Important Thoughts

The heart is deceitful above all things, and

desperately wicked: who can know it?

Jeremiah 17:9

I struggled a lot with my last post because I know it is incomplete. While it was about marital harmony and how our thoughts impact that, it's far more important to acknowledge that our thoughts effect our relationship with God first. All our relationships and everything in life fall into their proper place when you put God at the top and focus on pleasing Him.

The verse above from Jeremiah tells us that we are inherently wicked: our hearts are not naturally right with God. This means that we can't just let our hearts be as they are. We can't follow our hearts because they'll lead us to Hell- unless you're saved then they'll lead you away from God and a fruitless life.

Our hearts require work:

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the

issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

The first time the word keep shows up in the bible is Genesis 2:15:

And the LORD God took the man, and put him into

the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

Keep has to do with taking care of and tending to. Not only that, it means to guard:

So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east

of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword

which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of

life.

Genesis 3:34

Keep- tend, care, guard- your heart with all diligence. That means put effort into it, put work into it, track down every rabbit down every hole and find out where it leads. In other words, if your natural reaction is wrong in certain situations or you have thoughts and feelings that are not right, look into the heart of the matter.

Take covetousness, for example, covetousness comes from ingratitude, which comes from pride, which is thinking you better than you are and deserve better than you have. I know this because it is a problem with me, God told me so, I've searched it out and am wary of it. God hates covetousness- in Exodus 18 one of his stipulations for rulers was that they hated covetousness- so letting it reign in me, even for a short while, separates me from Him. Covetousness in me in just one example and one I'm slowly getting the victory over. I'm learning there are many facets to covetousness and it can effect my motivation for everything I do if I'm not right with God.
Whatever your besetting sin is, I promise you, it comes from the heart. Chase that rabbit down that hole and it will lead you deep into your heart. I'm covetous because I am proud, vain, and I deeply care what other people think about me. It's my minutely task to correct those things. It's actually easy to humble myself: I remember my habits, stupid decisions, and how slow I actually am; but it's also very easy to forget when pride and self preservation creep in. 

So stay in the Word. The more you're in the Word the more God points things out to you. The more you surround yourself with good influences, the more in contact you are with God throughout your day, the more the Holy Spirit will guide you, point things out to you, and teach you. I wouldn't know I have a problem with covetousness if I wasn't spending time in the Word. There are things God is teaching me now that I would not know if I didn't read and study. Reading the Word helps you arm yourself against those sins our hearts are naturally inclined to. As you get to know yourself better in light of what God thinks, the Holy Spirit helps you dodge your besetting sin and make godly choices. You have to replace what is in your heart with what God thinks about it- that means staying in the Word.

The thing is, your mind is usually the first place you sin. We can get pharisee-ical about this because no one but God sees our minds.  It's ironic that the thing that's hidden from others is the thing we need to guard most vigilantly.

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time,

Thou shalt not commit adultery:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a

woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with

her already in his heart.

Matthew 5:27&28

Taking into account the religious system of that day (the Pharisees and Sadducees) and the law, it looks as though the 'righteous' people were abstaining from the physical sin but allowing it free reign in their hearts and minds. This is partially why Jesus was on the Pharisees all the time (as we'll see later): they manipulated their appearance and tailored their actions to affect holiness and piety all the while their insides were rotting with unchecked pride and arrogance. They were so committed to their outward appearance, they 'ommitted the weightier matters of the law' which were 'judgment, mercy, and faith'(Matthew 23:23c).

Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye

know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

1 John 3:15

God wants inward obedience first. It's not enough to say, 'I've never killed someone'. Hatred is murder in God's Book. Your outward actions don't mean anything if your heart is not right with God.

For example:

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so

let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God

loveth a cheerful giver.

2 Corinthians 9:7

Don't give if you don't want to

Don't give because you think you have to

Give because you love God

Inward obedience. You'll worry less and less about your physical actions and how others perceive you if you focus on pleasing God from the inside.

That's not to say our physical actions do not effect our relationship with God. Keeping your heart is the first line of defence against physical sin. The things you let dwell in your heart will come up into your mind and eventually out your mouth, through your feet, your eyes, your hands.

O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak

good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the

mouth speaketh.

A good man out of the good treasure of the heart

bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the

evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men

shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day

of judgment.

For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy

words thou shalt be condemned.

Matthew 12:34-37

Okay, if that last verse doesn't scare you, there's something wrong with you. We are held accountable for the words we say, whatever they are, even in jest.
Those words above are Jesus' words, they shouldn't be taken lightly. Whatever is in your heart will come out your mouth. You cannot disguise the wickedness of your heart for long.

So the question is, what are you letting sit unchecked in your heart and mind?

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be

also.

Matthew 6:21

If you want to know what means most to you, what your treasure is, examine your choices and see what is the deciding factor.

The Pharisees, for example, exalted themselves in their own minds so they did things to cause other people to exalt them. They made broad their phylacteries, they loved to be called Rabbi, they made long prayers, they paid tithe of mint, anise, and cummin all to be seen of men (see Matthew 23). As Dr. Peacock says they were 'legends in their own mind; the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral'.
An example closer to home is my own treasure: myself. I know I'm my treasure because everything I do from getting up early to what to wear to what to eat is decided by what will make ME happy and keep me comfortable. Now, by God's grace, I don't behave solely for myself everyday. I want to worship God so I get up early, I want to raise a healthy, God fearing child, so I spend most of my day focusing on him and his needs, I want to please my husband so I put him before myself. Certainly all those things add to my happiness and comfort but they require more work then I'd naturally like to put in. I know this because I get delirious without 'me time', my husband knows this so he takes my son to Home Depot or out for ice cream to give me a break (isn't he wonderful?).
A long time ago I was watching an interview with a retired NBA player who I believe is french Canadian and won the championship with Larry Bird. The interviewer asked why he wasn't wearing his ring and he replied, 'I don't need to. I know what I did, it doesn't matter if others know'. That struck me and I've never forgotten it. It convicts me every time I want to say 'look what I did'. I still do, don't mistake me, but I try not to. Better than we ourselves knowing, God knows, and He's the one storing our treasures in heaven.
I honestly think all of us treasure ourselves first whether we like to admit it or not. Sometimes my motives for doing good things make me very ashamed because it's 100% selfish. Sometimes people say things that I find out of place and then it occurs to me that they are protecting themselves or guarding my thoughts about them. Then I realize that I do the same.
The only thing to do about this is to continually correct our treasure.
Yesterday morning, for example, it was going on 7:45 and I was snoozing comfortably, really not wanting to get up to do my devotions when the thought occurred to me, 'God gets no glory out of this', or something like that, and I got up. My treasure should be God but it naturally is not. Me being my own treasure was ruling until I remembered that I exist to glorify and worship God.

You see, our inward thoughts effect our relationship with God more than almost anything we do physically because our physical sins are the result of what was borne and bred in our minds before that.

Just like myself and covetousness: I tend to waste a lot of money on things I don't need because I need more more more so I can look good for myself. Pride= covetousness= wasting money. That's a light example, I can think of other things borne from covetousness that I'd be too ashamed to admit to on here.

Do ye not understand, that whatsoever entereth

in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out

into the draught?

But those things which proceed out of the mouth

come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders,

adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness,

blasphemies:

These are the things which defile a man: but to eat

with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

Matthew 15:17-20

Notice how most of those things- murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, blasphemy- are physical sins but two of them, as noted before, can be done in the mind. Sin is born and bred in our hearts.

So clean your heart up:

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!

for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the

platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.

Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is

within the cup and platter, that the outside of them

may be clean also.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!

for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed

appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead

men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto

men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

Matthew 23: 25-28

Jesus could not be plainer. Though you may appear clean, godly, and put together on the outside, if your inside is run over with excess, extortion, pride, arrogance, greed, and the like: your outside is just as dirty, though man cannot tell at first.
I would venture to say that a person who drinks alcohol but is completely without guile, kind, generous, and sweet has a better relationship with God than a person who avoids alcohol but inside is selfish, malicious, prideful (because they don't drink), and a respecter of persons. Obviously it's not the drinker with the problem- it's the non drinker. 

What do you do?

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after

the flesh:

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but

mighty through God to the pulling down of strong

holds;)

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that

exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and

bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience

of Christ;

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

I used to worry a lot and get paranoid for no reason. One day in my bible reading I came across the above passage and the bolded verse struck me. It is a very powerful verse to me.

The command is strong: bring it into captivity and cast it down.

I was going through a very difficult time with worry when I read this passage. I was pregnant, but I didn't know it yet (I found out at 11 weeks) and I had suddenly been bombarded by my imagination running rampant with frightful things I was afraid would happen.

The only way I could comfort myself was memorizing scripture and quoting it to myself whenever I began to get paranoid. It was during this time that God led me to that verse and taught me what to do.

Whenever you think something sinful, cast it down.

My worrying for example, was a lack of trust in God so I would bring my worrisome thoughts into captivity with Psalm 91. It didn't take long for my worries to abate and finally disappear.

I still become fearful, I still worry but I'm armed with the shield of faith and the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. Those things protect your mind. You just have to use them.

A bad thought come into your head? Push it out and apologize to God. Acknowledge it was wrong. Our thoughts will never be clean this side of heaven, bad things come up all the time but weeding those bad thoughts out prevent bitterness, hate, and wrath from breeding.

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and

clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with

all malice:

And be ye kind kind one to another, tenderhearted,

forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake

hath forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31&32

Unity, peace, and kindness come much easier when we don't allow ourselves to have bitter, angry, and evil thoughts about others in our mind. Mean thoughts come into my head all the time- I throw them out and apologize to God. I don't comment mean things to my husband about people- even if he would find it funny. It's giving place to the devil and his devices. It's amazing how much angst, division, strife, we can avoid by keeping a tight reign on our thoughts. It's amazing how much closer you can walk with God by casting out things that may seem harmless at fist.


I hope this was a help to you. I don't know what thoughts you struggle with and what your besetting sins are. I hope my own examples give you an idea of where to start. I've written this post several times because I know its so important. My first post about thoughts didn't present the groundwork for maintaining one's thought life. Sometimes on this blog I just plow through thinking everyone has been saved for twenty years and knows what I know about the bible. That's just not so.

This topic is so expansive and I think I just barley nicked the surface of it. I hope at least it gives you a good idea of God's thoughts on the matter and helps you realize the importance of guarding your heart against sin.
Your whole life will benefit from it.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the

issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

Thoughts

A few posts ago I shared advice given by ladies from my church at our ladies night.
When all was said and done and I was able to look back on what my advice was, I thought I should have rather given what I am about to write in this post.
I didn't regret the advice I gave, I just thought I could have given something more helpful. Also I get really excited when I talk in front of people and I don't think I ever make much sense.
Anyways, someone who was there came up to me on Sunday and told me that what I said helped them. So clearly the Lord had me say that for a reason.

Right now though, if they were to ask me again I would give this advice: control your thoughts.

When I was first married I had no idea that a thought life existed and that it needed to be lassoed, roped up and brought to utter submission.

I didn't realize how strongly thoughts effected you and what they resulted in outside. Once I was married I was forced to edit (or parent) myself from my outward actions down to my smallest inward thought.
My work situation at the time gave me plenty of leave to think about things. I allowed myself to think covetously about clothes, I ranted against my husband, thought whatever I wanted of others, and tried to make myself out to be better than I was.
Needless to say, all these things manifested themselves on the outside:

For as he thinketh in his heart so is he:

Proverbs 23:7a
And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without
understanding?
Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth
in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out
into the draught?
But those things which proceed out of the mouth
come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders,
adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness,
blasphemies:
These are the things which defile a man: but to eat
with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
Matthew 15:16-20
But all things that are reproved are made manifest
by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is
light.
Ephesians 5:13

Everything inside will eventually come out. It just takes time.

As one preacher said, things we consider great sins do not happen suddenly and are not out of character. Whatever it is that was done was the manifestation of what the person thought about and harboured in their heart. In other words, if a man cheats on his wife after 10 years of marriage, he was adulterous in his heart years before the actual physical act took place.

If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

Psalm 66:18

The things we keep in our heart effects our relationship with God first. It has been said so many times that if we put God first in our lives and maintain a good relationship with Him, the rest of our relationships will fall into place and thrive.

This post is about my thought life in my marriage but don't mistake that my wicked thoughts were a result of a sin problem that was preventing a good relationship with God. All the changes I was able to make were a result of a consistent relationship with God and His mercy in pointing things out to me. If you stay in the Word God will show you things when you're out and about. At the exact right time He will reveal something to you that changes your world and the way you do things. I hope this post conveys that.

Thinking covetously about clothes was the fist thing to go because it was making me miserable. I could easily see the effects my thoughts were having on me and I cut it out immediately. God hates covetousness, by the way, see my post on it here.

Ranting against my husband in my mind took a long time. The problem with ranting in your mind is that you begin to imagine things, you blow things out of proportion, you gain confidence where you shouldn't, your pride builds up, and you lose all logic. Even if you are right to be angry about something, ranting in your mind about it will lose you the argument- you've lost all reason.

Since I often fought with my husband in my head, I often fought with him at home. It was bad for a while but then a few things happened to help actually consider what I was doing:

I stopped listening to debates- they were making me aggressive and belligerent.

I stopped taking birth control pills- I need to pause at this one because it really made a big difference in our marriage. When my husband and I spoke of this before we were married he advised me to avoid birth control pills. For me it was the simplest thing so I went on them. Now, there was a sin problem that needed to be taken care of and I can't blame the birth control. I will point out that as soon as I stopped taking them- about six months into my marriage- we fought less. It's a known fact that birth control plays with your hormones and I recall being bloated all the time and generally very uncomfortable.

After those things I read this verse:

An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips

there is a burning fire.

Proverbs 16:27

I knew that was me as soon as I read it. If anything I want to be godly so right then and there I repented of digging up evil and put away the burning fire in my lips. 

I had a lot of damage to repair. I had been argumentative and volatile for months and it was how my husband expected me to react. I stopped letting small things get to me, I picked my battles wisely and instead of letting things fester, I'd calmly talk to my husband about it right away.

We stopped arguing but the healing process took a long time. I had a lot of hard of hard ground to break up and deep rooted weeds to pull out because of the bad seeds I had sown.

At a ladies retreat just over two years ago our speaker said this: ranting in your mind gives place to the devil.

The devil is trying to destroy your testimony and one of the ways he can do it is by destroying your marriage. Don't give him place.

The other thing about this is when you are right, react the right way. Being right about something or being the one who was wronged does not justify the way you react. Our example is Christ:

For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ

also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye

should follow his steps:

Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his

mouth:

Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when

he suffered he threatened not; but committed himself

to him that judgeth righteously:

1 Peter 2:21-23

Let God handle it. He'll give you more justice than you can give yourself.

The other way my thoughts were effecting my marriage was how I thought about myself. I was vain in a lot of ways when I had no reason to be. 

One big thing was that I had to be the most beautiful woman and no one else could even be pretty.

We'd be watching TV, I'd feel threatened by someone else's beauty and I'd casually ask, 'do you think she's pretty?'. Well, there was no right answer to that question because if he said 'no' I wouldn't believe him and if he said 'yes' I'd just get mad at him. These situations resulted in a lot of those fights where you have no idea what you're fighting about, how it even started, but you will win at whatever cost.

I was walking home from work one day and it FINALLY occurred to me that I am not the prettiest, I'll never be, and I should accept it and be happy for people who are.

I repented of my vanity right away. What I did not expect was that I began to be a much happier and more grateful person.

This is really interesting because if you are thankful for what you are, what you have, and how God has blessed you- even when you are mediocre looking, you have little, and God has blessed you with hundreds of dollars rather than millions- you can be really happy and impervious to covetousness, pride, and the need to justify yourself.

A preacher said it like this, 'Don't be envious of people because you have no idea what it cost them to get what they have. Take David for example. God used him for great things but David's sin is written in the bible and will be left there for eternity. Are you willing to have your sin written in God's perfect Word for all to read for eternity?'

No. Not me.

As I learned these things I began to produce the following:

-I started just being happy for other people when they were better than me. This just sets you free. You don't feel anymore pressure to dress the best, look the best, be the smartest, or whatever is important to you. You get to just be and do what you can. It's so freeing.

-I stopped comparing myself to others because there is no comparison between people. God deals with us all differently, we all deal with different things, and simply saying, 'I would do it this way' just comes from what you know and what you've experienced- the other person has different knowledge and experience.

-I began to have more mercy on people. I made cream scones for sunday school one day and a child bit into one, spat it out, loudly complained that it was horrible, and threw the rest of it in the garbage. Before that would've offended me. Now I just look at that and feel sorry that that child doesn't have the manners not to react like that. It's the same way I look at scantily dressed teens in my neighbourhood, people who fall for false religions, and others who are on wayward paths. I feel sorry that they just don't know better and thankful that by God's grace (and ONLY by His grace) I do know better.

The last thing I needed to be rid of- at least get a handle on- was thinking too much about what my husband needed to change. It's so easy to listen to a sermon and think 'I hope he's listening. This is something he needs to hear' or read scripture and apply it to my husband (or anyone else for that matter).
The fact is, you can't change anyone. As Dr. Peacock says, 'if the Holy Spirit can't change them, what makes you think you can?'
My husband once told me that I am the best testimony to him when I quietly go about my business and serve the Lord. I have no idea when I was ever like that and I've seriously tried to attain to it since he told me that.
Something to remember is that unsolicited advice is never heeded. People- including your husband- are not going to listen to you in an area they do not want to be told what to do in.
As many preachers have pointed out: you won't be answering for them at the judgement seat. You'll be answering for yourself. Focus on your own shortcomings.
Now, this doesn't mean I don't tell my husband when I think he's doing something wrong. One time he decided to do something and I was very bothered by it. It did not effect me in any way but I felt very strongly that his conduct was wrong. That night I spoke to him very calmly and logically about it. He told me that I was right and he apologized.
There are things in both my husband and myself that need to change. There are many things we both fall short on. My reaction to my husband's shortcomings cannot be to correct them. My reaction has to be prayer.
God has worked a lot on me through the things I thought my husband needed to change. I don't know what's best. I don't know my husband's heart the way God does. I don't know anything I need to know about my husband. God does know and all I can do, as a good wife, is encourage my husband to do right and pray for him.
Once I stopped looking for ways my husband could improve I started appreciating him a whole lot more. I noticed good things about him I never did before. I started being more of an encouragement to him too because I was generally more positive toward him.

I hope I conveyed what a difference your thoughts make in your marriage. I can't say that I've completely stopped some of the things I've written about above. It's hard work but you've got to be picky about what you let in your mind.
This will be one of the joys of being in heaven: you won't have to worry about what you think anymore. It will just be right. You will open your mouth to say something and what you say will be right. You won't have to wonder what to do next and whether you're making the right decision or not. You'll know what's right and you'll do what's right.
On this side of heaven, however, all we can do is stay close to God by (trying) to keep our minds clean.

For I know the things that come into your mind, every one of them.

Ezekiel 11:5d