Be Diligent

***This is completely separate from the post: Please pray for Davey and Weston Blackburn who just lost a wife and mother. She was shot by a burglar in their home. It's a terrible tragedy and they need your prayers. You can read the story here***

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One of the truest and easiest ways to show that you love someone is to value what they value.

Joseph's brothers did not love their father so they sold his favourite son into slavery. Later on in the story when Jacob's next favourite son Benjamin could have been taken away, his sons proved themselves and their love by sacrificing themselves to protect the one their father loved. 

If I want to show my husband that I love him I must value the things he values whether it be making sure the cats stay off the counter or being hospitable to his family when they stay over.

Our relationship with God is no different. 

The lesson plan I'm following in my bible class briefly covered David and his heart after God's. As a child I had no idea what that meant. I thought maybe David was a stickler for doing right and had lots of faith. 

Now that I'm an adult I've learned through study that David valued what God valued. 

In 1 Samuel 17 David is convincing Saul that he can defeat Goliath. In the course of his speech he tells Saul that he fought a lion and a bear in order to protect his father's flock. His job was to protect those sheep, so he protected them with his life. 

Before this ever convinced Saul of anything, it had a twofold effect in David's relationship with God.
It effected David's faith in God:

David said moreover, The Lord that

delivered me out of the paw of the lion,

and out of the paw of the bear, he will

deliver me out of the hand of this

Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go,

and the Lord be with thee.

1 Samuel 17:37

David had no problems going up against a 9ft 9in giant because he had already seen the deliverance of the Lord.

As David's faith in God was strengthened, God's trust in David was strengthened. 

I really think that Jesse, David's father, would have been disappointed but okay with losing a lamb to a lion and a bear. Better a lamb than the life of his son. God, however, used that situation to prove David and see what he would do- would he obey his father's instructions to KEEP the sheep or would he keep himself. David valued what his father valued and when no one else saw that, God did.
This was the difference between Saul and David: Saul was made king to fight Israel's battles whether it be against an army or against a giant. Instead, Saul cowered in his tent and tried to bribe others to do his job for him. Saul kept himself. David, as the servant of the Lord, did what the Lord wanted despite the circumstances and the enemy ahead. David valued the name of the Lord more than he valued himself. 

This explains why Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18 does this:

And Jonathan stripped himself of the

robe that was upon him, and gave it to

David, and his garments, even to his sword,

and to his bow, and to his girdle.

1 Samuel 18:3

Jonathan was the rightful heir to the kingdom. As great as Jonathan was he stood with his father in the tent as Goliath taunted them for 40 days. Jonathan, seeing David's actions, realized that this was the true leader, this was the true heir, this was the true king. As Jonathan gave his princely clothes and weapons to David he gave up his own place as heir and submitted to the Lord's will, that David would be king instead of him.

Back up to 1 Samuel 16 when Samuel is looking to anoint one of Jesse's seven sons. Except there are eight sons and no one bothered to call the youngest. 

This is the absolute first time David appears in scripture yet God's testimony of him is that he has a heart after God's own. 

This tells us one very important thing- David was diligent in his business. On the fields, day after day night after night, David watched and protected his father's sheep and when it was all quiet, David sang songs to the Lord.

David was about two things: obeying his father, and worshipping God.

Then answered one of the servants, and

said, Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the

Bethlemhemite, that is cunning in playing,

and a mighty valiant man, and a man of

war, and prudent in matters, and a comely

person, and the Lord is with him.

1 Samuel 16:18

David didn't promote himself, the Lord promoted him. David's reputation, even as a shepherd with no reputation in his own family, went before him because God says this:

Seest thou a man diligent in his

business? he shall stand before kings; he

shall not stand before mean men.

Proverbs 22:29

God blesses our obedience, diligence, and worship.

So David was diligent and faithful. 

Here is a young man, who when God came, was right where he was supposed to be. He never promoted himself or exalted himself. After playing his harp for Saul, he went right back to watching the sheep.

The only reason he was in the position to hear Goliath's words was because his father had sent him there to bring food to his brothers. 

Not only was he diligent to be where he was supposed to be but he was diligent to do his job right.

He protected his sheep with his life, he made sure they were taken care of when he was away from them, he made sure Goliath knew it was God that would win the battle, and no matter how high Saul promoted him, he behaved himself wisely (1 Samuel 18:4).

David's diligence to do right produced the faith he needed when the time came.

The faith David had did not just come with a snap of the fingers. He could not just summon it. The great faith showed in the defeat of Goliath was the result of his proving God, time and time again.
The situation with the lion and bear is one example we know about, but who knows, there may have been other similar situations. The fact that he was anointed king must've told David that God was watching him, knew what he was doing, and was with him.

So, as monotonous as life can be, be diligent to do what the Lord has given you to do whether it be staying at home with children or going out to earn a living.
Do it right, behave wisely, and worship God.
When you have a decision to make: read your bible or watch one more episode, read your bible. Choose God. These small things show God that you are trustworthy in the big things and your faith will be increased. 

If you want a heart after God's own heart, do what He set you to do- give value to the things he values. As my pastor says, 'worship shows what something is worth to you'.
David did not go out and seek fame and glory. He just stayed with the sheep, all day every day, in hard times, in easy times, and while he was diligent to do his job, he worshiped the Lord. 

Good Preaching for the Family

I don't have much time to write today so I thought I'd let others do some work for me.
The following links are to sermons that have helped me as a wife and mother. I hope they are as much a help to you as they have been to me.


This first sermon is one I would share with every wife I know. The Power of a Submissive Wife by Reg Kelly. Submission is not at all easy. It becomes easier when you understand it better and realize that submission protects you. I hope you listen to it again and again and follow the wisdom God is showing you through it.


This next sermon, also by Reg Kelly, is on biblical child training. It is a great sermon and he makes many good points to draw from.


Lastly, this link is to a series of sermons called 'Happy Ever After (The Home)' by Dilbert Terry. He addresses everything that has to do with the home in this series. He's one of the best preachers ever because he speaks the whole Word (he reads through the Bible at least 4 times a year and he knows it so well) and he does not shy away from saying anything. He is not vulgar or anything he just deals very plainly with scripture.
Happy Ever After- Dilbert Terry

I hope these sermons are a blessing to you!

Favourite Fall Pies

Yesterday was the first day of fall, which happens to be my favourite season, and I intended to post my three favourite fall pie recipes.
Well, I did not have time so I'm posting them this morning.
I never really cared for pies growing up because my mom never made them. She made cakes and Philippino desserts.
My husband LOVES pies. Love is actually an understatement but it will do. So here is the first pie I ever made in my life:

First pie I ever made- March 17, 2012

This pie is Michael Smith's Old Fashioned Apple pie.
It is absolutely perfect and simple. The crust is buttery and flakey and the filling is delightful especially with tart Granny Smith or Honey Crisp apples.
Fresh and from scratch is always the way to go.
Find the recipe right here: Michael Smith- Old Fashioned Apple Pie

The second pie I ever made is a pumpkin pie. I do not have a picture of any of the ones that I've made.
This recipe is from a man called Chef John and his website foodwishes.com is one I frequent. He has lots of great and easy recipes on there.
My favourite thing about this pie in particular is how easy it is made. While he calls for canned pumkin puree I roast a pumpkin and puree it myself. If you skip that step, however, the crust is made in a food processor and the filling is mixed together in a few minutes.
Give it a try this thanksgiving: Chef John- Best Pumpkin Pie Ever

The third pie I love is my established favourite- Joy the Baker's Dad's Sweet Potato Pie.
In Canada we call it a 'yam'.
I love yams- we always had them at turkey dinners growing up and so now they are a necessity for me when I made roast chicken dinners and turkey dinners.
This pie, though it contains a lot of sugar, has the best spices and the yams give it a certain something that elevate it from a pumpkin pie.
This one does take a few more steps then the two above but it is well worth the effort.
Here it is: Joy the Baker- Dad's Sweet Potato Pie

If you're apprehensive about making crusts, the one linked to in Chef John's pumpkin pie recipe is the easiest one I've seen and made.
One good thing to note is not to over work your pie dough. Once you have incorporated all the flour, let it be- it keeps make your crust flakey.

I hope this was a blessing to you and that your Fall brings cooler weather.

Five Years

Today is my husband's and my fifth anniversary.

My father-in-law performed the ceremony on August 15th, 2010

I've reflected a lot on our marriage over the last few months. As I've reflected, the things that I have been most thoughtful about are the vows we made on that day before God.

That day is a blur to me. I remember bits and pieces of it but the most important part- the vow- doesn't play back in my head. It's unfortunate but fortunately Michael and I discussed what we wanted our marriage to be long before we ever said 'I do', and also I have a copy of the vow we made.

I intend to stand by Michael in sickness, health, poverty, wealth, through children, through family, through the world, through death, through life, through everything 'as long as we both shall live'.
When I said 'I do', I meant it.

The marital 'I do' are not light words. You have given yourself up by saying them. Everything you want, think, say, do now effects your marriage. You can either work selflessly toward 'I do' or selfishly against it.
'I do' is not the end of the story. 'I do' does not mean you have it right. 'I do' is a world of challenges that yields one of earthly life's greatest rewards.
'I do' does not mean it's done. It means it's just beginning.

I think most marriages fail because people say 'I do' but don't bother putting effort into really thinking through those things mentioned above. They do not realize that 'I do' is a vow of selflessness. It is not about making yourself happy, it is about what you can do for the other person. (Please note- I recognize that many people who were married, still wish to be married, but can't because their spouse destroyed their marriage through adultery and the like- I am not talking about these situations.) 

If I want to live with my husband happily until we die, there are things I need to do.
For instance:
Michael and I came together because of the bible. Our relationship was born out of mutual interest in and love for the scripture. We decided, before we met each other, to live by the Word, and thus our relationship was first built on the Word, and now our marriage is built on the Word. The fact that our marriage would be founded on biblical principals never needed to be said. It is something we've always known and it is the standard we hold each other accountable to. 

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own

husbands, as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:23

How can I expect my marriage to last if I don't obey that verse?

Nevertheless let every one of you in

particular so love his wife even as himself;

and the wife see that she reverence her

husband.

Ephesians 5:33

Reverencing my husband means treating him with respect. It means I do not complain about him to our child and others, I do not give him attitude, I do not take my mood out on him, and so on.

Submitting myself and being reverent toward my husband are two ways I put my marriage vow into practice and prove it's worth to me- it is putting my feelings aside to treat my husband the way I am commanded to.

It is not natural to be submissive and reverent- especially in a marriage as you get to know each other.

Familiarity breeds contempt- that's where God's grace comes in.
While submission is not an easy thing and reverence does not come naturally to me, my vow before God constrains me to get those parts of my life under control. If I let myself do what I please, my marriage would be in shambles because what I please has nothing to do with submission and reverence. I take my marriage vow seriously and I work daily to make my marriage work.

Recently, my husband and I had to work through an issue we were having. It was something that would come up every few months and finally it came to a point where it needed to be settled once and for all. We had some pretty fierce arguments about it and, when we had what was to be the final battle about it I felt like I could never forgive him.
I was furious in a way I'd never been before. Then I remembered that I promised to love Michael. 'Charity never faileth' (1 Corinthians 13) charity is God, charity is love in action.
When I remembered my promise to love Michael I had to stop and really think about my actions and emotions. I realized that I either love myself more than him or I love him more than myself. Happy marriages are not made of two people who love themselves more than they love each other. I also had to realize that I love God most of all. If I tried to solve this problem using my own love toward Michael I would fail. I needed supernatural love- charity.
I couldn't think about what made me so angry but what I did do was go to God in prayer. What I had learned was that I could not deal with this on my own, in my flesh, or in my spirit; it made me so angry I couldn't stand it.
When I went to God I just asked Him to help me do what I was supposed to do. I asked for grace, strength, and an attitude change. I asked God to help me love Michael- that's kind of a funny request isn't it?
You know, God changed my heart the instant I was done praying.
I couldn't submit to Michael, I was too angry at him for that, but I could- and did- submit to God and He took care of my issue with Michael. 

What wound up happening was I was able to apologize, I was able to forgive, I was able to tell Michael my entire side, and we've resolved it once and for all.
This giant weed in our garden was pulled out and destroyed.
I tell that story to say this: my marriage vow helped me overcome my flesh. Remembering it helped me when I failed. Our marriage vows are not for show. They are real promises meant to aid us in life.

We've changed a lot in five years of marriage but what has not changed is the vow we made exactly five years ago. That is the beauty of marriage, you grow older, move, change, but your purpose remains the same. I'm so thankful I have something to look back on, to remind me of why we came together, to give me strength to do what is right.
God is so good!

Let Us Reason with Four Year Olds

The other day while at the playground I was pushing my son on the swing.
On the swing next to us was a little boy, probably four years old, being pushed by his grandmother. I guess they had been using the swing for a while because the grandmother started to say, 'it's time to get off the swing' every few moments.
Each time, her grandson would decisively shake his head and say 'no!'
Well, this went on for a while and eventually the grandmother started to say things like, 'we've been on here a long time. Other kids want to swing. We need to share,'
Still, the child would not yield.
Then she started to say, 'sharing is caring,'
Yeah, that didn't work either.
She kept saying, 'sharing is caring' but finally she stopped pushing him and knelt down in front of him.
I did not catch everything she said. I did catch a lot of it, though, and what she was doing was negotiating with the boy.
The boy couldn't care less that he was being selfish and disobedient. He had no desire to 'share'- it wouldn't do him any good to see another child on the swing.
His grandmother knelt there talking to him about the need to share for a good five minutes. Finally she resorted to bribery-
'We can play here all day if you want to. If you get off now, you can play on it later on,' and so on.
I'm not sure what she said to make him get off but he finally did, and happily.

Frankly, that was a terrible display of authority.

First off, the boy clearly has no fear in him.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom:

Psalm 111:10a, Proverbs 9:10a

There is such thing as healthy fear. The fear of God is the best fear anyone can have.
No, it's not God's fear, it is knowing exactly who God is, what He is capable of, and realizing that He will render to every man according to his work.
In other words- you transgress, you will be punished.
I expect my two year old to obey me. I know he won't always obey right away and with the right heart. I know he will do stupid things that are difficult for me to change because he isn't speaking much yet. However, my expectation that he must obey me is not unreasonable and not impossible.
From a young age we have taught our son that disobedience brings discipline.
One of the biggest things, to my husband and I, is that our son comes to us when we call him.
For a long time we would call his name and tell him to come but he would just stand there or continue with what he was doing.
One day, after the first time I called him, he did not listen so I immediately stood up and went to get him myself.
I disciplined him in love and, even though he's not perfect at it, more often then not he comes when we call him.
Think it's ridiculous for me to discipline a two year old for not obeying?
What if, one day, he's running straight toward a busy street, or a wall he can fall off of and I'm too far away to physically stop him? Being able to call his name and tell him to stop knowing he'll obey is a huge relief and blessing in that situation.
Training him early, during ordinary days, when it's not a matter of life and death will make a huge difference when it is.
The earlier you teach them that sin has repercussions, the easier, safer, happier it is later on.

Happy is the man that feareth alway;

Proverbs 28:14a

We do not think of fear bringing happiness, but the fear of the Lord can and will.

I am so happy when my son obeys me, and my happiness effects him and he becomes happy.

 A happy child knows what to do and that they are doing right. Training a child to fear authority gives them security and confidence.

By mercy and truth iniquity is purged:

and by the fear of the Lord men depart

from evil.

Proverbs 16:6

Secondly, that grandmother had no sense of authority.

Children, obey your parents

in the Lord: for this is right.

Ephesians 6:1

That grandmother was reasoning with a four year old.
Reasoning.
With a four year old.
They are very cute and sweet but logic and reason are not developed yet.
On Sunday I asked one of my students, a four year old, to join the others on the couch.
He just sat there angrily with his arms crossed.
I knelt in front of him and said, 'Am I your teacher?'
He said yes.
I asked, 'Are you supposed to obey your teacher?'
He said yes.
I said, 'will you please sit on the couch?'
And he complied.
I've watched his mother kneel in front of him to tell him that I am his teacher and he must obey me.
She gave me the right to instruct her children.
This student's parents teach their children about authority. The children know that they must be in subjection to their parents. The parents recognize their God given task of training their children and the authority that comes with that.
Both the parents and the children know their places- parents are the authority under God, the children are to obey.
I did not have to reason with him or bribe him into obeying, I simply had to remind him of the authority I have over him during Sunday School.
God put parents in charge. Parents have the freedom to hand over that authority to grandparents, baby sitters, Sunday school teachers and so forth.
That grandmother had no authority behind her because she did not recognize that her authority is God given and right. She approached the child like he was almost her equal.
Instead of suggesting it was time to get off the swing, she should have told him it was time. Instead of continuing to push him, she should have stopped the swing. Those small thing prove authority and shows the child who is in control.

Thirdly, the child had no sense of obedience
Clearly, the child is given the right to make most of the decisions.
'Which do you want, what would you like to eat, where would you like to sit, what do you want to do,'
Learning to be decisive and make choices are good things. We let our son pick out things when we can. However, we do not let him dictate what we are going to do- especially if he is trying to get his way by throwing a fit.
As parents it's our job to lead our children in the right things to do. For example, setting an example of family devotions. I realize that it can be very tedious to a child but family devotions could be the difference in your child's decision to serve God and reject the world. It made that difference in my life.
Sometimes Bo points to the TV and wants to watch, I often say no. It probably wouldn't be a bad thing for him to watch and it may give me a few minutes to get something finished, but I do not want him thinking he can choose to watch TV and I will comply. It gives him the idea that he is in charge. He needs to recognize, even at two, that he will not control what happens. He certainly effects what happens, but what we do will be decided by mom and dad because we know best (or at least better).
Not only that, TV isn't good for you. I'd rather he play with his toys to let his imagination and creativity flourish.
Yes, he is only two and does not understand that, but I tell you, it's easy at the mall when we walk by a toy store to say 'no, we're not going inside'. Though he may not like it, he listens (a lot of the time, not every time) because he's used to being told 'no'.
I am certainly not advocating saying 'no' for 'no's sake'. I am saying, use discretion and train your children to recognize that you are in authority, you know best, and they must learn to take no as an answer even when they do not understand.
The child must also learn that there are things we must do, even when they are not fun. Those things help us grow.
For example: I love volleyball. I played it throughout high school on teams and briefly on a club. The thing is, there are a lot of things I did not enjoy about playing for organized teams:
conditioning, tedious drills, getting benched.
Conditioning is hard work, doing the same drill for an hour is boring, and getting benched is frustrating and maddening.
But you know what? those things made me grow as a player.
Had I just gotten friends together and played I would not have grown as a player as I did with a professional coach making me do the boring stuff.
Getting benched makes real athletes mad. It forces us, though, to analyze ourselves honestly and improve the weak areas of our game.
Sharing the swing would not have been fun for the boy but it would have helped him grow as a person. He may have learned to take joy in making others happy or developed the strength to be considerate. Instead, he extracted a bribe from his grandmother to ensure his happiness continued.
Did he learn anything?
Yes he did- that if you hold out long enough you can have your cake and eat it too.

Train up a child in the way

he should go: and when he is

old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

That is a wonderful promise. Put in the work now while it is time. Look well to the ways of your household (Proverbs 31), and chasten thy son while there is yet hope (Proverbs 19:18). This will give you joy in your later years and your child will rise up and call you blessed (Proverbs 31). Remember, a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame (Proverbs 29:15).

Guard your children from the world. Take care to correct their ways, with mercy, truth, and grace. God will bless your efforts and you will have an eternal reward.

The 'No 'Poo' Movement

First off, this not about 'poo' its about shampoo.
The kind that goes in your hair.

About four months ago my husband told me about an article he read about people (mostly female) celebrities not using shampoo. Many of them 'swear by it' and apparently, after a few weeks of gross oily-ness, you will have softer, fuller, healthier hair.
I was completely intrigued.

See, I have long hair. Really long hair. If I don't move it, I'll sit on it. I can't even do a sock bun, it's so long.
I did not mean to grow it for so long but every time I wanted to cut it, something would prevent me.
I've always loved my hair but, though very thick and heavy, it does not have much body.

As soon as my husband told me about the 'no poo' movement I looked into it for myself and this is what I found:
The Hairpin- How to Quit Shampoo Without Becoming Disgusting
The Hairpin- Three Years Without Shampoo

I looked around a bit more but I came to the conclusion that there is no one way to do it.
Everyone has their own methods but the outcome is the same.
I also realized that 'no shampoo' is no store bought shampoo but you're using baking soda to clean the oil out and apple cider vinegar to condition.
I have read that some people have gotten to the point where the oil production of their hair is completely balanced and they only have to use the baking soda and apple cider vinegar once a month.

I wanted direction so I just followed the Hairpin method.
My hair got really really gross.
Fortunately my hair is so long I could put it up into a bun and still look presentable.
I washed my hair with just water for four weeks then used baking soda and apple cider vinegar.
It's been a few weeks now, and my hair already has more body and volume to it. The colour is more vibrant and it is so smooth.
I'm really looking forward to the next few months to see how my hair reacts and gets healthier and healthier.
I do intend to cut my hair soon and then I'll work on weaning myself off the baking soda and apple cider vinegar.

I definitely recommend this method for everyone. If I am blessed with a daughter I have no intention of ever using shampoo in her hair.
It does take patience but it is well rewarded and you're saving yourself money.

Have a good Sunday!

Cultures

I've really wanted to blog more but between my son, husband, home, and projects I have not had the time.
One of those projects keeping me busy is cultures.
No, not cultures of the world but fermentation.

About a year ago my sister started talking to me about Kombucha.
It sounded like a lot of work so I just smiled, nodded, and went on my merry way.
A few months ago I was at the grocery store when I saw they had GTS Kombucha on sale. I bought the guava flavour and tried it.
At first I thought it had turned but the flavours settled out to be a kind of sweet, vinegary, guavaish flavour.
After that first bottle I decided I could take it or leave it- it wasn't fantastic or anything and I have better uses for our money.
About a week went by and I started craving it.
It would come into my mind randomly and I felt like I just needed some.
I went back and got the guava and mango flavours.
Thus, my love of kombucha took off.

Okay, so what is kombucha?
It is a fermented tea- usually made with black or green teas.
The fermentation process, which involves a Symbiotic Colony Of Bacteria and Yeast (aka SCOBY), takes about 7-30 days and leaves you with a sweet and sour effervescent drink.

Why drink it?
It's healthier than soft drinks
It aids in digestion
It helps ward off diseases by alkalinizing the body

How did it help me?
My cycles have become more regular (TMI? sorry)
I have more energy
I'm not bloated all the time anymore
I do not crave pop, coffee, or any other sweet drinks that are no good for me
My appetite has gone from ravenous to controlled- if I am too hungry to wait for dinner I just have a glass of kombucha

You can read more about the benefits of kombucha on these sites:
Sarah Ramsden
Cultures for Health
Kombucha Kamp

I've been brewing my own kombucha for a few months now. It was kind of tricky when I started, and of course you have to wait a little bit before you can taste it. I personally love a strong and sweet black tea flavour so I let my kombucha brew for a little over a week.
I think I've got my method down now. I am blessed with a warm kitchen that allows me to have shorter brewing times and healthy scoby's.
I bought a beautiful glass beverage dispenser at walmart ($24.99!!!!!) and I'll be attempting a continuous brew in the coming week.
If you're interested in trying this lovely, sweet, and living drink, Safeway carries some flavours and Whole Foods carries lots of flavours including original.
If you like what you taste, try to brew some yourself!
I used Sarah Ramsden's method to grow a scoby and Cultures for Health has video tutorials, expert articles, and all the information you need to start brewing your own!
Cultures for Health also sells dehydrated scoby's if you'd like to obtain one that way.

Homesteader's Emporium is a Vancouver, Canada based store that sells scoby's and everything you need to brew kombucha.

Sourdough
My husband looooooooves sourdough.
I'm not too into bread. I like sandwiches occasionally but I don't care for toast or buttered bread with my food.
Anyways, I've been long convicted (yes, God does have an interest in our personal well being) that I needed to start baking my own bread.
I've had no luck with bread in the past. I've tried making my own sourdough starters but those failed.
I finally came across the Homesteader's Emporium (link above) website that sells Cultures For Health dehydrated sourdough starters.

I ordered a San Francisco sourdough starter from Homesteader's Emporium and activated it as soon as I got it.
It took about two weeks from activation, to feeding, to generating enough starter to make bread.
I DID IT!
Yesterday, after two proofing periods, I was finally able to pull out successfully baked sourdough from the over.
My husband loves it.
It's moist, mildly sour, just the right density, and chewy-ness.
I used the basic sourdough bread recipe on Cultures for Health and watched the video on how to make it three times.

If you don't like sourdough or are ambivalent about it, consider these things:
It is easier to digest (better for your waist line) because the sourdough breaks down gluten
Simple sugars are consumed during the fermentation process
If you'd like actual science and more detailed description of sourdough benefits see here: Sourdough Introduction- Cultures For Health

I hope this was a blessing to you in some way.
Cultures sure are a blessing to me. They do take some work but it is completely worth it!

Where Our Heart Is

I love my husband very much.

For some reason, however, I have trouble obeying him.

That some reason is the fact that, despite five years that prove otherwise, I think I know better than him.

I really really don't.

He tells me, put Oxyclean in every load of laundry.

I think 'well, it's expensive, we want to conserve it, do Bo's clothes really need oxyclean?' and poof, I don't obey him.

Now that is a very very simplistic example but if I can't obey him in the simple things, how am I going to obey him in the big things?

There are expectations in marriage that are unspoken but they are there.

Keeping his name clean and bringing honour to his house for one.

Right now, though, I am thinking of the things my husband is responsible for that are placed in my keeping.

The way a family works is a partnership between the parents. The way a family is structured is a single head.

Family Structure:

God- final authority

Husband-leader, responsible to God for those under him (Ephesians 5:23, Ephesians 6:4)

Wife- third in command, responsible to her God and her husband for those under her (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22)

Children- responsible to obey God and parents (Ephesians 6:1-3)

Day to day family:

God- watches over us

Dad- works to provide (1 Timothy 5:8) + Mom- trains the children and keeps the home (Titus 2:5)

Children- grow and learn (Colossians 3:20)

In my keeping is the well being of my husband, our child, home, and, to a small extent, finances.

Each of the above are a world in themselves.

For example:

He expects me to feed our child, clean him when he's dirty, make sure he's safe, and so on.

He also expects me to train him up to obey, teach him about Jesus, and keep him away from worldly influences.

I've known a family where the father's job meant he was constantly traveling and his wife, tired, gave up training her children. Most of their children stopped following Christ and the father went through deep heartbreak because of that. I'm not saying it was completely the wife's fault, but she clearly did not take her role seriously.

So I look around my home and realize, there are a lot of things my husband gives importance to, that I do not.

I buy him his favourite apples and make sure there's chocolate in the house, but do I make sure that the oven is clean, vacuum the floor every day, wipe the inside of the fridge, and ensure the counters are spotless, knowing those things are important to him? (As a chef kitchen cleanliness is very important to him)

What about money?

Am I careful with his hard earned money? Do I save it rather then spend it?

These are subtle, simple things, but they are the difference between debt and monetary freedom, between having him comfortable in a clean home, or unhappily irritated that we live in a dump.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price

is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in

her, so that he shall have no need of spoil

She will do him good and not evil all the days

of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-13

I do not want to be another 'child' that my husband needs to look out for and 'take care of'.

I need to be a steady hand to help him. One he can 'safely trust'.

Adultery is not the only evil you can do to your husband. I need to make sure he's secure in all areas I am able.

Now there's God.

Do I put importance where He puts importance?

In some things yes- reading and studying the bible, prayer time.

In spreading the gospel- no.

This is where my love for God fails. I am more concerned about my own comfort than pulling a sinner out of hell and hiding a multitude of sins.

All this makes me realize that my treasure is myself.

For where your treasure is, there will

your heart be also.

Matthew 6:21

Before I think of God or my husband I think of myself. That cannot be. I will not be a fruitful Christian or a fruitful wife if I just think of myself.

I hope this was a blessing and a help to you. 

Who has Taught Us?

I am very grateful I have a mother, mother-in-law, grandmothers, aunties, and other experienced moms in my life.

I know that I could have easily been lacking a mother and I appreciate the blessing of growing up with two parents and an extended family around.

What I am about to write is something I've thought about for a long time. I do not mean to be hard on women and I certainly do not want to slight any of the mothers in my life. I do want to make known a terrible disease in our world today

One of the worst things about being a young girl is the lack of truly Godly influential women to look up to. There is no biblical training.

There are things I cannot talk about to some of the women in my life because, frankly, they failed at it.

Marriage, for example, is a big thing. It is a LIFE thing. A marriage that will succeed needs to be tended to like a garden- weeds need pulling out, there must be fertilizer, watering, sowing, fruit bearing, growth, purging, and everything that comes with a healthy garden.

I do not remember once being taught about marriage.

I thought love was a feeling- what the other person makes me feel. I've since learned that true love is completely selfless.

Marriage needs working through.

I have grown so much in my marriage. I am not perfect but I know I have matured a lot.

I once tried to express some of these things to a woman in my life but I had to stop lest I offend her.

Why?

She did no such thing in her marriage. She was a continual dropping to her husband.

Our men drive us nuts sometimes, but most of those things can be processed internally and handled with grace. Most of those things can be dealt with by the Lord.

Nagging, disrespect, disobedience, turning their children against them- none of that is justified before the Lord.

It is not up to us to change our men.

It is up to God.

Fortunately, I have a sister. She, like me, is working towards a lasting and healthy marriage. We are able to talk to and encourage each other in this endeavor.

I don't understand: we train people for jobs, why can't we train people for life?

Don't our children deserve to have a fighting chance?

I think people assume the child will figure it out on their own. By God's grace, some do, but I'd say most don't.

We're brought up to be selfish- to make ourselves comfortable at the cost of others.

We're brought up to unleash our feelings and emotions despite the consequences.

We're brought up thinking we are always right- the way we do things, the way we think, and what we believe.

We are not taught to edit ourselves. We are not taught to change.

This is why marriages fail- people are selfish. We are consumed by our emotions.
A wise preacher once said that bible believers should 'live by principal and not by feeling'.
We have the Word of God and the Holy Spirit to guide us. Is it really that hard to listen?

One thing I desire is to always be close to my children. They will grow up and leave me but I pray that they will always be comfortable coming to me for guidance, comfort, help, or maybe just to talk.
I pray they will be able to trust me- that I've done what is best for them as they grew. That I stood by their father, supporting him, loving him, trusting him, respecting him, and reverencing him.
I cannot expect my children to obey me if I am not obeying God and my husband.

I just don't understand why some women make their own lives miserable by fighting against the things God put in place to keep us happy.

If you are a mother to a daughter you are blessed.

I would love to have a little girl.

I hope you are taking the time to train her.

Not just in marriage, but in life. I hope you are taking time to teach her what is important, what it is to be a lady, what it is to have honour.

Young girls need good role models. Not just at church but at home. They will not find it in the world.

They need strong women who they can go to for help. They need to know that Hollywood does not produce anything even remotely close to true love.

Young girls need to know that marriages can last if they put in the work. They need to see you do it. They need to be taught.

Show Him you Love Him

I'm not exactly Wife of the Year.
I make a lot of mistakes and they all boil down to selfishness and pride.
I've picked up a few hacks in my four in a half years of marriage and I thought I'd share them for anyone reading. These are all tangible ways to show your husband that you love and consider him. They go hand in hand with pursuing peace by not nagging him.

1) Get up and greet him
It occurred to me one day that I used to always get up and greet my husband. Between breast feeding and cooking it got lost and I found I was waiting for him to come over and greet me.
Now no matter what I'm doing I always stop to go to him and give him a kiss.
I know this may sound ridiculous to a newly wed but any experienced spouse knows: after the honeymoon life takes over and you get busy.
Make sure to give him a good kiss when he gets home. It may be the only one you get a chance to give him until you go to bed.

2) Shave your legs
This is something my husband really appreciates. He does not like spiky legs. He does not mind if I let my armpits go, but my legs are another story. I need to clarify: He is not grossed out by unshaved legs and he does not get angry if I do not shave them. He likes soft legs, who can blame him? And honestly, I don't mind shaving my legs in the middle of winter just for him. I know it's not a waste of time. This is kind of like someone holding the door for you- it's considerate and you appreciate it.
My point here is: find out what your husband likes and make it happen.
He likes you wearing makeup- wear it
He likes a certain scent- make an effort to spray it on
He likes long hair- let it grow

3) Cook his favourite food
This is kind of tough sometimes because it might mean barbeque chicken with potato salad and macaroni and cheese. Fat, sugar, and carbs all rolled into one. Your man will love it though. After a hard day's work, coming home to find you made a dinner completely inspired by him will erase 99% of his stress.

As wives it is our job to build up our husband. Our marriages will not last if we are selfish. Small things like those mentioned above will make a world of difference in your marriage. Letting your husband know he is appreciated and important to you will help your marriage to last.