As easily as I can say that all those that have led me have failed me in some way or another, I can say that I have failed those I have led countless times. The Lord's leadership has never failed me, His influence has never failed me, His guidance has never failed me.
Sometimes it's really simple, as in, 'eat something and you're mind will be clearer' or 'sleep on it'. And those things do make a difference- it's not always run to the Bible because often our motive for running to the bible is to prove ourselves right.
Sometimes it's more complicated and I find myself in an uncomfortable situation for the sole purpose of revealing something in me that has to go. Whether it's my fault or someone else's, my behaviour- all our behaviours- is dictated by what is inside, what our true desires are, and what we hide in our hearts.
A little while ago my husband made a mistake and it made things very uncomfortable for us. I asked him a bit about it and his answer was 'I made a mistake'. I could risk an argument or content myself with that answer so I contented myself with that answer, wondering at how such a mistake could be made. Maybe a week later I had an opportunity to do something and- wouldn't you know- I made a mistake. It cost me a whole nights sleep (not kidding) and some other things I won't mention. When I finally got some sleep and had some time to ponder the Lord gently said, 'how could you make such a mistake?' and with my own words He condemned me. My only answer could be 'I made a mistake'; there's nothing more to it than that I could not be better informed than I was but I had still judged poorly and made a mistake.
I had to smile that the INCREDIBLY merciful way God taught me that but also I had to marvel at His way of giving me my desire.
One of my desires when it comes to my husband is that I reverence him the way the Lord wants me to. It ties into these verses:
The heart of her husband doth safely
trust in her, so that he shall have no need of
spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the
days of her life.
Proverbs 31:11-12
and
Nevertheless let everyone of you in
particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her
husband.
Ephesians 5:33
So while my husband may not know the things that go on in my head, God does and He knows what I really truly desire and He is bringing me about to accomplish that desire even though it puts me in uncomfortable situations.
God can and will use our mistakes for our own benefit- if we let Him.
These are those little things that show us God is real and that He cares.
I made a mistake in my own leadership recently and so my mind has been turned on to leadership.
Though I've been hurt by leaders before, I feel more keenly now more than ever the pain a leader can bring to those that are following them.
I was recently told by someone that something had happened in their life partially because 'those who should have been there weren't'. That phrase still strikes me a month later because I am looking at someone who, though their leaders were not the culprits, was harmed by their leadership.
I've thought on my own actions along side those of certain leaders in my life and realized how sometimes my actions were dictated and taken in despair because of what that leader was (or was not) doing.
Inevitably I've really truly begun to see the gravity of leadership- especially in Spiritual matters.
The most challenging part is that the small things matter the most and make the biggest difference.
As one who is under authority I will say that the most painful thing for me is when I am trying my best, working hard, my heart is right with what I know but I happen to be erring and the leader does not say anything or treats my mistakes with contempt and ridicule. I will say that most of the time my feelings get hurt by someone else (leader or not) is when they don't deal with me directly and tell me something that I am missing. It makes me feel like they don't like me enough to tell me, they think my heart is in the wrong place, or they don't care about what I'm doing.
As one who is in authority I will say that the hardest thing for me (and probably the majority of leaders) is to see those under me doing things that hurt others and themselves and though I warn and warn and warn against it, they make no changes and have to deal with the repercussions.
Even though our leaders hurt us and aren't always right, we are responsible for our actions.
Recently someone keeps shooting (figuratively) at me. I'm not going to lie, it really hurts. As I've pondered it, God has brought me to my own actions and my own thoughts. He's reminded me of the things I know through experience. He's shown me what those shots reveal about me.
As a man thinketh in his heart so is he and I've seen, in my criticisms of this person that I am guilty of the same things but in a different way.
As a man thinketh in his heart so is he and I've seen, in my criticisms of this person that I am guilty of the same things but in a different way.
While these things are particularly painful, I see God's hand in them, strengthening me and molding me. I'm not sure this person is right in what they are doing but it's not up to me to justify or condemn them. I can only look at my reaction to it. I am trying to humble myself through it, learn from it, and maybe God will have mercy and turn it from me.
While we must be discreet in our thoughts and actions toward our leaders, the leaders must be aware that their actions and words will have an effect no matter what their motives are for the way they act.
It's obvious that mistakes happen but what will heal and build trust is the reaction toward those mistakes. Leaders with the best motives will make mistakes and I believe God is merciful and will give those leaders the chance to prove that their heart was right despite their actions.
That's not to say that the damage will not be great and take a long time to heal.
I do believe, from my experience, that if your heart is right that God will teach you in a smaller lesson than a bigger one. I think sometimes big lessons come in when you need a heart change and a behavioural change.
And back to where I began- I'm grateful for God's leadership. I'm grateful I can rely on Him to lead me exactly where I need to go and point my thoughts in the right direction. It's hard to be heavenly minded when you live in this world and are constantly bombarded by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Still, God is faithful and He will lead you to what's right.
While we must be discreet in our thoughts and actions toward our leaders, the leaders must be aware that their actions and words will have an effect no matter what their motives are for the way they act.
It's obvious that mistakes happen but what will heal and build trust is the reaction toward those mistakes. Leaders with the best motives will make mistakes and I believe God is merciful and will give those leaders the chance to prove that their heart was right despite their actions.
That's not to say that the damage will not be great and take a long time to heal.
I do believe, from my experience, that if your heart is right that God will teach you in a smaller lesson than a bigger one. I think sometimes big lessons come in when you need a heart change and a behavioural change.
And back to where I began- I'm grateful for God's leadership. I'm grateful I can rely on Him to lead me exactly where I need to go and point my thoughts in the right direction. It's hard to be heavenly minded when you live in this world and are constantly bombarded by the world, the flesh, and the devil. Still, God is faithful and He will lead you to what's right.
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