I don't know how anyone regulates their lives. I'm not talking about biblical standards I'm talking about general things that keep us from having too many regrets and messes to clean up.
I started making rules for myself in high school- seriously too late if you ask me- but they helped me make better choices.
See, if I was approaching a situation that had similar characteristics to situations in the past, I'd go with the rule I set for that situation.
For example: I had a group of friends who were the 'cool' kids. We thought we were cool but I later found out everyone hated us (lol right?). Anyways, there were a lot of us girls and gossip and things would go around. My first year of high school- grade eight- was so traumatic for me and situation after situation would rise up.
I remember crying in the washroom one day and a few of my 'friends' found me. They asked what was wrong so I told them and I said, 'don't tell anyone'. They agreed. I had learned to tell people not to tell anyone because things that I thought were obvious secrets were not kept as secret.
A little while later a friend- this one was a real friend- came up and asked if I was okay. When I asked her why she asked she let it slip that the two who found me told her I had been crying.
Well, that started a huge thing but I came out of it and learned this: NEVER TELL A GIRL ANYTHING- even if you tell her not to tell anyone.
That became my number one rule through high school and it has carried me beyond.
I guess I'll start listing off some of my rules:
Please note- these are my rules for me, they may or may not apply to you. Take from them what you will.
1) Never, for any reason, for any purpose, tell anything to anyone who has yet to prove themselves trustworthy.
I've set this rule down for my husband as well- do not talk about personal things with any girl- relation or otherwise for any reason.
Girls talk. We talk about appropriate things, inappropriate things (for men to hear), very personal things, we just talk. In all the talking we lose our filters and run away with ourselves- especially if we're talking to someone we're close to.
I've made the mistake of telling people things I shouldn't have. This is just the reason my rule is to keep personal things personal. The only people I tell anything really personal to (besides my husband of course) is my pastor's wife and my sister. My pastor's wife can pray for whatever it is and my sister is my second best friend (after my husband) and she understands almost everything.
I could probably talk to a few more people but I don't want to find out the hard way that they are untrustworthy.
Keeping your thoughts and struggles (I'm talking about smaller ones) limited to a few people limits the damage they can possibly do to yourself and others.
Watch who you talk to. (By the way, men are exempt from this rule simply because I do not talk to them about personal things- it's immodest)
2) Never, for any reason, no matter how you feel, no matter how sorely you are tempted, do anything wrong to prove a point.
This took me a long time to learn and it is a huge rule to abide by.
Last October I was wronged by some family members. Instead of talking it through and dealing with it maturely I just left the conversation.
Instead of them realizing that they had done something wrong, I had to apologize to them for my rudeness and the point I was trying to make was never made known.
That was a big thing, but these things can happen on a small scale in everyday life too.
For instance, if my husband does something that angers me and, instead of talking rationally to him about it, I yell and make a scene, the whole reason I'm upset gets lost in a pointless argument. I'll just be branded as a contentious woman and he'll write me off as emotional and irrational.
If I calmly talk to him about the source of my anger, I will be heard and the peace will be kept.
3) Don't do anything you will regret.
Of course we do things we regret all the time. We try to keep ourselves from that as much as possible. What I'm talking about here is small things:
-Do daily devotions- this is rather a big one but it's a small thing that makes a huge difference in my day
-Always go with comfortable clothing- I always look frumpy but I don't care as long as I'm comfortable
-Go to the washroom when there is one close and convenient
-Always bring a bottle of water with you
-Bring a purse or make sure to wear something with pockets when you go to the park (I hate carrying things)
-Go to sleep when your body tells you to
-Don't listen to worldly music- I despise the current popular music but I have a soft spot for gangster rap like Eazy E, Ice Cube and that bunch. Even though I still like it, it is not good for me to listen to, I get really aggressive, impatient and hateful. If I listen to it at all, my testimony for that day is gone and I am always filled with regret.
Those are just a few things that I make sure to do to keep myself from regret and discomfort later on.
4) Never make definitive statements about yourself or something you're planning to do.
First part of this one: talking about yourself.
I try not to talk about myself. I do talk about things in my life, things I'm going through, need help with, and so on but I mean things like this: I'm a really good knitter, I'm a great cook, I like big words, I'm a prolific gardener, and things along that line. Something else I avoid is posting things on social media and writing 'this is so me' under them. Of course it depends on what it is- if its meant to be a joke then fine but serious things make you look foolish.
I avoid talking about myself like that. I always prove myself wrong anyways. There's nothing wrong with talking about things you enjoy doing or making your preferences known (politely) but building yourself up with your words only makes your fall hurt more.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and
let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:31
If I am a great knitter, I don't have to tell people about it, my work will show it. If I'm a good cook, my food will show it. We don't have to praise ourselves or lift ourselves up. Many times, those personality memes and articles are what we wish we were but are far from what we actually are.
Besides, as soon as you start talking about yourself like this I'm pretty sure people just tune you out. I tune people out. I'd rather get to know people by their actions and their words, not by what they say about themselves.
Last thing about this:
For out of the abundance of the
heart the mouth speaketh
Matthew 12:34b
If all you think about is yourself, you'll talk about yourself. If you're interested in winning souls, being a good testimony, and being the Lord's servant by serving others, your focus will be upward, then outward- it will never be inward.
This is not something I struggle with- at least I don't think I do- I made this a rule for me when I saw others doing it. I only know a few who do it now and they are not people I'd like to be like at all.
Next part- talking about something you're planning to do:
Last summer I was sure I was going to take my knitting and crocheting further by opening up an Etsy store. Guess what, I didn't do it. It's not because I'm lazy, lost interest or anything like that. It's because God worked on me and showed me it was not the right path for me.Of course, I told everybody I was opening one up and I did not enjoy explaining my change of mind to unsaved family members. To them it looks like I can't follow through, they don't understand my relationship with God.
That is a small example, but there are bigger ones to consider, especially concerning your testimony.
If you are prayerfully considering something, that is one matter, but to advertise before God has even given his permission is another matter entirely.
Guard what comes out of your mouth. Words make a world of difference.
Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou
knowest not what a day may bring forth.
Proverbs 27:1
5) Don't do anything you do not have peace with.
I struggle with this one. It ties into rule 4 about saying things you're not sure about. A lot of times our words can trap us into doing something we're not supposed to do or we don't want to do.
If you're set to do something and the Holy Spirit inside you is strongly opposing it, put a stop to it right away. It's better to disappoint people than to sin against God. Your relationship with Him outweighs any relationship on the earth.
6) Take your time and do it right
This applies from small things like knitting, crocheting, sewing, to preparing Sunday School crafts, and raising children and things like that.
I've wasted time and yarn simply because I did not take the time to count my stitches, place a stitch marker, or record my progress. The thing about crocheting and knitting is if you make a mistake, you may have spent an hour working on it, then you'll spend another hour backtracking, finding your mistake, unraveling, and yet another hour working to the place you were before you realized your mistake.That's three hours gone because of lack of attention, counting, and so on.
Now about a bigger issue- my son, the bible says:
but a child left to himself bringeth
his mother to shame.
Proverbs 29:15b
If I take the time now to train my son up right, it will be less heartache and trouble in the future. If I watch him play instead of playing with my phone, I'll be able to see the things I need to, get to know him, and correct him when need be.Doing thing the right way takes time, effort, and sacrifice but it is rewarding and more time efficient.
7) Do not do anything hastily.
Also, that the soul be without knowledge,
it is not good; and he that hasteth
with his feet sinneth.
Proverbs 19:2b
He that is slow to wrath is of great
understanding: but he that is hasty of
spirit exalteth folly
Proverbs 14:29
The thoughts of the diligent tend only to
plenteousness; but of every one that is
hasty only to want.
Proverbs 21:5
Seest thou a man that is hasty in his
words? there is more hope of a fool
than of him.
Proverbs 29:20
Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not
thine heart be hasty to utter any thing
before God: for God is in heaven, and thou
upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
Ecclesiastes 5:2
Just reading the above verses will show you that this rule is not at all like rule 6. This rule goes deeper, into how I say things, what I say, how I react, what makes me angry, what I buy, and so many more things. This rule has a lot to do with making decisions. I have never regretted sitting on a decision. I have always regretted being too quick to make a choice. Take your time and do the right thing.
There you have it, seven life rules that I *try* to abide by. This is not meant to be a spiritual list but of course there is a spiritual aspect to them- since I endeavor to be a spiritual person. I'll probably write out a list of Spiritual rules I abide by. Actually, I wouldn't call them spiritual rules but rules that help me walk with the Lord and keep me out of my flesh.
I hope this was helpful to you in some way.
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