I am back after over a year of not writing.
Many months ago I paused to consider the place I had come to and the way I had gotten there.
First off, all but one manager at my place of work quit. I was a key-holder then suddenly and out of necessity I was a manager of sorts. There were two of us and for two weeks at least I was over full time working when I had been part time before. Then there were three of us and eventually four, and finally five but I never stopped working full time.
At the same time as there were only two of us managing, my husband, son and I had to move. It was our second move in 5 months and it was hard.
In the midst of all that, I was finding it hard to write. There were a few reasons for this: I was having trouble gathering my thoughts into a coherent statement which made me frustrated, then lazy, then disinterested. Someone made a few passive aggressive and very negative remarks about blogging which strongly discouraged me. Finally, something horrible happened. And I had to put writing away and focus on life.
This was always meant to be a spiritual blog. It was meant for me to share the things God has shown me through everyday life. Maybe I got away from that. I won't go back to see (forgetting the things which are behind after all (Philippians 3:13)) but I'll go forward striving for that and see where it takes me.
So here I am, home again, after over a year of full time work. I am working two, occasionally three days a week, and I am homeschooling my now five-year-old. My home is one big project. After moving in a pinch, working full time, and taking care of my child, our home is one big tangled mess of organizational/ purging needs. I spend my days homeschooling, organizing, cleaning.
I am back to the drawing board of life. My son is at that stage where shaping his character and habits are the foremost part of my parenting, whereas before it was just keeping him entertained and away from danger. I like my days to flow smoothly but they rarely do and I chastise myself for not being more disciplined or for not realizing that one thing will lead to another. I tell myself, I know now, tomorrow will be better, or next week I'll apply what I've learned.
No matter what my follies, my boys are always fed, our home is always relatively tidy, and my son is learning to read.
Though writing has been calling to me for weeks now, tonight is the first night I knew I had the mental energy to actually sit down and do it.
So lets see where this takes us!
Until next time~
