My Momma

I realize it's early for a Mother's Day post but I'm working on a lot of mother's day things so I've got it on the brain.

My mother isn't someone I mention a lot on this blog simply because I have a complicated relationship with her. We've never been close but we share a love for Christ and the Bible. She is my mother and I love her. I've learned a lot from her. Whatever history there is between us, there will always be bits and pieces of her in me.

If someone were to ask me the thing I remember most about my mom from childhood I would have to say that it is seeing her on our living room couch with her bible out, listening to one of her favourite preachers.
I don't remember what I thought about it back then. I would wonder why someone would go out of their way to listen to sermons- don't we do that twice on Sunday's and once on Wednesdays? I have to laugh that I do the same thing now as an adult. It's not just me, though, my sister and brother do the same. Granted, I don't sit still and listen to sermons- I put them on while cleaning or knitting or watching my son play outside.
I'm not sure it's 100% my mom's influence but seeing her seek God in this way for years and years obviously did us some good.
I have to clarify though- listening to preaching does not replace personal devotions and study.
I've learned this from experience: you can only take in so much. If you listen to three sermons in a day, each one a completely different topic, you won't grow. If all the sermons you listen to are full of good preaching- you will get bogged down with too many things to work on. You'll learn a lot but you won't be able to do anything about it. I've realized that when God teaches us He focuses on one area we need to grow. Picking sermons to listen to takes as much Holy Spirit discernment as choosing what book of the Bible to study next.
I listen to one sermon a day at most and sometimes not at all. The interesting thing is, the preaching I listen to online usually coincides with my personal devotions and often ties into what my pastor is teaching/preaching about at church. It directly deals with what God is working on in me. Only the Holy Spirit can do that.
I will say that teaching is something you can take in a lot of. I used to work at a place where I could listen to my ipod for eight hours if I wanted to. I was listen to sermons but I began to feel really heavy. The Holy Spirit told me to look for teaching so I found hundreds of seminars on creation and evolution, I found debates (which I had to stop listening to- they made me too aggressive), I did studies on bible versions, I did topical studies, and more. I would still listen to sermons but balancing them with teaching helped keep me from getting bogged down.
In everything there must be a balance:

A false balance is abomination to the

Lord: but a just weight is His delight.

Proverbs 11:1

My pastor talks a lot about head knowledge- it's not a bad thing but if we're not walking close to God, maintaining a good relationship with Him, and seeking to save the lost then all the knowledge we have about the bible doesn't matter. 

The other thing about my mom that I recall quite clearly from my childhood is how she would spend sunny Saturdays in the garden.
She just loves flowers and gardens and you know what? I just love them too. Her favourite flowers are roses. Well, mine are roses too- especially the little white ones.
I used to watch her on her knees in the dirt, weeding, clipping, and planting for hours. She would go to plant shows, nurseries, and could talk about plants for hours. I would always wonder at it and think that that would never interest me.
I know the Lord is laughing right now because I'm always outside nowadays, deadheading, clipping, strolling though my garden, checking on growth, wondering what else to grow, propagating and so on.
I think what I love the most about the garden is how much Bible I see in it every day.
I don't think dandelions have ever irritated me as much as they have this year (because I actually have a lawn this year). I'm really not trying to be corny but they always remind me of sin.
They look okay from a distance but up close they're ugly, they stink, they have thick deep roots that make them hard to pull out, then they have these neat seeds that are cool to blow on but then you've got more hideous, hard to get rid of dandelions.  Not only that- they grow fast and they don't seem to need fertilizer, water or anything. BAH! Does that not remind of you sin?
I have this hilarious apricot tree in the back yard and a darling pear tree (if you've ever seen a pear tree you know why it's darling). We just noticed that there is a branch of the pear tree growing out of the apricot tree. It's not the exact same but Paul talks about grafting in Romans 11.
I have some flowers just about to bloom- last week we had a few really sunny, hot days followed by two cloudy days. They were about eight inches tall during the sunny days but after a few days of clouds, spitting rain, and cold winds they had more than doubled in height. It's funny because I was at a ladies conference where the speaker mentioned that we need shadowy, cloudy days to grow. The darkness is when we draw closer to God and when we can exercise our faith. No matter the trial, if we pass or fail, as long as we use it for the better and make the right decisions with what we learned, we will grow.
I really could go on but I won't. Suffice it to say, no matter why I love gardening and flowers, it is a good, edifying, pure thing that I associate with my mother.

I am very grateful for my mom. God gave me a mom and allowed me to grow up with her. Not everyone has that. I am the most grateful for her prayers. I know her prayers have carried her children through and though we have wandered, we always come back to our love of the Saviour.

Weed Your Garden

A few years ago I was tuned in to a live sermon on Sermon Audio and the preacher was talking about marriage. He was talking about dealing with issues that inevitably come up in marriage. He said we need to 'continually weed our garden' so that minor issues don't become bigger issues later on.
I always remember that phrase 'continually weed our garden' whenever something comes up in my marriage that I could either ignore or deal with.
I always deal with things that bug me now-whether internally or externally- it helps me keep a clear conscience toward my husband and limits our arguments.
If something is bothering me I have to examine myself to see if it's a problem on my end: did I misinterpret what he said, am I being oversensitive, is there a greater issue here, and things like that. If it passes the internal test then I'll calmly and rationally discuss it with him.
One day, after lots of petty arguments, my husband said to me, 'is there something else bothering you? You can't be getting mad at me for all these petty reasons'.
That was before I heard the garden analogy, no doubt it set me up to hear it with a deeper understanding, but it really got me thinking about what I was getting mad about. Was I mad about a big thing that was making me pick a bunch of small fights with him or am I just a contentious woman? More times than not it's a big thing that has festered in my mind for too long.

As I go through life I find myself weeding many gardens in many of my relationships. The fact is, people fail us, hurt us, irritate us, and so on. This tends to happen with the people we're around all the time- our spouse, family, extended family, close friends, even fellow church members.
It has often been said that the people closest to us hurt us the most but it has also been said that we are our own worst enemy. Most of the time there is something in us that is either offended for no reason or blowing something out of proportion. Before we ever point the finger elsewhere, we need to look inside.
Situations inevitably arise and we have to deal with them but there are a few things I always try to keep in mind when interacting with others whether they be unsaved or saved. The list following contains small things that turn into great hatred if they are allowed to continue unchecked. They are things we would be ashamed to admit, never really think about in our minds, but run rampant in our subconscious. If we keep the following under control and eliminate them from our lives, we'll get along better with everyone in our lives, and when someone does do something harmful to us, we'll be in the right and able to handle it with grace.

1- Are you envious at another person's freedom?
Do you go out of your way to wear dresses and skirts to church but someone else, who is not a new Christian, comes in wearing tight pants every service?
Does that bother you? Why should it bother you? If it bothers you then deeply consider your motives.
It really should not matter what someone else is wearing. I'm not saying tight clothing is appropriate church attire but evidently God is working on a matter of the heart with them and clothes aren't important at the moment. Whatever the case may be, it should not matter. Maybe it is bothering you because you don't have the freedom to dress that way.
I find this is a big one in churches. It may look like someone is looking down on you but really they regret not having the freedom you have. It may be what you are able to eat, who you are friends with, the fact that you feel strongly convicted about homeschooling and other parents freely drop their children off at public school.
I realize this may sound silly and petty but in a few cases in my life I've had to examine why I felt dislike toward someone and it was something as silly as what they could do and I could not.

Let not him that eateth despise him that

eateth not; and let not him which eateth

not judge him that eateth: for God hath

received him.

Who art thou that judgest another man's

servant? to his own master he standeth or

falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God

is able to make him stand.

Romans 14:3&4

2- Are you envious at another person's possessions?
I think this happens to all of us- we see a thriving Christian or a wealthy unsaved family and wonder what they did to be blessed that way. The thing to remember is this: would you be willing to go through what that person went through to have the things they have today?
The religious leadership was envious at Jesus and look what they did to Him (see Matthew 27:18 and Mark 15:10). Envy is dangerous. Avoid it.

Let your conversation be without

covetousness; and be content with such

things as ye have: for he hath said, I will

never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Hebrews 13:5

3- Are you promoting yourself?
When you see people talking together, do you think they are talking about you? When the preacher is giving an example during his preaching, do you think he's talking about you?  If you automatically think of yourself in situations like these it is a good indication that you are walking in your flesh, not the Spirit. Maybe someone says something like, 'I have a nice crockpot' and it may run through your mind, 'so mine isn't nice?' If that is the case, you are in your flesh. Perhaps someone did not smile at you when you smiled at them or they did not say hi to you when they came in.
All these situations revolve around you. If you find yourself getting offended in one of the ways listed above, you're putting yourself first.

Great peace have they which love thy

law: and nothing shall offend them.

Psalm 119:165

4- Do you worry that others are better than you?
Do they live in a better neighborhood, are they more athletic, do their children get along better than yours, are they more involved, do they know more hymns by heart, do they have a better job, and so on. When you start sizing people up, your heart is not in the right place.

Be kindly affectioned one to another

with brotherly love; in honour preferring

one another;

Romans 12:10

Let nothing be done through strife or

vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each

esteem other better than themselves.

Philippians 2:3

5- Does it bother you when no one compliments you?
Maybe you sang a solo, made three dishes for the potluck, or was a major part of the success of an event and not one person told you what a good job you did.
If it bothers you, you are most certainly in your flesh.

It is not good to eat much honey: so for

men to search their own glory is not glory.

Proverbs 25:27

Reading this list over makes me very amused because they're all such little things that make a difference.

There is obviously one thread that binds all five points together: pride.
All these things can be avoided if you have the scriptural view of yourself.

When pride cometh, then cometh shame:

but with the lowly is wisdom.

Proverbs 11:2

Trying to be better than others, thinking you are better than others will lead to shame. 

Only by pride cometh contention: but

with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 13:10

The only reason there is ever contention is pride. Next time you're in an argument, shut down your pride and see what happens.

Pride goeth before destruction, and an

haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:18

Your pride is not your friend. The scripture is very clear: it will destroy you.

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he

saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth

grace unto the humble.

James 4:6

Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves

unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject

one to another, and be clothed with

humility: for God resisteth the proud, and

giveth grace to the humble.

Humble yourselves therefore under the

mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you

in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he

careth for you.

1 Peter 5:5-7

You don't need to dress in rags and have a long face to be humble. All you need to do is recognize who you are, what you deserve, and where you could've gone but for God's grace.

For ye see your calling, brethren, how

that not many wise men after the flesh, not

many mighty, not many noble, are called:

But God hath chosen the foolish things 

of the world to confound the wise; and God 

hath chosen the weak things of the world

to confound the things which are mighty;

and base things of the world, and things

which are despised, hath God chosen, yea,

and things which are not, to bring to

nought things that are:

that no flesh should glory in his presence.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29

That passage should easily put us all in our place.

Finally, how many times have you been in a bad mood and said something you did not mean? How many times did you put your foot in your mouth because you were caught up in the moment and not thinking? How many times have you misjudged a situation, acted impetuously, hastily, irrationally or inconsiderately without meaning to?

I do it all the time and I hope that the people around me most often will give me the benefit of the doubt that I don't mean any harm. The least I can do is afford that same kindness to others.

My pastor once said, 'the cause of Christ is greater'. How does it look to the world if we're squabbling and hating each other for no reason other than our pride? The world is full of hatred. The church should be one place where real love is. Christ loved us enough to die for us, the least we could do is die to ourselves for the sake of each other. 

Pull out pride by the roots and all will be well.

Balcony Gardening and my Plant of Choice

While I'm working on my next Strange Woman post in my Virtuous Woman series and I thought I would share a little about one of my favorite things- my garden.

I live in an apartment so I have to make do with a little balcony garden. Still, I'm very thankful for it.

Sorry for the bad angle- I can't really get a good one

my husband brought home a discarded pallet for me

I'm attempting to grow green beans this year

My rose and strawberry table- I look out for roses to propagate

Besides strawberries, roses, and green beans, I am growing thyme, oregano, rosemary, mint, sunflowers, raspberries, blueberries, and a few different flowers.

When I first started gardening I thought I would be more of a 'practical' gardener growing only edible plants. However, I love roses too much not to grow them, and frankly, not all edible plants are practical.
Gardening is something I do after my baby goes down for his nap. It's very relaxing to prune, water, and weed- yes they find their way into my potted plants- for a few minutes each day. It's exciting to see seeds sprouting, new buds forming, and fruit ripening.
Fruit tastes best when it's tended by your hand. My strawberries and raspberries taste like candy- my son won't eat store bought berries when mine are in season.
Freshly cut herbs add tasty dynamic to my cooking. They also make lovely gifts if you plan a head to dry them.

My Alpine strawberries early last year

If I could only grow one plant it would be oregano.

Very easy to care for, it is the only herb that is more potent dried than fresh (according to various sources on the internet and my own experience). It is a very versatile herb that goes in almost anything- particularly pastas.

I dried lots of it last year and was able to give jars of it to people as gifts- people who love to cook especially appreciated it.

Not only practical, it looks and smells lovely.

Out of control and ready to be cut

Yesterday I was finally able to bring my bursting oregano plants inside to prune and harvest. Last year I found that pruning helps the plant grow more lush and gives you a steady supply. I have two full grown pots of oregano at the moment and one pot I've recently planted. I'm hoping to plant a fourth pot this year for a large supply and Christmas stocking stuffers.

Oregano on my coffee table

I am not an expert at this so please go to a reliable source to learn the whole process of growing, harvesting and drying for yourself. I've found this method works for me in my mild west coast climate.

I cut the oregano at about 4 inches.

I shake them in case there are bugs on them

I lay the oregano carefully on a cooling rack that I've placed on a cookie sheet:

I put this in the back of a low kitchen cupboard and leave it for ten or twelve days. Once completely dry I place it in a jar and use as desired.

I hope this was an encouragement for you in some way.