Not So Social Media

I've been writing this post over the last few days, rereading, editing, forbearing publishing because the Lord has been working on my heart about it.
This morning as I prayed about this blog and my ministry here I realized that it's time to delete the Instagram account for this page. I'm actually not sorry to let it go, I find the 'culture' of Instagram to be rather unfriendly- even amongst believers. I would, however, like to say thank you to some of my supporters during my four month time as @biblebelievingpreaching. I met some great, God fearing people and I'm thankful for that at least. It is time to say goodbye though, God is not a supporter of me on Instagram, no matter what I've posted.
This whole cleansing myself of Instagram started about a month ago when I submitted to a suggestion of the Lord to delete my main Instagram account. I had that particular account for about four years. It was the account I would use to follow everyone I knew and then some. I allowed anyone I knew to follow me and I would use it to interact with people once I had left Facebook. After making the decision to leave Instagram I posted a 'I'm deleting this account' picture and deleted the account first thing the next morning.
(I must admit that I still have one Instagram account that I use at the request of my sister-in-law. I post multiple pictures and videos of my son for her and my mother-in-law every day. One lives in California and the other in Oregon so we do not get to see them often. I do not follow anyone except them and I will never allow anyone but immediate family members follow me on this account)

Deleting my main Instagram account meant that I am basically social media free (I have a twitter account that I hardly go on and I don't follow anyone I know except my husband and father). My husband and I both purged ourselves of Facebook in January of this year and we're very happy we did.

The one downside to getting rid of social media is, of course, the ties you cut- some permanently. I have many relatives in the Philippines that I would not have gotten to know as I did except through Facebook and Instagram. I have co-workers who I was once close with who I will likely never meet or speak to again because our only source of communication has been severed (we were never that close apparently). I won't get to see when another former classmate gets married, has children, or does something amazing. These things do make me a little sad but I've come to realize that on social media, the bad outweigh the good.

Please note: I am not writing a new, unheard of epiphany. I'm pretty sure everything I write here has been said by countless people before me. I am recounting my own experience on social media based on my personality, outlook, beliefs, and the way God deals with me. You, as a different person with different dealings, and different strengths may not agree with anything I say. If social media is a blessed endeavor of yours, I am happy for you. Please do not think I have anything against people who use social media.

I do not believe God would like me to leave off interacting on Instagram and Facebook because of sin. I know that there is always sin involved and temptations I would not otherwise have, but I do not believe it was a great source of sin for me. I do believe He suggested I delete it so that I could be closer to Him. I know I could have kept the account and been okay with the Lord, however, I know our relationship would not be what it could be. I know a few people who have Facebook and Instagram and it does not affect them like it did me, I certainly won't judge or fault anyone for being on social media.

All things are lawful unto me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but I will not be brought

under the power of any.

1 Corinthians 6:12

All things are lawful for me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but all things edify not.

1 Corinthians 10:23

I do not believe social media is sinful but I believe it does us more harm than good.

Looking back over my entire experience with interactive internet sites and apps kind of depresses me.
In high school I had MSN Messenger and and Asian Avenue page. MSN was a huge time waster, it led to a lot of stupidity, and some of the worst pain I went through growing up happened on MSN. Asian Avenue made me feel more isolated then ever and people used it to bully me very badly. I was well rid of them when the time came and I am well rid of Facebook and Instagram now.

One of the biggest reasons I believe God had me leave Facebook and Instagram was that they were hindering my relationships with others.
Ironic isn't it?
For one thing I felt I could not be myself on those accounts. When I think about the root of this feeling I come to the conclusion that I was uncomfortable with most of the people I allowed to follow me/were friends with. Maybe I doubted their sincerity or loyalty, maybe I thought my posts were unworthy, I don't know, but I do know that I cared about what certain people thought and it effected what I posted and what I said about my posts. This just made me sad and a little bitter. Since I don't have anything to post anything on, I'm not bothered by these things anymore. I feel very free and confident in who I am with the people I surround myself by.
Another thing was I felt like I did not have real friends. While most of the people who followed me were my friends (or had once been my friends) I hated that I was being followed so people could 'see' what was going on with me. If you are my friend then be my friend. I don't want to use social media as a medium for friendship. It's like my son eating the frosting off a cupcake and leaving the actual cake. He eats all the extra good stuff but leaves the substance. People who really care will show their concern by being physically present- not clicking a button or typing out some words. That goes the same for me- I have to hold myself accountable to be a true friend.
Something else that hindered my relationships was that I felt like I was being told stories that were not entirely true. I only had to spend five minutes with one family to see that the whole story they were projecting on Fakebook was not reality. Lots of people post pictures like 'look what I have, look what my child has, look how happy we are, look what we're doing, eating, seeing, being'. That did not help any of my friendships at all. Often it made me feel inferior to people and it made me want more of those things for myself. It was especially difficult when I'd see families doing fun things together while my husband spent the entire summer working. Envy, ingratitude, covetousness, would rise up in me more often than not. Covetousness is my besetting sin, I have to stay away from everything that causes it in me.
Last thing- other people's opinions. While I agree, we all have the right to our own opinion and beliefs, I don't care to hear or see anything that is not true, especially regarding God, the Bible, and world events. A blog like this is one thing- you don't have to come here if you don't want to. On Facebook or Instagram, it can cause real trouble to block/unfriend/unfollow someone who continually posts things that hurt/alarm/irritate/anger you. One 'friend' on Facebook shared an article that had ten reasons why the writer didn't want children. I whole heartedly disagreed with everything she said but I could read it and not mind that it was posted because it had nothing to do with truth- just selfishness (and it was interesting to read about how people who don't want children think.)
On the other hand, I had a friend, for example, who supports the Palestinians. I, obviously, do not. She would post copious outdated videos, slanted articles, and her own opinions based on lies propagated by liberal media. As much as I loved her, this made me angry at her and I wound up unfollowing her on Facebook. I do care about her and want to know what's going on with her but my feelings on that situation are so strong I will not allow the other side in front of my eyes. Call that closed minded if you want but remember who God's people are.
I have relatives that hate God. While I love them and pray for them, I hated seeing their anti-God articles, blasphemous posts, and hate speeches in my news feed. I can't change that they hate God, but I  will not tolerate seeing satanic garbage on my phone/ipad/computer in my own home where God is the Master.

A few more things-
Last month one of my family members said that she was frustrated that many of our family members are friends with her on Facebook but never interact with her. She said most of them never like her pictures, wish her a happy birthday or anything. I'm sure it's not intentionally malicious or anything, maybe they don't see her posts or never scroll through their news feed. Whatever the reason, it bugs her. I'm sure it colours her opinions of people at family reunions and puts a damper on those relationships.
I don't have Facebook, so it can't bug me or hinder my relationships.
A few weeks ago yet another family member told me that while scrolling through her feed she noticed that one of her neighbors had a party. As she looked through the pictures she noticed that all her neighbors had been invited except her and her family. That's terrible. Personally, I would have a hard time working through that and having grace with that person.
All these things make me very glad I left off interacting on social media. I'd rather not know I'm being left out.

Back to these verses:

All things are lawful unto me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but I will not be brought

under the power of any.

1 Corinthians 6:12

Instagram and Facebook are all well and good and available for us- with God's blessing. However, if you find yourself being brought under its power, you'd best get off.

Being brought under the power of social media includes but it not limited to:

-Putting it before God

-Spending too much time on it

-Wanting to go on it during inappropriate times- at church, dinner, during a conversation, etc.

-Feeling the need to 'creep' on other people's pages

-Finding your feelings towards certain people changing because of their posts

-Becoming 'obsessed' with certain people

-Feeling bound to 'follow' someone based on your relationship with them even though they post inappropriate things you'd rather not see

-Finding yourself gossiping about the posts you read
-Finding yourself judging other people for things you have no business knowing
-Being effected by other people's posts to the point you feel dissatisfied with your life
Beware: if it is controlling you, you are under it's power.

All things are lawful for me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but all things edify not.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Most of this post is dedicated to how social media does not edify. I'll summarize them for you:
-Seeing/reading posts/memes/pictures that are inappropriate and ungodly
-stirring up covetousness, anger, or envy
-preventing you from having real relationships with others
-general time wasting
-needing lots of 'likes' to feel validated
-yet another place try and keep a good testimony

This is just my experience on Facebook and Instagram. Maybe you have another, totally opposite experience. I'm glad for you, I really am.
If you sort of see my point but aren't totally convinced one way or another, get off social media for a few days and see what that does for you. If you miss it terribly and you're itching to get back, you are under it's power.

I hope this was a help to you in some way.

Five Years

Today is my husband's and my fifth anniversary.

My father-in-law performed the ceremony on August 15th, 2010

I've reflected a lot on our marriage over the last few months. As I've reflected, the things that I have been most thoughtful about are the vows we made on that day before God.

That day is a blur to me. I remember bits and pieces of it but the most important part- the vow- doesn't play back in my head. It's unfortunate but fortunately Michael and I discussed what we wanted our marriage to be long before we ever said 'I do', and also I have a copy of the vow we made.

I intend to stand by Michael in sickness, health, poverty, wealth, through children, through family, through the world, through death, through life, through everything 'as long as we both shall live'.
When I said 'I do', I meant it.

The marital 'I do' are not light words. You have given yourself up by saying them. Everything you want, think, say, do now effects your marriage. You can either work selflessly toward 'I do' or selfishly against it.
'I do' is not the end of the story. 'I do' does not mean you have it right. 'I do' is a world of challenges that yields one of earthly life's greatest rewards.
'I do' does not mean it's done. It means it's just beginning.

I think most marriages fail because people say 'I do' but don't bother putting effort into really thinking through those things mentioned above. They do not realize that 'I do' is a vow of selflessness. It is not about making yourself happy, it is about what you can do for the other person. (Please note- I recognize that many people who were married, still wish to be married, but can't because their spouse destroyed their marriage through adultery and the like- I am not talking about these situations.) 

If I want to live with my husband happily until we die, there are things I need to do.
For instance:
Michael and I came together because of the bible. Our relationship was born out of mutual interest in and love for the scripture. We decided, before we met each other, to live by the Word, and thus our relationship was first built on the Word, and now our marriage is built on the Word. The fact that our marriage would be founded on biblical principals never needed to be said. It is something we've always known and it is the standard we hold each other accountable to. 

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own

husbands, as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:23

How can I expect my marriage to last if I don't obey that verse?

Nevertheless let every one of you in

particular so love his wife even as himself;

and the wife see that she reverence her

husband.

Ephesians 5:33

Reverencing my husband means treating him with respect. It means I do not complain about him to our child and others, I do not give him attitude, I do not take my mood out on him, and so on.

Submitting myself and being reverent toward my husband are two ways I put my marriage vow into practice and prove it's worth to me- it is putting my feelings aside to treat my husband the way I am commanded to.

It is not natural to be submissive and reverent- especially in a marriage as you get to know each other.

Familiarity breeds contempt- that's where God's grace comes in.
While submission is not an easy thing and reverence does not come naturally to me, my vow before God constrains me to get those parts of my life under control. If I let myself do what I please, my marriage would be in shambles because what I please has nothing to do with submission and reverence. I take my marriage vow seriously and I work daily to make my marriage work.

Recently, my husband and I had to work through an issue we were having. It was something that would come up every few months and finally it came to a point where it needed to be settled once and for all. We had some pretty fierce arguments about it and, when we had what was to be the final battle about it I felt like I could never forgive him.
I was furious in a way I'd never been before. Then I remembered that I promised to love Michael. 'Charity never faileth' (1 Corinthians 13) charity is God, charity is love in action.
When I remembered my promise to love Michael I had to stop and really think about my actions and emotions. I realized that I either love myself more than him or I love him more than myself. Happy marriages are not made of two people who love themselves more than they love each other. I also had to realize that I love God most of all. If I tried to solve this problem using my own love toward Michael I would fail. I needed supernatural love- charity.
I couldn't think about what made me so angry but what I did do was go to God in prayer. What I had learned was that I could not deal with this on my own, in my flesh, or in my spirit; it made me so angry I couldn't stand it.
When I went to God I just asked Him to help me do what I was supposed to do. I asked for grace, strength, and an attitude change. I asked God to help me love Michael- that's kind of a funny request isn't it?
You know, God changed my heart the instant I was done praying.
I couldn't submit to Michael, I was too angry at him for that, but I could- and did- submit to God and He took care of my issue with Michael. 

What wound up happening was I was able to apologize, I was able to forgive, I was able to tell Michael my entire side, and we've resolved it once and for all.
This giant weed in our garden was pulled out and destroyed.
I tell that story to say this: my marriage vow helped me overcome my flesh. Remembering it helped me when I failed. Our marriage vows are not for show. They are real promises meant to aid us in life.

We've changed a lot in five years of marriage but what has not changed is the vow we made exactly five years ago. That is the beauty of marriage, you grow older, move, change, but your purpose remains the same. I'm so thankful I have something to look back on, to remind me of why we came together, to give me strength to do what is right.
God is so good!

Salvation and Submission- My Personal Testimony

My posts have been fewer and further in between nowadays. I wish it wasn't the case but it's been busy around my home. Maybe not so much busy as much as my husband has been working a lot so I've had more to do around home.
It's been almost a year since my husband started the job he currently has. We've been going and going for a whole year and now we're tired and really need a vacation.
I find myself listless and disinterested. Everything I love to do I don't have the energy and mind power to do it. It may also be the heat, but I really think I'm just tired and would really like a break.

I am a Junior Church teacher. It's like nursery time only more structured. I have children 2-4 years old and the 4 year olds will be moving into the main service when they are five.
Every Sunday, before the evening service, my pastor meets with all the teachers in the church. He's asked us to share our personal testimony, specifically when we submitted to serving the Lord, in the upcoming meetings. The purpose of this, is so that we can see the Lord's work in each other's lives and so that the children we are teaching can learn, grow, and realize that God is real to their teachers.

I've been thinking about it and I thought I'd share it on here:

I was saved as a very young child. I was probably 5 or 6 years old. I don't remember my age but I have clear and certain memories of the night of my salvation.
The months prior to my salvation I remember being scared of the night. I was scared to sleep. I knew that there was a possibility that I could wake up dead. I was terrified of that.
It was a constant battle in my mind every night.
One evening my parent's had a bible study in our house. A man came and in the course of the bible study he either promoted a false doctrine or said something blasphemous.
My father does not tolerate that.
Well, an argument ensued and I remember my father demanding the man leave our house.
The situation left myself and my sister rather shaken. When dad tucked us into bed that night we asked him about the man and his errors. Our dad explained the things the man had said and told us the error of his beliefs, he then started talking about salvation.
I knew I wasn't saved and that terrified me.
I accepted the Lord as my Saviour that night.
The months of being terrified of death ended that night for good.
Praise the Lord!
So I went on, preserved by God, just living my life- going to church, doing family devotions.
For the most part I was a luke-warm Christian with strong beliefs but no action.
I knew I needed to read my bible and pray but I didn't. I knew how to live right but I just did what I wanted.
My family flitted from church to church and, for a while, we were very spiritually dead.
I grew up very independent, very proud, and very headstrong. I did whatever I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted.
My family eventually got involved with a man named Scott Line.
He preached like we had not heard before. It was actual bible preaching. We had never been fed like that in our lives. He preached hard on sin, he preached passages we'd never really heard preached on before, he preached about the God that is a consuming fire.
We had not heard stuff like that before.
Our spirit revived.
One Sunday he preached heavily against pride.
I felt the Lord's hand heavy on me that day. I remember a burning sensation in my chest. I knew I was full of pride. It was not necessarily the pride that causes you to think that you're better than everyone. It was the pride that caused me to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to. It was the pride that caused me to think I was in control of my life and that I could decide things for myself.
After the sermon I went outside and sat on the grass.
I thought about my pride. If I wanted something, I got it, if I wanted to do something I did it. I wanted what I wanted. I was self possessed.
I gave that up to God that Sunday. I apologized for my pride and I let it go.

That was when I submitted to serving the Lord. When I stopped serving myself.
I have no been perfect at it. There have been long periods since then where I've just stopped reading my bible and praying. God is faithful, though, He keeps working on me. I don't want to leave God's side. I'm never happier than when I am close to God and doing right. I don't understand how I can easily forget it sometimes and leave off serving Him.
Slowly God has stripped me of my pride. A lot of it left as I got into the Word and it worked in my life, correcting my opinion of myself, and putting me in my place. Other things, things I grew up doing, thinking, and so on had to be purged slowly, repeatedly sometimes, and systematically.
I realize now that God didn't just throw the whole book at me at once. He had to purge one thing before the next thing could go. There are things I can let go now that I couldn't even a year ago. I wasn't ready, I didn't know better, and God knew that.
If I could only express the gentleness of God.

I hope this is in some way a blessing to you.
God bless!