I love my husband very much.
For some reason, however, I have trouble obeying him.
That some reason is the fact that, despite five years that prove otherwise, I think I know better than him.
I really really don't.
He tells me, put Oxyclean in every load of laundry.
I think 'well, it's expensive, we want to conserve it, do Bo's clothes really need oxyclean?' and poof, I don't obey him.
Now that is a very very simplistic example but if I can't obey him in the simple things, how am I going to obey him in the big things?
There are expectations in marriage that are unspoken but they are there.
Keeping his name clean and bringing honour to his house for one.
Right now, though, I am thinking of the things my husband is responsible for that are placed in my keeping.
The way a family works is a partnership between the parents. The way a family is structured is a single head.
Family Structure:
God- final authority
Husband-leader, responsible to God for those under him (Ephesians 5:23, Ephesians 6:4)
Wife- third in command, responsible to her God and her husband for those under her (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22)
Children- responsible to obey God and parents (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Day to day family:
God- watches over us
Dad- works to provide (1 Timothy 5:8) + Mom- trains the children and keeps the home (Titus 2:5)
Children- grow and learn (Colossians 3:20)
In my keeping is the well being of my husband, our child, home, and, to a small extent, finances.
Each of the above are a world in themselves.
For example:
He expects me to feed our child, clean him when he's dirty, make sure he's safe, and so on.
He also expects me to train him up to obey, teach him about Jesus, and keep him away from worldly influences.
I've known a family where the father's job meant he was constantly traveling and his wife, tired, gave up training her children. Most of their children stopped following Christ and the father went through deep heartbreak because of that. I'm not saying it was completely the wife's fault, but she clearly did not take her role seriously.
So I look around my home and realize, there are a lot of things my husband gives importance to, that I do not.
I buy him his favourite apples and make sure there's chocolate in the house, but do I make sure that the oven is clean, vacuum the floor every day, wipe the inside of the fridge, and ensure the counters are spotless, knowing those things are important to him? (As a chef kitchen cleanliness is very important to him)
What about money?
Am I careful with his hard earned money? Do I save it rather then spend it?
These are subtle, simple things, but they are the difference between debt and monetary freedom, between having him comfortable in a clean home, or unhappily irritated that we live in a dump.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price
is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in
her, so that he shall have no need of spoil
She will do him good and not evil all the days
of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-13
I do not want to be another 'child' that my husband needs to look out for and 'take care of'.
I need to be a steady hand to help him. One he can 'safely trust'.
Adultery is not the only evil you can do to your husband. I need to make sure he's secure in all areas I am able.
Now there's God.
Do I put importance where He puts importance?
In some things yes- reading and studying the bible, prayer time.
In spreading the gospel- no.
This is where my love for God fails. I am more concerned about my own comfort than pulling a sinner out of hell and hiding a multitude of sins.
All this makes me realize that my treasure is myself.
For where your treasure is, there will
your heart be also.
Matthew 6:21
Before I think of God or my husband I think of myself. That cannot be. I will not be a fruitful Christian or a fruitful wife if I just think of myself.
I hope this was a blessing and a help to you.
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