My posts have been fewer and further in between nowadays. I wish it wasn't the case but it's been busy around my home. Maybe not so much busy as much as my husband has been working a lot so I've had more to do around home.
It's been almost a year since my husband started the job he currently has. We've been going and going for a whole year and now we're tired and really need a vacation.
I find myself listless and disinterested. Everything I love to do I don't have the energy and mind power to do it. It may also be the heat, but I really think I'm just tired and would really like a break.
I am a Junior Church teacher. It's like nursery time only more structured. I have children 2-4 years old and the 4 year olds will be moving into the main service when they are five.
Every Sunday, before the evening service, my pastor meets with all the teachers in the church. He's asked us to share our personal testimony, specifically when we submitted to serving the Lord, in the upcoming meetings. The purpose of this, is so that we can see the Lord's work in each other's lives and so that the children we are teaching can learn, grow, and realize that God is real to their teachers.
I've been thinking about it and I thought I'd share it on here:
I was saved as a very young child. I was probably 5 or 6 years old. I don't remember my age but I have clear and certain memories of the night of my salvation.
The months prior to my salvation I remember being scared of the night. I was scared to sleep. I knew that there was a possibility that I could wake up dead. I was terrified of that.
It was a constant battle in my mind every night.
One evening my parent's had a bible study in our house. A man came and in the course of the bible study he either promoted a false doctrine or said something blasphemous.
My father does not tolerate that.
Well, an argument ensued and I remember my father demanding the man leave our house.
The situation left myself and my sister rather shaken. When dad tucked us into bed that night we asked him about the man and his errors. Our dad explained the things the man had said and told us the error of his beliefs, he then started talking about salvation.
I knew I wasn't saved and that terrified me.
I accepted the Lord as my Saviour that night.
The months of being terrified of death ended that night for good.
Praise the Lord!
So I went on, preserved by God, just living my life- going to church, doing family devotions.
For the most part I was a luke-warm Christian with strong beliefs but no action.
I knew I needed to read my bible and pray but I didn't. I knew how to live right but I just did what I wanted.
My family flitted from church to church and, for a while, we were very spiritually dead.
I grew up very independent, very proud, and very headstrong. I did whatever I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted.
My family eventually got involved with a man named Scott Line.
He preached like we had not heard before. It was actual bible preaching. We had never been fed like that in our lives. He preached hard on sin, he preached passages we'd never really heard preached on before, he preached about the God that is a consuming fire.
We had not heard stuff like that before.
Our spirit revived.
One Sunday he preached heavily against pride.
I felt the Lord's hand heavy on me that day. I remember a burning sensation in my chest. I knew I was full of pride. It was not necessarily the pride that causes you to think that you're better than everyone. It was the pride that caused me to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to. It was the pride that caused me to think I was in control of my life and that I could decide things for myself.
After the sermon I went outside and sat on the grass.
I thought about my pride. If I wanted something, I got it, if I wanted to do something I did it. I wanted what I wanted. I was self possessed.
I gave that up to God that Sunday. I apologized for my pride and I let it go.
That was when I submitted to serving the Lord. When I stopped serving myself.
I have no been perfect at it. There have been long periods since then where I've just stopped reading my bible and praying. God is faithful, though, He keeps working on me. I don't want to leave God's side. I'm never happier than when I am close to God and doing right. I don't understand how I can easily forget it sometimes and leave off serving Him.
Slowly God has stripped me of my pride. A lot of it left as I got into the Word and it worked in my life, correcting my opinion of myself, and putting me in my place. Other things, things I grew up doing, thinking, and so on had to be purged slowly, repeatedly sometimes, and systematically.
I realize now that God didn't just throw the whole book at me at once. He had to purge one thing before the next thing could go. There are things I can let go now that I couldn't even a year ago. I wasn't ready, I didn't know better, and God knew that.
If I could only express the gentleness of God.
I hope this is in some way a blessing to you.
God bless!
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