He's been working non stop so I've been going and going without any breaks at all.
Yes, I am a stay-at-home-mom but we need breaks too.
As much as we love our children and enjoy being home with them, it's nice to sit down, eat a meal uninterrupted, not have to clean, not have to chase little ones around, not have to constantly correct a child, and not have to worry.
I have not had that at all for a while. I did get a nice lunch with my pastor's wife last week- we sat and talked for about four hours. That's been my only reprieve.
My husband has had it way worse, working and working, on his feet all day and all night, dealing with more than his share at the restaurant.
It's been grueling so far and August is showing signs of being even more busy than June and July.
I will not complain- I'd rather we be too busy to rest than one of us losing our health or something tragic.
In any case, it's times like these that, while it's difficult, you don't really consider it to be a trial.
When my pastor asks for prayer requests at church we hear all kinds of needs:
People desperately needing jobs
difficult pregnancies
crippling injuries
family issues
and so on, and you look at your prayer request: working too much, no time to rest, and you don't say anything because it's not bad compared to the needs of others.
It's been hard, these days, to catch me in a really good mood. My fatigue has made it harder for me to control my flesh and I've been very selfish, cranky, and contentious. A lot of these things happen inside and I am able to filter them before they come out, but still, the things that come up in my mind show me the depth of my depravity and selfishness.
It actually makes me really sad but it's an opportunity to learn.
Every second Saturday of the month our church goes to the Care Home and ministers to the old folks there. We sing hymns, read psalms, and socialize. Last time my pastor took favourites and a song was requested I had not heard since childhood: He Giveth More Grace.
It is a beautiful song, lyrically and musically, I choked up just singing it. I posted a picture with the words of two verses and the chorus on Instagram a few weeks ago:
So you see, it's absolutely biblical and incredibly comforting.
It occurred to me yesterday morning that, though I sing these songs and know the verses, I don't exactly 'cast all my care upon him'.
I mean, last year when my husband was out of a job for six months I was actively casting my care, establishing my faith, and singing these songs.
Right now, we are not dealing with a tragedy, we're not roughing it through poverty, we have good health but our labours have increased and we've reached the end of our 'hoarded resources'. Now is just a good time, as any, to cast our cares on him.
Jesus has been through these times- the people were always following him, he had no time to eat, his burden for the people was too great, he was tired and weary, constantly traveling- He knows what it is like.
These times, while they are not great trials that plague us, we are still pressed and tried. It is a small flame but it can still burn you.
What I'm learning is that these seemingly small hardships prove how deeply we rely on God. It is SO easy to rely on Him during big trials. Those are times we know we have to live by faith because there are often things we cannot see and do not understand. Right now, weeks become months of constant, unending labour and what was tiring at first has become exhausting and unbearable.
I did not realize it until Tuesday what a difficulty this has become and what a monster it had created in me. I've been complaining, in my mind, about all the things I've needed to do and all the extra things thrust on me since my husband is too busy to do them. I wonder what all the things rising up in me are coming from and I've realized I haven't relied on the Lord.
I've been reading, studying, praying, attending church, and worshiping God, but I haven't asked him for the strength to get us through this time.
Without voicing it inside or outside, I've relied on my strength to get me through the summer. I have not once asked God to take over and give me the grace, not only physically, but to mentally and Spiritually be able to deal with the exhaustion and the things that come with it.
Most of the things happening right now are out of our control. What we can control is how we handle them.
What I need to do is this:
Ask for forgiveness for complaining and being selfish
Acknowledge that I am not strong enough to carry these things on my own
Tell God what I find difficult
Give the difficulties I have over to God
When complaints rise up in me, give them to God
We have verses and songs, that are available to us but they aren't helpful unless we claim them. Until we realize that we need God in every kind day- good, okay, not great, terrible.
Well I've exhausted my store of endurance, my strength has failed, I've reached the end of my hoarded resources but my father's full giving has only begun.
It occurred to me yesterday morning that, though I sing these songs and know the verses, I don't exactly 'cast all my care upon him'.
I mean, last year when my husband was out of a job for six months I was actively casting my care, establishing my faith, and singing these songs.
Right now, we are not dealing with a tragedy, we're not roughing it through poverty, we have good health but our labours have increased and we've reached the end of our 'hoarded resources'. Now is just a good time, as any, to cast our cares on him.
Jesus has been through these times- the people were always following him, he had no time to eat, his burden for the people was too great, he was tired and weary, constantly traveling- He knows what it is like.
These times, while they are not great trials that plague us, we are still pressed and tried. It is a small flame but it can still burn you.
What I'm learning is that these seemingly small hardships prove how deeply we rely on God. It is SO easy to rely on Him during big trials. Those are times we know we have to live by faith because there are often things we cannot see and do not understand. Right now, weeks become months of constant, unending labour and what was tiring at first has become exhausting and unbearable.
I did not realize it until Tuesday what a difficulty this has become and what a monster it had created in me. I've been complaining, in my mind, about all the things I've needed to do and all the extra things thrust on me since my husband is too busy to do them. I wonder what all the things rising up in me are coming from and I've realized I haven't relied on the Lord.
I've been reading, studying, praying, attending church, and worshiping God, but I haven't asked him for the strength to get us through this time.
Without voicing it inside or outside, I've relied on my strength to get me through the summer. I have not once asked God to take over and give me the grace, not only physically, but to mentally and Spiritually be able to deal with the exhaustion and the things that come with it.
Most of the things happening right now are out of our control. What we can control is how we handle them.
What I need to do is this:
Ask for forgiveness for complaining and being selfish
Acknowledge that I am not strong enough to carry these things on my own
Tell God what I find difficult
Give the difficulties I have over to God
When complaints rise up in me, give them to God
We have verses and songs, that are available to us but they aren't helpful unless we claim them. Until we realize that we need God in every kind day- good, okay, not great, terrible.
Well I've exhausted my store of endurance, my strength has failed, I've reached the end of my hoarded resources but my father's full giving has only begun.
Humble yourselves therefore under the
mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you
in due time:
Casting all your care upon him; for he
careth for you.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your
adversary the devil, as a roaring lion,
walketh about, seeking whom he may
devour:
whom resist stedfast in the faith,
knowing that the same afflictions are
accomplished in your brethren that are in
the world.
But the God of all grace, who hath called
us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus,
after that e have suffered a while, make
you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
1 Peter 5:7-10
God uses the word 'all' there for a reason. Every single care we have, we can cast on Him. In the same vein, He mentions the devil, seeking whom he may destroy. If we hold on to our cares- small and great- our flesh will take over and the devil will destroy us. Whatever you have that is burdening you, give it to God, ask Him for the strength to endure it, and grace to handle it- He will grant you those things and more if you just 'humble yourself under the mighty hand of God'.
I hope this was a blessing and a help to you. I really hope it makes sense, I wrote this to get it off my chest and organize my thoughts.
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