Going Goings On

Hallooo!

I've really really tried to write a few times but it's really no use.
I'm very very annoyed at someone.
I've seriously had it with them.
They've completely lost me.
I used to think they were wise.
But now I think they're calculating, vindictive, and insufferable.

This really shouldn't effect my writing but the topic I have it in my heart to write about is too hard to write about without slipping in shots at this person.
So I guess it's just best not to write about it at all at the moment.

Yes, I should just shake it off and forget about this person but this person has a constant presence in my life and almost every time I see them my opinion of them just gets lower and lower.

Someone recently asked me what my favourite verse was and the first verse that came to my head was 'with good advice, make war' (Proverbs 18:20). It's one of my favourite verses because just flies in the face of everything you hear nowadays but it's not a favourite to the point I'll go around sharing it as my favourite verse.
Anyways, when I tried to think of another favourite verse to share all I could come up with was this one:

And I saw heaven opened, and behold

a white horse: and he that sat upon him

was called Faithful and True, and in

righteousness he doth judge and make

war.

Revelation 19:11

I really love this verse and I can't wait to see Jesus coming down to earth, trampling the grapes of wrath and reclaiming His kingdom- it's going to be great. But apparently I'm really into war verses right now and that tells me I'm in attack mode so I need to take my annoyance out on something.

Until then, I won't write about anything substantial- everything I try to write about turns into an attack on this person.

Anyway, we're moving.
Yet again and just over a year since we last moved. I'm really not interested in moving but whatever it has to get done.
We're moving from a big, spacious house with a big, spacious yard to a little cabin next door to the good old USA.
The new place is literally a cabin- all wood with delightful skylights scattered throughout the various rooms. It's very close to my work- which is great- and the beach. We were exploring a bit yesterday and came across a giant park just off the beach and maybe a ten minute walk from our new place.
I'm hoping to be able to run again since the dyke will be easier on my knees than cemement- I told my husband I want runners for my birthday (which is next week).
Even though it's an inconvenience to have to move (and with short notice) it seems to be perfect timing. All the privacy we once enjoyed at our current place was cut down last week and condos will be under construction going forward. We could hear the digger this morning when we were in bed.

So we're looking forward to the new place. It will be a big change since we're moving to a new municipality and we'll be further from family and church. We put a lot of prayer into whether or not we should take this place and we know it is the right choice.

At the moment that's all. Maybe I'll get my act together and be able to write a good post about something substantial.

Please pray for my friend Aikiki who lost her son in a very tragic and heart breaking way.

A Spoonful of Sugar

A belated merry Christmas and a very happy New Year!
I've been trying to write this post for a week and I think my problem is that I'm trying to explain something that's hard to explain.
I didn't get to write as much this year. There seemed to be lots of things in the way. Still I'm grateful for this blog- I love to write and I learn a lot from it.

I remember at the end of last year my heart was very full and happy. I was excited about the coming year. I described 2015 as difficult because my son cried the entire year and my husband spent most of the year working. That sounds like a cake walk now but I wouldn't go back to that for a second.
2016 was hard but hard like giving birth is hard.
After you have a child people ask what labour pain is like. I always say that it hurts but it's pain with a purpose. I cut my finger today and it's just a nagging pain I hope will heal soon. Labour pain brought my son into the world. 2016 was that kind of pain. Pain with a purpose. The kind that mercilessly and continuously attacks to the point you don't know if you can go on but you find it in you to keep going and as you do you start seeing things come out of you you never though possible.
My heart goes from full to empty almost daily but while that is the case there is peace that covers it all. Whatever is going on, whatever needs to get done, it's just stuff. I realized that life isn't hard- it's just life and the things you went through will carry you through the things you're going through. It's not one and done, it all goes together.
I realized that there are things that God just wants done. There is a place God wants you, there are things He expects of you, there are things He wants to bring out of you. Many times this year with different people in different places and different situations I saw myself as there for a purpose though often I had no idea what that purpose was. Somehow there were times I knew exactly what to do and more often then not it was at great personal sacrifice. It amazes me that God gives us the guidance we need and the strength to endure.
There were many times this year where I'd be doing something for my son- making him dinner or getting him ready to go to the park or going to get this so we can do that- and he would be fussing and complaining the entire time. Sometimes I would say, 'look! I'm doing this for you! I know its hard to wait but it will be fine, I promise! Just wait a few minutes!' It occurs to me that maybe I'm like that with God. I don't think I'm a complainy person- it's passive aggressive and I hate that- but I will cry and I will fuss and I will straight up ask God to change things. And I think about it now and I wonder if in my prayers and supplications I'm doing what my son does to me and God is thinking 'I'm doing this for you, your discomfort is temporary but it will end soon, we just need to go through this to get to something better'. This is all temporary and it will all burn. The only things that matter are the things we can take to heaven and only God can give what can go from this life into eternity.
The things He puts you through are for you. He wants us to bear eternal fruit and lay up treasure in heaven, He wants to give us the opportunity to get blessed by serving Him. This kind of thing doesn't happen when we live comfortably.
I used to think there were happy times and sad times. Now I know that if you are right with God and in His will, there are hard things and easy things, but you're never 'unhappy'. I realized that you take the good things when you can and deal with the bad things the best you can. Situations will make you happy and sad but applying those to any situation really doesn't help. The only thing that does help is knowing that you're in God's will, that He's taking care of you, and that He has you in His hand.
I suppose that sort of sums up part of my thoughts from 2016. There are a lot of things I've learned that I am not posting about today but maybe one day I will have the words to share them.
It's just amazing how God works. It's never big, grand gestures. It's always little subtle things that make the biggest difference when it counts.

I didn't do a thanksgiving post but I did think about what I am most grateful for this past year. This past year I am most grateful for my parents.
I know people who are caring and try to help as much as they can. It is rare though for anyone to really go out of their way to take care of you. My parents- and my whole family, really- have really taken good care of us. The problems we have, they treat them like their own problems. They've taken so much on themselves for us and I really can't describe my gratitude to them for that.

My favourite thing this year has been starting work. It was really hard and depressing at first but inevitably, I've seen that it's allowed me to put into practice things I didn't realize I had learned. I know it's a necessary thing that I go back to work and that in itself would give me peace about it but God has given it to me with a spoonful of sugar. There are many things I'm blessed by at work- the job itself, the clothes, and most of all the people I work with.

Well, that's all for now, if it made any sense. I finally had to give up trying to structure a post and just write my thoughts as they came.
It's been very busy for us but I hope I can write more. I have a lot to write but there is so much to be done. Thank you for bearing with me and for coming back and reading my posts. I hope they are a blessing and a help.

Thou therefore endure hardness, as a

good soldier of Jesus Christ.

2 Timothy 2:3