My mother isn't someone I mention a lot on this blog simply because I have a complicated relationship with her. We've never been close but we share a love for Christ and the Bible. She is my mother and I love her. I've learned a lot from her. Whatever history there is between us, there will always be bits and pieces of her in me.
If someone were to ask me the thing I remember most about my mom from childhood I would have to say that it is seeing her on our living room couch with her bible out, listening to one of her favourite preachers.
I don't remember what I thought about it back then. I would wonder why someone would go out of their way to listen to sermons- don't we do that twice on Sunday's and once on Wednesdays? I have to laugh that I do the same thing now as an adult. It's not just me, though, my sister and brother do the same. Granted, I don't sit still and listen to sermons- I put them on while cleaning or knitting or watching my son play outside.
I'm not sure it's 100% my mom's influence but seeing her seek God in this way for years and years obviously did us some good.
I have to clarify though- listening to preaching does not replace personal devotions and study.
I've learned this from experience: you can only take in so much. If you listen to three sermons in a day, each one a completely different topic, you won't grow. If all the sermons you listen to are full of good preaching- you will get bogged down with too many things to work on. You'll learn a lot but you won't be able to do anything about it. I've realized that when God teaches us He focuses on one area we need to grow. Picking sermons to listen to takes as much Holy Spirit discernment as choosing what book of the Bible to study next.
I listen to one sermon a day at most and sometimes not at all. The interesting thing is, the preaching I listen to online usually coincides with my personal devotions and often ties into what my pastor is teaching/preaching about at church. It directly deals with what God is working on in me. Only the Holy Spirit can do that.
I will say that teaching is something you can take in a lot of. I used to work at a place where I could listen to my ipod for eight hours if I wanted to. I was listen to sermons but I began to feel really heavy. The Holy Spirit told me to look for teaching so I found hundreds of seminars on creation and evolution, I found debates (which I had to stop listening to- they made me too aggressive), I did studies on bible versions, I did topical studies, and more. I would still listen to sermons but balancing them with teaching helped keep me from getting bogged down.
In everything there must be a balance:
A false balance is abomination to the
Lord: but a just weight is His delight.
Proverbs 11:1
My pastor talks a lot about head knowledge- it's not a bad thing but if we're not walking close to God, maintaining a good relationship with Him, and seeking to save the lost then all the knowledge we have about the bible doesn't matter.
The other thing about my mom that I recall quite clearly from my childhood is how she would spend sunny Saturdays in the garden.
She just loves flowers and gardens and you know what? I just love them too. Her favourite flowers are roses. Well, mine are roses too- especially the little white ones.
I used to watch her on her knees in the dirt, weeding, clipping, and planting for hours. She would go to plant shows, nurseries, and could talk about plants for hours. I would always wonder at it and think that that would never interest me.
I know the Lord is laughing right now because I'm always outside nowadays, deadheading, clipping, strolling though my garden, checking on growth, wondering what else to grow, propagating and so on.
I think what I love the most about the garden is how much Bible I see in it every day.
I don't think dandelions have ever irritated me as much as they have this year (because I actually have a lawn this year). I'm really not trying to be corny but they always remind me of sin.
They look okay from a distance but up close they're ugly, they stink, they have thick deep roots that make them hard to pull out, then they have these neat seeds that are cool to blow on but then you've got more hideous, hard to get rid of dandelions. Not only that- they grow fast and they don't seem to need fertilizer, water or anything. BAH! Does that not remind of you sin?
I have this hilarious apricot tree in the back yard and a darling pear tree (if you've ever seen a pear tree you know why it's darling). We just noticed that there is a branch of the pear tree growing out of the apricot tree. It's not the exact same but Paul talks about grafting in Romans 11.
I have some flowers just about to bloom- last week we had a few really sunny, hot days followed by two cloudy days. They were about eight inches tall during the sunny days but after a few days of clouds, spitting rain, and cold winds they had more than doubled in height. It's funny because I was at a ladies conference where the speaker mentioned that we need shadowy, cloudy days to grow. The darkness is when we draw closer to God and when we can exercise our faith. No matter the trial, if we pass or fail, as long as we use it for the better and make the right decisions with what we learned, we will grow.
I really could go on but I won't. Suffice it to say, no matter why I love gardening and flowers, it is a good, edifying, pure thing that I associate with my mother.
I am very grateful for my mom. God gave me a mom and allowed me to grow up with her. Not everyone has that. I am the most grateful for her prayers. I know her prayers have carried her children through and though we have wandered, we always come back to our love of the Saviour.
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