mind knowing you are way better then they are. You actually THINK they are better than you and you act accordingly.

All that into consideration: our main verse, verse four, is saying we need to look on the things of others as a servant. That means looking out for their needs before ours, helping them, serving them, protecting their interests, putting them first. This is what Jesus did to the point He conquered sin and death and is salvation to everyone who believes.

This verse is not telling us to be up in each other's business, telling them what their convictions should be, how they should serve the Lord, how many people they should win to Christ, and how they should run their lives in order to be as spiritual as you. (Maybe we don't tell them the things we think they should do to their face but we think about it constantly.) If we esteem others better than ourselves, we will be a much better blessing and testimony to them.
For example:
There is a TV show my husband and I used to watch but we got heavily convicted that we should not watch it.
We stopped watching it.
Then someone we know from church told us that they watch it and find it really funny.
Now, before I learned the things I'm writing about in this post, my reaction would have been very judgmental, condemning, and I'd look at them differently- I may even look down on them a bit.
Now I just see that and say 'okay'. If I esteem them better then they are better than I am- that show doesn't generate evil thoughts in them and it doesn't make them fleshly. If they can watch that show without conviction, they're obviously better than my husband and I are!
However, if they shouldn't be watching it, God will deal with them the right way and my husband and I won't have to have anything to do with it. There is no division in the body of Christ and everyone's testimony with each other is intact.

This is not to say that people don't make mistakes. Sometimes we see them walking straight into a giant mess. Unfortunately, unsolicited advice is never heeded. Even if it's the best advice ever, if they don't want it, they won't hear it, they won't heed it. Bear their burdens by praying for them and offering up supplications on their behalf. Also, they have to learn their own lessons and most of us learn the hard way.

Next, comparisons are a no-no:

For we dare not make ourselves of the

number, or compare ourselves with some 

that commend themselves: but they

measuring themselves by themselves, and

comparing themselves among themselves, 

are not wise.

2 Corinthians 10:12

I can't say it better than that.

Using yourself as a measuring stick and comparing yourself with those around you is not wise.

So don't. Whatever it is, be it spiritual matters, personal tastes, parenting, just don't make yourself the standard and don't compare others to your standard.

It's like buying an outfit because it looks good on someone else. It won't look exactly the same on you- you might hate it.

Lastly, look at people the way Jesus looks at them.

But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I

will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am

not come to call the righteous, but sinners to

repentance.

Matthew 9:13

But when he saw the multitudes, he was

moved with compassion on them, because

they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as

sheep having no shepherd.

Matthew 9:36

Jesus knows everything about us and He still died for us. He knew we'd still live for ourselves after we were saved but He still died for us. He knew we'd mess up and hurt our testimony in the world but He still died for us.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake

hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32

We forgive each other, because God has forgiven us.

For if ye love them which love you, what thank have

ye? for sinners also love those that love them.

And if ye do good to them which do good to you,

what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.

And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive,

what thank have y? for sinners also lend to sinners, to

receive as much again.

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend,

hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be

great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for

he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is

merciful.

Luke 6:32-36

We love others, do good, lend, be merciful to those who would not do those things to us because that's what glorifies God.

I've made many embarrassing mistakes. Some of those mistakes I can look back and say, 'I wish someone had warned me, I wish someone had told me'. Now, some things I know I would not have listened, but other mistakes I made because I didn't know. Because of this, whenever someone is doing something similar, I have more pity, I pray harder for them, and I remember, 'they just don't know better'.

One of the things that frustrates me is when people treat others meanly because of a mistake made by someone who didn't know better. I want God to have mercy on me, to be lenient on those mistakes I made in ignorance. We need to extend that mercy we want from God to others. 

Jesus is our standard- we will all be conformed to His image- Ephesians 4:13, Romans 8:29
If we keep our eyes on Him, if we measure ourselves by Him, we will be well aware of who we are, what we are, and what we deserve. We will serve others better if we have the right view of ourselves, and Christ's view of them.

I hope this was a blessing and a help to you!

Never Say Never

I've taught the young ones in my Bible Class for probably eight months now and we've gotten to know each other. During our first few months of lessons I would ask if they had questions or comments and I'd get silly comments and insincere questions.
Lately, though, the kids have been on a roll giving me perfect examples of the lessons from their own lives. I'm not sure what it is but it gives me joy.
Two Sundays ago I was teaching on Mary who poured spikenard on Jesus' head. I noted the disciples' indignation at her and told the children that other people will try to tell you what to do with what God has given you. I told them that we all have different convictions and that we can't judge other people for their convictions because God deals with us all differently.
I tried to use one example about clothes that didn't work so then I moved to a more obvious example: alcohol.
They all understood this right away and one said, "I will never drink alcohol!"
I smiled at her while all my years ran through my head and I said, "never say never," and moved on with my example.

Later on as I thought about it, God told me that my response was not edifying.
"Never say never," is a pessimistic way of looking at the matter.
I know why I said that. I said that because I know that we get put into situations we never dreamed of being in, our emotions and feelings get the better of us and suddenly we're doing something we never thought we'd do.
I missed a good time for good instruction.
Fortunately, this past Sunday we had a few things to do and I couldn't start our new character study- Mary Magdalene. As I prayed about what to teach about God pointed out my 'never say never' comment and told me to fix it.
This is one of those things that are a good reminder for all of us. I wrote this post on Saturday night but I left off publishing it to today. Thinking about it all last week has reminded me of things God has dealt with me on in the past and things I must continually remember. I hope it helps.

Proverbs 27:1- Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.
James 4:13-17- Go to now, ye that say, To day or tomorrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? it is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
For that ye ought to say, if the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

We don't know where we will wind up, what we will do, and what we will be. Nothing is for certain in this life except the Bible. The bible is full of examples of people who thought their lives were going one way only to be in a completely different situation from one day to the next. We can't say we'll never do something because we really do not know.
The only thing we can do, is guard against sin that may tempt us.

Luke 22:40- And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation.
This is in the garden of Gethsemane and Jesus knows what is about to happen. He is about to be taken by force, his disciples would be scattered from Him, and Peter would betray Him. He tells them to pray so they would not enter into temptation. Instead they go to sleep. I wonder if Peter would have betrayed Christ three times had he been praying there instead of sleeping.
That verse is there for us too: pray that ye enter not into temptation.
There is so much to pray about in those words since there are so many things that can lead the children, and us, into temptation.
Some things to pray about:
-staying away from ungodly influences
-staying away from ungodly people
-keeping out of situations that can lead to temptation
-staying in the Word and praying
-staying in church
-obeying their parents
-getting good counsel from godly elders
-protection from wolves in sheep's clothing
-protection in general
There are so many things that can happen to us at any given moment. It is only by God's grace that we are protected, whole, and unblemished by the world.
My mother-in-law works with young women who have been trafficked and the girls in the horrifying stories she tells (only when I ask, she doesn't volunteer them) were once just like some of the girls I teach now.
It's God's grace that protects them, that has protected me, that has protected their parents.
They need to be prayed up and ready for whatever comes their way.

After praying, they need to make the decision now. It was a good thing she said, that she will never drink alcohol, it is good that she has made up her mind in that.
One of the best things I've ever heard a preacher say is that we are to live by principle and not by feeling. Our feelings change from one day to another- sometimes from one minute to the next- we can't rely on them especially since they often go against God.
I am run a lot on emotion- this 'I don't feel like it' nonsense that gets me no where. That kind of things coddles your flesh and you wind up away from God because you'll always choose your flesh rather than what's right. In every choice it can't be whether I feel like it or not but what is right or wrong or what is good or greater.
During the lesson one child gave an example where some of her friends were talking about a show she had never seen before and her friends were commenting that the bad. She never watched it and didn't know what it was about but she agreed with them. Then they started talking about a show she really liked and they said it was dumb. Well, she agreed with them there too even though it was her favourite show. (It really encouraged me that she could look at her actions and judge them the way she did) This is just a great example of making choices by feeling rather than principle. These small things come up everyday and test our character. Will we choose to be honest because God commands it or will we justify a lie by how we feel?

When we are right with God, when we are unemotionally attached, we need to purpose in our hearts to do right.
For the children a big one will be keeping themselves pure until marriage. Other ones include keeping away from bad company, watching their language, subjecting themselves to authority, and living what they are at church at home.
They need to decide to do it now so that when the time comes, they've already made the choice and it's the right one.
I saw this once and it rang true for me:

I remember seeing this and being struck by what great advice it is. All those things- replies, promises, decisions- need reason, logic, and an even mind. Our emotions destroy all reason.

Be sober, be vigilant; because our adversary the

devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom

he may devour:

1 Peter 5:8

There are those big things- like addiction to drugs and alcohol- then the seemingly little things- like cussing when your parents aren't around. Either way, they, and we need to guard ourselves against it before we're even faced with the temptation to do it. Satan will use both small and big things to devour us is we're not careful.

My prayer for each of the children I teach is that they stay faithful to God. This won't happen, or at least I won't help it happen, if I'm not using what they give me to teach them. In other words, I need to use every opportunity to turn their minds to Christ. 

I love the way the children challenge me. They teach me so much and I don't think they'll ever know it. I can only hope and pray that God uses me, even a little bit, to encourage them spiritually.

Important Thoughts

The heart is deceitful above all things, and

desperately wicked: who can know it?

Jeremiah 17:9

I struggled a lot with my last post because I know it is incomplete. While it was about marital harmony and how our thoughts impact that, it's far more important to acknowledge that our thoughts effect our relationship with God first. All our relationships and everything in life fall into their proper place when you put God at the top and focus on pleasing Him.

The verse above from Jeremiah tells us that we are inherently wicked: our hearts are not naturally right with God. This means that we can't just let our hearts be as they are. We can't follow our hearts because they'll lead us to Hell- unless you're saved then they'll lead you away from God and a fruitless life.

Our hearts require work:

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the

issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

The first time the word keep shows up in the bible is Genesis 2:15:

And the LORD God took the man, and put him into

the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

Keep has to do with taking care of and tending to. Not only that, it means to guard:

So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east

of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword

which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of

life.

Genesis 3:34

Keep- tend, care, guard- your heart with all diligence. That means put effort into it, put work into it, track down every rabbit down every hole and find out where it leads. In other words, if your natural reaction is wrong in certain situations or you have thoughts and feelings that are not right, look into the heart of the matter.

Take covetousness, for example, covetousness comes from ingratitude, which comes from pride, which is thinking you better than you are and deserve better than you have. I know this because it is a problem with me, God told me so, I've searched it out and am wary of it. God hates covetousness- in Exodus 18 one of his stipulations for rulers was that they hated covetousness- so letting it reign in me, even for a short while, separates me from Him. Covetousness in me in just one example and one I'm slowly getting the victory over. I'm learning there are many facets to covetousness and it can effect my motivation for everything I do if I'm not right with God.
Whatever your besetting sin is, I promise you, it comes from the heart. Chase that rabbit down that hole and it will lead you deep into your heart. I'm covetous because I am proud, vain, and I deeply care what other people think about me. It's my minutely task to correct those things. It's actually easy to humble myself: I remember my habits, stupid decisions, and how slow I actually am; but it's also very easy to forget when pride and self preservation creep in. 

So stay in the Word. The more you're in the Word the more God points things out to you. The more you surround yourself with good influences, the more in contact you are with God throughout your day, the more the Holy Spirit will guide you, point things out to you, and teach you. I wouldn't know I have a problem with covetousness if I wasn't spending time in the Word. There are things God is teaching me now that I would not know if I didn't read and study. Reading the Word helps you arm yourself against those sins our hearts are naturally inclined to. As you get to know yourself better in light of what God thinks, the Holy Spirit helps you dodge your besetting sin and make godly choices. You have to replace what is in your heart with what God thinks about it- that means staying in the Word.

The thing is, your mind is usually the first place you sin. We can get pharisee-ical about this because no one but God sees our minds.  It's ironic that the thing that's hidden from others is the thing we need to guard most vigilantly.

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time,

Thou shalt not commit adultery:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a

woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with

her already in his heart.

Matthew 5:27&28

Taking into account the religious system of that day (the Pharisees and Sadducees) and the law, it looks as though the 'righteous' people were abstaining from the physical sin but allowing it free reign in their hearts and minds. This is partially why Jesus was on the Pharisees all the time (as we'll see later): they manipulated their appearance and tailored their actions to affect holiness and piety all the while their insides were rotting with unchecked pride and arrogance. They were so committed to their outward appearance, they 'ommitted the weightier matters of the law' which were 'judgment, mercy, and faith'(Matthew 23:23c).

Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye

know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

1 John 3:15

God wants inward obedience first. It's not enough to say, 'I've never killed someone'. Hatred is murder in God's Book. Your outward actions don't mean anything if your heart is not right with God.

For example:

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so

let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God

loveth a cheerful giver.

2 Corinthians 9:7

Don't give if you don't want to

Don't give because you think you have to

Give because you love God

Inward obedience. You'll worry less and less about your physical actions and how others perceive you if you focus on pleasing God from the inside.

That's not to say our physical actions do not effect our relationship with God. Keeping your heart is the first line of defence against physical sin. The things you let dwell in your heart will come up into your mind and eventually out your mouth, through your feet, your eyes, your hands.

O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak

good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the

mouth speaketh.

A good man out of the good treasure of the heart

bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the

evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men

shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day

of judgment.

For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy

words thou shalt be condemned.

Matthew 12:34-37

Okay, if that last verse doesn't scare you, there's something wrong with you. We are held accountable for the words we say, whatever they are, even in jest.
Those words above are Jesus' words, they shouldn't be taken lightly. Whatever is in your heart will come out your mouth. You cannot disguise the wickedness of your heart for long.

So the question is, what are you letting sit unchecked in your heart and mind?

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be

also.

Matthew 6:21

If you want to know what means most to you, what your treasure is, examine your choices and see what is the deciding factor.

The Pharisees, for example, exalted themselves in their own minds so they did things to cause other people to exalt them. They made broad their phylacteries, they loved to be called Rabbi, they made long prayers, they paid tithe of mint, anise, and cummin all to be seen of men (see Matthew 23). As Dr. Peacock says they were 'legends in their own mind; the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral'.
An example closer to home is my own treasure: myself. I know I'm my treasure because everything I do from getting up early to what to wear to what to eat is decided by what will make ME happy and keep me comfortable. Now, by God's grace, I don't behave solely for myself everyday. I want to worship God so I get up early, I want to raise a healthy, God fearing child, so I spend most of my day focusing on him and his needs, I want to please my husband so I put him before myself. Certainly all those things add to my happiness and comfort but they require more work then I'd naturally like to put in. I know this because I get delirious without 'me time', my husband knows this so he takes my son to Home Depot or out for ice cream to give me a break (isn't he wonderful?).
A long time ago I was watching an interview with a retired NBA player who I believe is french Canadian and won the championship with Larry Bird. The interviewer asked why he wasn't wearing his ring and he replied, 'I don't need to. I know what I did, it doesn't matter if others know'. That struck me and I've never forgotten it. It convicts me every time I want to say 'look what I did'. I still do, don't mistake me, but I try not to. Better than we ourselves knowing, God knows, and He's the one storing our treasures in heaven.
I honestly think all of us treasure ourselves first whether we like to admit it or not. Sometimes my motives for doing good things make me very ashamed because it's 100% selfish. Sometimes people say things that I find out of place and then it occurs to me that they are protecting themselves or guarding my thoughts about them. Then I realize that I do the same.
The only thing to do about this is to continually correct our treasure.
Yesterday morning, for example, it was going on 7:45 and I was snoozing comfortably, really not wanting to get up to do my devotions when the thought occurred to me, 'God gets no glory out of this', or something like that, and I got up. My treasure should be God but it naturally is not. Me being my own treasure was ruling until I remembered that I exist to glorify and worship God.

You see, our inward thoughts effect our relationship with God more than almost anything we do physically because our physical sins are the result of what was borne and bred in our minds before that.

Just like myself and covetousness: I tend to waste a lot of money on things I don't need because I need more more more so I can look good for myself. Pride= covetousness= wasting money. That's a light example, I can think of other things borne from covetousness that I'd be too ashamed to admit to on here.

Do ye not understand, that whatsoever entereth

in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out

into the draught?

But those things which proceed out of the mouth

come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders,

adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness,

blasphemies:

These are the things which defile a man: but to eat

with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

Matthew 15:17-20

Notice how most of those things- murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, blasphemy- are physical sins but two of them, as noted before, can be done in the mind. Sin is born and bred in our hearts.

So clean your heart up:

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!

for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the

platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.

Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is

within the cup and platter, that the outside of them

may be clean also.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!

for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed

appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead

men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto

men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Matthew 23: 25-28

Jesus could not be plainer. Though you may appear clean, godly, and put together on the outside, if your inside is run over with excess, extortion, pride, arrogance, greed, and the like: your outside is just as dirty, though man cannot tell at first.
I would venture to say that a person who drinks alcohol but is completely without guile, kind, generous, and sweet has a better relationship with God than a person who avoids alcohol but inside is selfish, malicious, prideful (because they don't drink), and a respecter of persons. Obviously it's not the drinker with the problem- it's the non drinker. 

What do you do?

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after

the flesh:

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but

mighty through God to the pulling down of strong

holds;)

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that

exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and

bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience

of Christ;

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

I used to worry a lot and get paranoid for no reason. One day in my bible reading I came across the above passage and the bolded verse struck me. It is a very powerful verse to me.

The command is strong: bring it into captivity and cast it down.

I was going through a very difficult time with worry when I read this passage. I was pregnant, but I didn't know it yet (I found out at 11 weeks) and I had suddenly been bombarded by my imagination running rampant with frightful things I was afraid would happen.

The only way I could comfort myself was memorizing scripture and quoting it to myself whenever I began to get paranoid. It was during this time that God led me to that verse and taught me what to do.

Whenever you think something sinful, cast it down.

My worrying for example, was a lack of trust in God so I would bring my worrisome thoughts into captivity with Psalm 91. It didn't take long for my worries to abate and finally disappear.

I still become fearful, I still worry but I'm armed with the shield of faith and the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. Those things protect your mind. You just have to use them.

A bad thought come into your head? Push it out and apologize to God. Acknowledge it was wrong. Our thoughts will never be clean this side of heaven, bad things come up all the time but weeding those bad thoughts out prevent bitterness, hate, and wrath from breeding.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and

clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with

all malice:

And be ye kind kind one to another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake

hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31&32

Unity, peace, and kindness come much easier when we don't allow ourselves to have bitter, angry, and evil thoughts about others in our mind. Mean thoughts come into my head all the time- I throw them out and apologize to God. I don't comment mean things to my husband about people- even if he would find it funny. It's giving place to the devil and his devices. It's amazing how much angst, division, strife, we can avoid by keeping a tight reign on our thoughts. It's amazing how much closer you can walk with God by casting out things that may seem harmless at fist.


I hope this was a help to you. I don't know what thoughts you struggle with and what your besetting sins are. I hope my own examples give you an idea of where to start. I've written this post several times because I know its so important. My first post about thoughts didn't present the groundwork for maintaining one's thought life. Sometimes on this blog I just plow through thinking everyone has been saved for twenty years and knows what I know about the bible. That's just not so.

This topic is so expansive and I think I just barley nicked the surface of it. I hope at least it gives you a good idea of God's thoughts on the matter and helps you realize the importance of guarding your heart against sin.
Your whole life will benefit from it.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the

issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

Thoughts

A few posts ago I shared advice given by ladies from my church at our ladies night.
When all was said and done and I was able to look back on what my advice was, I thought I should have rather given what I am about to write in this post.
I didn't regret the advice I gave, I just thought I could have given something more helpful. Also I get really excited when I talk in front of people and I don't think I ever make much sense.
Anyways, someone who was there came up to me on Sunday and told me that what I said helped them. So clearly the Lord had me say that for a reason.

Right now though, if they were to ask me again I would give this advice: control your thoughts.

When I was first married I had no idea that a thought life existed and that it needed to be lassoed, roped up and brought to utter submission.

I didn't realize how strongly thoughts effected you and what they resulted in outside. Once I was married I was forced to edit (or parent) myself from my outward actions down to my smallest inward thought.
My work situation at the time gave me plenty of leave to think about things. I allowed myself to think covetously about clothes, I ranted against my husband, thought whatever I wanted of others, and tried to make myself out to be better than I was.
Needless to say, all these things manifested themselves on the outside:

For as he thinketh in his heart so is he:

Proverbs 23:7a
And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without
understanding?
Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth
in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out
into the draught?
But those things which proceed out of the mouth
come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders,
adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness,
blasphemies:
These are the things which defile a man: but to eat
with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
Matthew 15:16-20
But all things that are reproved are made manifest
by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is
light.
Ephesians 5:13

Everything inside will eventually come out. It just takes time.

As one preacher said, things we consider great sins do not happen suddenly and are not out of character. Whatever it is that was done was the manifestation of what the person thought about and harboured in their heart. In other words, if a man cheats on his wife after 10 years of marriage, he was adulterous in his heart years before the actual physical act took place.

If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

Psalm 66:18

The things we keep in our heart effects our relationship with God first. It has been said so many times that if we put God first in our lives and maintain a good relationship with Him, the rest of our relationships will fall into place and thrive.

This post is about my thought life in my marriage but don't mistake that my wicked thoughts were a result of a sin problem that was preventing a good relationship with God. All the changes I was able to make were a result of a consistent relationship with God and His mercy in pointing things out to me. If you stay in the Word God will show you things when you're out and about. At the exact right time He will reveal something to you that changes your world and the way you do things. I hope this post conveys that.

Thinking covetously about clothes was the fist thing to go because it was making me miserable. I could easily see the effects my thoughts were having on me and I cut it out immediately. God hates covetousness, by the way, see my post on it here.

Ranting against my husband in my mind took a long time. The problem with ranting in your mind is that you begin to imagine things, you blow things out of proportion, you gain confidence where you shouldn't, your pride builds up, and you lose all logic. Even if you are right to be angry about something, ranting in your mind about it will lose you the argument- you've lost all reason.

Since I often fought with my husband in my head, I often fought with him at home. It was bad for a while but then a few things happened to help actually consider what I was doing:

I stopped listening to debates- they were making me aggressive and belligerent.

I stopped taking birth control pills- I need to pause at this one because it really made a big difference in our marriage. When my husband and I spoke of this before we were married he advised me to avoid birth control pills. For me it was the simplest thing so I went on them. Now, there was a sin problem that needed to be taken care of and I can't blame the birth control. I will point out that as soon as I stopped taking them- about six months into my marriage- we fought less. It's a known fact that birth control plays with your hormones and I recall being bloated all the time and generally very uncomfortable.

After those things I read this verse:

An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips

there is a burning fire.

Proverbs 16:27

I knew that was me as soon as I read it. If anything I want to be godly so right then and there I repented of digging up evil and put away the burning fire in my lips. 

I had a lot of damage to repair. I had been argumentative and volatile for months and it was how my husband expected me to react. I stopped letting small things get to me, I picked my battles wisely and instead of letting things fester, I'd calmly talk to my husband about it right away.

We stopped arguing but the healing process took a long time. I had a lot of hard of hard ground to break up and deep rooted weeds to pull out because of the bad seeds I had sown.

At a ladies retreat just over two years ago our speaker said this: ranting in your mind gives place to the devil.

The devil is trying to destroy your testimony and one of the ways he can do it is by destroying your marriage. Don't give him place.

The other thing about this is when you are right, react the right way. Being right about something or being the one who was wronged does not justify the way you react. Our example is Christ:

For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ

also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye

should follow his steps:

Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his

mouth:

Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when

he suffered he threatened not; but committed himself

to him that judgeth righteously:

1 Peter 2:21-23

Let God handle it. He'll give you more justice than you can give yourself.

The other way my thoughts were effecting my marriage was how I thought about myself. I was vain in a lot of ways when I had no reason to be. 

One big thing was that I had to be the most beautiful woman and no one else could even be pretty.

We'd be watching TV, I'd feel threatened by someone else's beauty and I'd casually ask, 'do you think she's pretty?'. Well, there was no right answer to that question because if he said 'no' I wouldn't believe him and if he said 'yes' I'd just get mad at him. These situations resulted in a lot of those fights where you have no idea what you're fighting about, how it even started, but you will win at whatever cost.

I was walking home from work one day and it FINALLY occurred to me that I am not the prettiest, I'll never be, and I should accept it and be happy for people who are.

I repented of my vanity right away. What I did not expect was that I began to be a much happier and more grateful person.

This is really interesting because if you are thankful for what you are, what you have, and how God has blessed you- even when you are mediocre looking, you have little, and God has blessed you with hundreds of dollars rather than millions- you can be really happy and impervious to covetousness, pride, and the need to justify yourself.

A preacher said it like this, 'Don't be envious of people because you have no idea what it cost them to get what they have. Take David for example. God used him for great things but David's sin is written in the bible and will be left there for eternity. Are you willing to have your sin written in God's perfect Word for all to read for eternity?'

No. Not me.

As I learned these things I began to produce the following:

-I started just being happy for other people when they were better than me. This just sets you free. You don't feel anymore pressure to dress the best, look the best, be the smartest, or whatever is important to you. You get to just be and do what you can. It's so freeing.

-I stopped comparing myself to others because there is no comparison between people. God deals with us all differently, we all deal with different things, and simply saying, 'I would do it this way' just comes from what you know and what you've experienced- the other person has different knowledge and experience.

-I began to have more mercy on people. I made cream scones for sunday school one day and a child bit into one, spat it out, loudly complained that it was horrible, and threw the rest of it in the garbage. Before that would've offended me. Now I just look at that and feel sorry that that child doesn't have the manners not to react like that. It's the same way I look at scantily dressed teens in my neighbourhood, people who fall for false religions, and others who are on wayward paths. I feel sorry that they just don't know better and thankful that by God's grace (and ONLY by His grace) I do know better.

The last thing I needed to be rid of- at least get a handle on- was thinking too much about what my husband needed to change. It's so easy to listen to a sermon and think 'I hope he's listening. This is something he needs to hear' or read scripture and apply it to my husband (or anyone else for that matter).
The fact is, you can't change anyone. As Dr. Peacock says, 'if the Holy Spirit can't change them, what makes you think you can?'
My husband once told me that I am the best testimony to him when I quietly go about my business and serve the Lord. I have no idea when I was ever like that and I've seriously tried to attain to it since he told me that.
Something to remember is that unsolicited advice is never heeded. People- including your husband- are not going to listen to you in an area they do not want to be told what to do in.
As many preachers have pointed out: you won't be answering for them at the judgement seat. You'll be answering for yourself. Focus on your own shortcomings.
Now, this doesn't mean I don't tell my husband when I think he's doing something wrong. One time he decided to do something and I was very bothered by it. It did not effect me in any way but I felt very strongly that his conduct was wrong. That night I spoke to him very calmly and logically about it. He told me that I was right and he apologized.
There are things in both my husband and myself that need to change. There are many things we both fall short on. My reaction to my husband's shortcomings cannot be to correct them. My reaction has to be prayer.
God has worked a lot on me through the things I thought my husband needed to change. I don't know what's best. I don't know my husband's heart the way God does. I don't know anything I need to know about my husband. God does know and all I can do, as a good wife, is encourage my husband to do right and pray for him.
Once I stopped looking for ways my husband could improve I started appreciating him a whole lot more. I noticed good things about him I never did before. I started being more of an encouragement to him too because I was generally more positive toward him.

I hope I conveyed what a difference your thoughts make in your marriage. I can't say that I've completely stopped some of the things I've written about above. It's hard work but you've got to be picky about what you let in your mind.
This will be one of the joys of being in heaven: you won't have to worry about what you think anymore. It will just be right. You will open your mouth to say something and what you say will be right. You won't have to wonder what to do next and whether you're making the right decision or not. You'll know what's right and you'll do what's right.
On this side of heaven, however, all we can do is stay close to God by (trying) to keep our minds clean.

For I know the things that come into your mind, every one of them.

Ezekiel 11:5d