Not So Social Media

I've been writing this post over the last few days, rereading, editing, forbearing publishing because the Lord has been working on my heart about it.
This morning as I prayed about this blog and my ministry here I realized that it's time to delete the Instagram account for this page. I'm actually not sorry to let it go, I find the 'culture' of Instagram to be rather unfriendly- even amongst believers. I would, however, like to say thank you to some of my supporters during my four month time as @biblebelievingpreaching. I met some great, God fearing people and I'm thankful for that at least. It is time to say goodbye though, God is not a supporter of me on Instagram, no matter what I've posted.
This whole cleansing myself of Instagram started about a month ago when I submitted to a suggestion of the Lord to delete my main Instagram account. I had that particular account for about four years. It was the account I would use to follow everyone I knew and then some. I allowed anyone I knew to follow me and I would use it to interact with people once I had left Facebook. After making the decision to leave Instagram I posted a 'I'm deleting this account' picture and deleted the account first thing the next morning.
(I must admit that I still have one Instagram account that I use at the request of my sister-in-law. I post multiple pictures and videos of my son for her and my mother-in-law every day. One lives in California and the other in Oregon so we do not get to see them often. I do not follow anyone except them and I will never allow anyone but immediate family members follow me on this account)

Deleting my main Instagram account meant that I am basically social media free (I have a twitter account that I hardly go on and I don't follow anyone I know except my husband and father). My husband and I both purged ourselves of Facebook in January of this year and we're very happy we did.

The one downside to getting rid of social media is, of course, the ties you cut- some permanently. I have many relatives in the Philippines that I would not have gotten to know as I did except through Facebook and Instagram. I have co-workers who I was once close with who I will likely never meet or speak to again because our only source of communication has been severed (we were never that close apparently). I won't get to see when another former classmate gets married, has children, or does something amazing. These things do make me a little sad but I've come to realize that on social media, the bad outweigh the good.

Please note: I am not writing a new, unheard of epiphany. I'm pretty sure everything I write here has been said by countless people before me. I am recounting my own experience on social media based on my personality, outlook, beliefs, and the way God deals with me. You, as a different person with different dealings, and different strengths may not agree with anything I say. If social media is a blessed endeavor of yours, I am happy for you. Please do not think I have anything against people who use social media.

I do not believe God would like me to leave off interacting on Instagram and Facebook because of sin. I know that there is always sin involved and temptations I would not otherwise have, but I do not believe it was a great source of sin for me. I do believe He suggested I delete it so that I could be closer to Him. I know I could have kept the account and been okay with the Lord, however, I know our relationship would not be what it could be. I know a few people who have Facebook and Instagram and it does not affect them like it did me, I certainly won't judge or fault anyone for being on social media.

All things are lawful unto me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but I will not be brought

under the power of any.

1 Corinthians 6:12

All things are lawful for me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but all things edify not.

1 Corinthians 10:23

I do not believe social media is sinful but I believe it does us more harm than good.

Looking back over my entire experience with interactive internet sites and apps kind of depresses me.
In high school I had MSN Messenger and and Asian Avenue page. MSN was a huge time waster, it led to a lot of stupidity, and some of the worst pain I went through growing up happened on MSN. Asian Avenue made me feel more isolated then ever and people used it to bully me very badly. I was well rid of them when the time came and I am well rid of Facebook and Instagram now.

One of the biggest reasons I believe God had me leave Facebook and Instagram was that they were hindering my relationships with others.
Ironic isn't it?
For one thing I felt I could not be myself on those accounts. When I think about the root of this feeling I come to the conclusion that I was uncomfortable with most of the people I allowed to follow me/were friends with. Maybe I doubted their sincerity or loyalty, maybe I thought my posts were unworthy, I don't know, but I do know that I cared about what certain people thought and it effected what I posted and what I said about my posts. This just made me sad and a little bitter. Since I don't have anything to post anything on, I'm not bothered by these things anymore. I feel very free and confident in who I am with the people I surround myself by.
Another thing was I felt like I did not have real friends. While most of the people who followed me were my friends (or had once been my friends) I hated that I was being followed so people could 'see' what was going on with me. If you are my friend then be my friend. I don't want to use social media as a medium for friendship. It's like my son eating the frosting off a cupcake and leaving the actual cake. He eats all the extra good stuff but leaves the substance. People who really care will show their concern by being physically present- not clicking a button or typing out some words. That goes the same for me- I have to hold myself accountable to be a true friend.
Something else that hindered my relationships was that I felt like I was being told stories that were not entirely true. I only had to spend five minutes with one family to see that the whole story they were projecting on Fakebook was not reality. Lots of people post pictures like 'look what I have, look what my child has, look how happy we are, look what we're doing, eating, seeing, being'. That did not help any of my friendships at all. Often it made me feel inferior to people and it made me want more of those things for myself. It was especially difficult when I'd see families doing fun things together while my husband spent the entire summer working. Envy, ingratitude, covetousness, would rise up in me more often than not. Covetousness is my besetting sin, I have to stay away from everything that causes it in me.
Last thing- other people's opinions. While I agree, we all have the right to our own opinion and beliefs, I don't care to hear or see anything that is not true, especially regarding God, the Bible, and world events. A blog like this is one thing- you don't have to come here if you don't want to. On Facebook or Instagram, it can cause real trouble to block/unfriend/unfollow someone who continually posts things that hurt/alarm/irritate/anger you. One 'friend' on Facebook shared an article that had ten reasons why the writer didn't want children. I whole heartedly disagreed with everything she said but I could read it and not mind that it was posted because it had nothing to do with truth- just selfishness (and it was interesting to read about how people who don't want children think.)
On the other hand, I had a friend, for example, who supports the Palestinians. I, obviously, do not. She would post copious outdated videos, slanted articles, and her own opinions based on lies propagated by liberal media. As much as I loved her, this made me angry at her and I wound up unfollowing her on Facebook. I do care about her and want to know what's going on with her but my feelings on that situation are so strong I will not allow the other side in front of my eyes. Call that closed minded if you want but remember who God's people are.
I have relatives that hate God. While I love them and pray for them, I hated seeing their anti-God articles, blasphemous posts, and hate speeches in my news feed. I can't change that they hate God, but I  will not tolerate seeing satanic garbage on my phone/ipad/computer in my own home where God is the Master.

A few more things-
Last month one of my family members said that she was frustrated that many of our family members are friends with her on Facebook but never interact with her. She said most of them never like her pictures, wish her a happy birthday or anything. I'm sure it's not intentionally malicious or anything, maybe they don't see her posts or never scroll through their news feed. Whatever the reason, it bugs her. I'm sure it colours her opinions of people at family reunions and puts a damper on those relationships.
I don't have Facebook, so it can't bug me or hinder my relationships.
A few weeks ago yet another family member told me that while scrolling through her feed she noticed that one of her neighbors had a party. As she looked through the pictures she noticed that all her neighbors had been invited except her and her family. That's terrible. Personally, I would have a hard time working through that and having grace with that person.
All these things make me very glad I left off interacting on social media. I'd rather not know I'm being left out.

Back to these verses:

All things are lawful unto me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but I will not be brought

under the power of any.

1 Corinthians 6:12

Instagram and Facebook are all well and good and available for us- with God's blessing. However, if you find yourself being brought under its power, you'd best get off.

Being brought under the power of social media includes but it not limited to:

-Putting it before God

-Spending too much time on it

-Wanting to go on it during inappropriate times- at church, dinner, during a conversation, etc.

-Feeling the need to 'creep' on other people's pages

-Finding your feelings towards certain people changing because of their posts

-Becoming 'obsessed' with certain people

-Feeling bound to 'follow' someone based on your relationship with them even though they post inappropriate things you'd rather not see

-Finding yourself gossiping about the posts you read
-Finding yourself judging other people for things you have no business knowing
-Being effected by other people's posts to the point you feel dissatisfied with your life
Beware: if it is controlling you, you are under it's power.

All things are lawful for me, but all

things are not expedient: all things are

lawful for me, but all things edify not.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Most of this post is dedicated to how social media does not edify. I'll summarize them for you:
-Seeing/reading posts/memes/pictures that are inappropriate and ungodly
-stirring up covetousness, anger, or envy
-preventing you from having real relationships with others
-general time wasting
-needing lots of 'likes' to feel validated
-yet another place try and keep a good testimony

This is just my experience on Facebook and Instagram. Maybe you have another, totally opposite experience. I'm glad for you, I really am.
If you sort of see my point but aren't totally convinced one way or another, get off social media for a few days and see what that does for you. If you miss it terribly and you're itching to get back, you are under it's power.

I hope this was a help to you in some way.

He Giveth More Grace

My husband and I have been through the ringer this past summer.

He's been working non stop so I've been going and going without any breaks at all.

Yes, I am a stay-at-home-mom but we need breaks too.

As much as we love our children and enjoy being home with them, it's nice to sit down, eat a meal uninterrupted, not have to clean, not have to chase little ones around, not have to constantly correct a child, and not have to worry.

I have not had that at all for a while. I did get a nice lunch with my pastor's wife last week- we sat and talked for about four hours. That's been my only reprieve.

My husband has had it way worse, working and working, on his feet all day and all night, dealing with more than his share at the restaurant.

It's been grueling so far and August is showing signs of being even more busy than June and July.

I will not complain- I'd rather we be too busy to rest than one of us losing our health or something tragic.

In any case, it's times like these that, while it's difficult, you don't really consider it to be a trial.

When my pastor asks for prayer requests at church we hear all kinds of needs:

People desperately needing jobs

difficult pregnancies

crippling injuries

family issues

and so on, and you look at your prayer request: working too much, no time to rest, and you don't say anything because it's not bad compared to the needs of others.

It's been hard, these days, to catch me in a really good mood. My fatigue has made it harder for me to control my flesh and I've been very selfish, cranky, and contentious. A lot of these things happen inside and I am able to filter them before they come out, but still, the things that come up in my mind show me the depth of my depravity and selfishness.

It actually makes me really sad but it's an opportunity to learn.

Every second Saturday of the month our church goes to the Care Home and ministers to the old folks there. We sing hymns, read psalms, and socialize. Last time my pastor took favourites and a song was requested I had not heard since childhood: He Giveth More Grace.

It is a beautiful song, lyrically and musically, I choked up just singing it. I posted a picture with the words of two verses and the chorus on Instagram a few weeks ago:

So you see, it's absolutely biblical and incredibly comforting.

It occurred to me yesterday morning that, though I sing these songs and know the verses, I don't exactly 'cast all my care upon him'.
I mean, last year when my husband was out of a job for six months I was actively casting my care, establishing my faith, and singing these songs.
Right now, we are not dealing with a tragedy, we're not roughing it through poverty, we have good health but our labours have increased and we've reached the end of our 'hoarded resources'. Now is just a good time, as any, to cast our cares on him.
Jesus has been through these times- the people were always following him, he had no time to eat, his burden for the people was too great, he was tired and weary, constantly traveling- He knows what it is like.
These times, while they are not great trials that plague us, we are still pressed and tried. It is a small flame but it can still burn you.
What I'm learning is that these seemingly small hardships prove how deeply we rely on God. It is SO easy to rely on Him during big trials. Those are times we know we have to live by faith because there are often things we cannot see and do not understand. Right now, weeks become months of constant, unending labour and what was tiring at first has become exhausting and unbearable.
I did not realize it until Tuesday what a difficulty this has become and what a monster it had created in me. I've been complaining, in my mind, about all the things I've needed to do and all the extra things thrust on me since my husband is too busy to do them. I wonder what all the things rising up in me are coming from and I've realized I haven't relied on the Lord.
I've been reading, studying, praying, attending church, and worshiping God, but I haven't asked him for the strength to get us through this time.
Without voicing it inside or outside, I've relied on my strength to get me through the summer. I have not once asked God to take over and give me the grace, not only physically, but to mentally and Spiritually be able to deal with the exhaustion and the things that come with it.
Most of the things happening right now are out of our control. What we can control is how we handle them.

What I need to do is this:
Ask for forgiveness for complaining and being selfish
Acknowledge that I am not strong enough to carry these things on my own
Tell God what I find difficult
Give the difficulties I have over to God
When complaints rise up in me, give them to God

We have verses and songs, that are available to us but they aren't helpful unless we claim them. Until we realize that we need God in every kind day- good, okay, not great, terrible.
Well I've exhausted my store of endurance, my strength has failed, I've reached the end of my hoarded resources but my father's full giving has only begun.

Humble yourselves therefore under the

mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you

in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he

careth for you.

 Be sober, be vigilant; because your

adversary the devil, as a roaring lion,

walketh about, seeking whom he may

devour:

whom resist stedfast in the faith,

knowing that the same afflictions are

accomplished in your brethren that are in

the world.

But the God of all grace, who hath called

us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus,

after that e have suffered a while, make

you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

1 Peter 5:7-10

God uses the word 'all' there for a reason. Every single care we have, we can cast on Him. In the same vein, He mentions the devil, seeking whom he may destroy. If we hold on to our cares- small and great- our flesh will take over and the devil will destroy us. Whatever you have that is burdening you, give it to God, ask Him for the strength to endure it, and grace to handle it- He will grant you those things and more if you just 'humble yourself under the mighty hand of God'.

I hope this was a blessing and a help to you. I really hope it makes sense, I wrote this to get it off my chest and organize my thoughts.