Weed Your Garden

A few years ago I was tuned in to a live sermon on Sermon Audio and the preacher was talking about marriage. He was talking about dealing with issues that inevitably come up in marriage. He said we need to 'continually weed our garden' so that minor issues don't become bigger issues later on.
I always remember that phrase 'continually weed our garden' whenever something comes up in my marriage that I could either ignore or deal with.
I always deal with things that bug me now-whether internally or externally- it helps me keep a clear conscience toward my husband and limits our arguments.
If something is bothering me I have to examine myself to see if it's a problem on my end: did I misinterpret what he said, am I being oversensitive, is there a greater issue here, and things like that. If it passes the internal test then I'll calmly and rationally discuss it with him.
One day, after lots of petty arguments, my husband said to me, 'is there something else bothering you? You can't be getting mad at me for all these petty reasons'.
That was before I heard the garden analogy, no doubt it set me up to hear it with a deeper understanding, but it really got me thinking about what I was getting mad about. Was I mad about a big thing that was making me pick a bunch of small fights with him or am I just a contentious woman? More times than not it's a big thing that has festered in my mind for too long.

As I go through life I find myself weeding many gardens in many of my relationships. The fact is, people fail us, hurt us, irritate us, and so on. This tends to happen with the people we're around all the time- our spouse, family, extended family, close friends, even fellow church members.
It has often been said that the people closest to us hurt us the most but it has also been said that we are our own worst enemy. Most of the time there is something in us that is either offended for no reason or blowing something out of proportion. Before we ever point the finger elsewhere, we need to look inside.
Situations inevitably arise and we have to deal with them but there are a few things I always try to keep in mind when interacting with others whether they be unsaved or saved. The list following contains small things that turn into great hatred if they are allowed to continue unchecked. They are things we would be ashamed to admit, never really think about in our minds, but run rampant in our subconscious. If we keep the following under control and eliminate them from our lives, we'll get along better with everyone in our lives, and when someone does do something harmful to us, we'll be in the right and able to handle it with grace.

1- Are you envious at another person's freedom?
Do you go out of your way to wear dresses and skirts to church but someone else, who is not a new Christian, comes in wearing tight pants every service?
Does that bother you? Why should it bother you? If it bothers you then deeply consider your motives.
It really should not matter what someone else is wearing. I'm not saying tight clothing is appropriate church attire but evidently God is working on a matter of the heart with them and clothes aren't important at the moment. Whatever the case may be, it should not matter. Maybe it is bothering you because you don't have the freedom to dress that way.
I find this is a big one in churches. It may look like someone is looking down on you but really they regret not having the freedom you have. It may be what you are able to eat, who you are friends with, the fact that you feel strongly convicted about homeschooling and other parents freely drop their children off at public school.
I realize this may sound silly and petty but in a few cases in my life I've had to examine why I felt dislike toward someone and it was something as silly as what they could do and I could not.

Let not him that eateth despise him that

eateth not; and let not him which eateth

not judge him that eateth: for God hath

received him.

Who art thou that judgest another man's

servant? to his own master he standeth or

falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God

is able to make him stand.

Romans 14:3&4

2- Are you envious at another person's possessions?
I think this happens to all of us- we see a thriving Christian or a wealthy unsaved family and wonder what they did to be blessed that way. The thing to remember is this: would you be willing to go through what that person went through to have the things they have today?
The religious leadership was envious at Jesus and look what they did to Him (see Matthew 27:18 and Mark 15:10). Envy is dangerous. Avoid it.

Let your conversation be without

covetousness; and be content with such

things as ye have: for he hath said, I will

never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Hebrews 13:5

3- Are you promoting yourself?
When you see people talking together, do you think they are talking about you? When the preacher is giving an example during his preaching, do you think he's talking about you?  If you automatically think of yourself in situations like these it is a good indication that you are walking in your flesh, not the Spirit. Maybe someone says something like, 'I have a nice crockpot' and it may run through your mind, 'so mine isn't nice?' If that is the case, you are in your flesh. Perhaps someone did not smile at you when you smiled at them or they did not say hi to you when they came in.
All these situations revolve around you. If you find yourself getting offended in one of the ways listed above, you're putting yourself first.

Great peace have they which love thy

law: and nothing shall offend them.

Psalm 119:165

4- Do you worry that others are better than you?
Do they live in a better neighborhood, are they more athletic, do their children get along better than yours, are they more involved, do they know more hymns by heart, do they have a better job, and so on. When you start sizing people up, your heart is not in the right place.

Be kindly affectioned one to another

with brotherly love; in honour preferring

one another;

Romans 12:10

Let nothing be done through strife or

vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each

esteem other better than themselves.

Philippians 2:3

5- Does it bother you when no one compliments you?
Maybe you sang a solo, made three dishes for the potluck, or was a major part of the success of an event and not one person told you what a good job you did.
If it bothers you, you are most certainly in your flesh.

It is not good to eat much honey: so for

men to search their own glory is not glory.

Proverbs 25:27

Reading this list over makes me very amused because they're all such little things that make a difference.

There is obviously one thread that binds all five points together: pride.
All these things can be avoided if you have the scriptural view of yourself.

When pride cometh, then cometh shame:

but with the lowly is wisdom.

Proverbs 11:2

Trying to be better than others, thinking you are better than others will lead to shame. 

Only by pride cometh contention: but

with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 13:10

The only reason there is ever contention is pride. Next time you're in an argument, shut down your pride and see what happens.

Pride goeth before destruction, and an

haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:18

Your pride is not your friend. The scripture is very clear: it will destroy you.

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he

saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth

grace unto the humble.

James 4:6

Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves

unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject

one to another, and be clothed with

humility: for God resisteth the proud, and

giveth grace to the humble.

Humble yourselves therefore under the

mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you

in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he

careth for you.

1 Peter 5:5-7

You don't need to dress in rags and have a long face to be humble. All you need to do is recognize who you are, what you deserve, and where you could've gone but for God's grace.

For ye see your calling, brethren, how

that not many wise men after the flesh, not

many mighty, not many noble, are called:

But God hath chosen the foolish things 

of the world to confound the wise; and God 

hath chosen the weak things of the world

to confound the things which are mighty;

and base things of the world, and things

which are despised, hath God chosen, yea,

and things which are not, to bring to

nought things that are:

that no flesh should glory in his presence.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29

That passage should easily put us all in our place.

Finally, how many times have you been in a bad mood and said something you did not mean? How many times did you put your foot in your mouth because you were caught up in the moment and not thinking? How many times have you misjudged a situation, acted impetuously, hastily, irrationally or inconsiderately without meaning to?

I do it all the time and I hope that the people around me most often will give me the benefit of the doubt that I don't mean any harm. The least I can do is afford that same kindness to others.

My pastor once said, 'the cause of Christ is greater'. How does it look to the world if we're squabbling and hating each other for no reason other than our pride? The world is full of hatred. The church should be one place where real love is. Christ loved us enough to die for us, the least we could do is die to ourselves for the sake of each other. 

Pull out pride by the roots and all will be well.

Favourite Fall Pies

Yesterday was the first day of fall, which happens to be my favourite season, and I intended to post my three favourite fall pie recipes.
Well, I did not have time so I'm posting them this morning.
I never really cared for pies growing up because my mom never made them. She made cakes and Philippino desserts.
My husband LOVES pies. Love is actually an understatement but it will do. So here is the first pie I ever made in my life:

First pie I ever made- March 17, 2012

This pie is Michael Smith's Old Fashioned Apple pie.
It is absolutely perfect and simple. The crust is buttery and flakey and the filling is delightful especially with tart Granny Smith or Honey Crisp apples.
Fresh and from scratch is always the way to go.
Find the recipe right here: Michael Smith- Old Fashioned Apple Pie

The second pie I ever made is a pumpkin pie. I do not have a picture of any of the ones that I've made.
This recipe is from a man called Chef John and his website foodwishes.com is one I frequent. He has lots of great and easy recipes on there.
My favourite thing about this pie in particular is how easy it is made. While he calls for canned pumkin puree I roast a pumpkin and puree it myself. If you skip that step, however, the crust is made in a food processor and the filling is mixed together in a few minutes.
Give it a try this thanksgiving: Chef John- Best Pumpkin Pie Ever

The third pie I love is my established favourite- Joy the Baker's Dad's Sweet Potato Pie.
In Canada we call it a 'yam'.
I love yams- we always had them at turkey dinners growing up and so now they are a necessity for me when I made roast chicken dinners and turkey dinners.
This pie, though it contains a lot of sugar, has the best spices and the yams give it a certain something that elevate it from a pumpkin pie.
This one does take a few more steps then the two above but it is well worth the effort.
Here it is: Joy the Baker- Dad's Sweet Potato Pie

If you're apprehensive about making crusts, the one linked to in Chef John's pumpkin pie recipe is the easiest one I've seen and made.
One good thing to note is not to over work your pie dough. Once you have incorporated all the flour, let it be- it keeps make your crust flakey.

I hope this was a blessing to you and that your Fall brings cooler weather.

How I Decide What to Post

When I first started this blog I thought it would be a stay-at-home-mom blog where I'd post mom/wife/home type things with smatterings of my interests like the bible, knitting, gardening, and things like that.
Obviously I post about those things occasionally but it clearly isn't the point of this blog.

The purpose of this blog is to glorify God in any way He wants to be glorified. If He wants a family blog, He'll get a family blog. However, He doesn't seem to. He seems to want me to write about biblical issues I am presented with whether in my devotions, church, or daily observations.
Whether I have one reader, a hundred readers or no readers, the point of this blog is to be a blessing to anyone that comes across it and to strengthen my faith and walk with God.
If I am the only one who benefits from this blog, then so be it.
I've always enjoyed writing. If I had pursued it the way I should have I would certainly be better at it. Other than linking to this blog on my pinterest, instagram, and twitter accounts, I don't really promote it. I want this to be a work of God, not a work of grace (me).

That being said, how do I decide what to write about?
It starts, as everything should, with prayer.
I pray about this blog, I ask what to write about, I pray while I write, I make sure that it is a work of faith.
I don't know if anyone is reading this blog on a regular basis, if anyone is, I have no idea what they need. God knows who this blog reaches and what they need. If I want this blog to be a blessing to anyone, including myself, I can't rely on my knowledge. I have to rely on His.
I will say that I do fail at this sometimes. I have deleted published posts that were not written with the right heart.

Secondly I write about whatever keeps coming up. It can be something I keep observing, something that really effects me, or something God lays on my heart.
I am very passionate about the bible. I am very passionate about true doctrine. I'm not willing to just make a statement about the bible without proving it from the bible. I want to be as biblically sound as possible. For that reason my posts are longer and take more time to write. It isn't a bad thing but I do realize that I should write more posts that are shorter and simpler, like this one.

Lastly I try to post about things that are a blessing to me. This blog is, in a way, about being a stay-at-home-mom who is trying to serve the Lord with her life. I don't have a clue about what it takes to be a man but I do know a little bit about being a wife and mother. I hope my experiences and things that make a blessed difference in my life can help others in similar situations. There are things that people have given and shown me that are daily a blessing. I hope I can give that to others.

Things I try to stay away from:
Using this blog to complain. It just gives way to my flesh and does not help anybody.

Stirring up strife. While I know that the gospel is an offense and preaching is foolishness to the world, I do not believe in writing about things just to make people angry and offended. If God leads me to write a post that will offend people, I certainly will, but to go out of my way to deliberately anger people is not the purpose of this blog. For example: a person I know once said something contrary to the bible in front of my husband and myself. We then corrected him and it lead to a long discussion. After that, this person posted on facebook that my husband and I had attacked him. This person knew full well what our stance on the bible is and he deliberately said something we would not let him get away with. I do not want to be that person. People who live for God will be attacked in one way or another no matter what they do. I will not invite it for the sake of inviting it.

Being negative about people in my life. While I draw from personal experience I do not want to slander anyone. There are many times I've done or said something out of character simply because I was tired, grumpy, or just not thinking. I want to give people the benefit of the the doubt, be gracious, and understanding towards them. Just because I have a place to speak doesn't mean I should use it against people.

Being negative in general. Let's face it- there are a lot of negatives in life and we tend to focus on those more than the positives. If a negative post must be written then so be it but I want those posts to be the exception, not the rule.

Leading others astray. There are issues I'd like to write about but it would mean talking about things and people that may lead others astray. I will not give someone the tools to fall into false doctrine. For example: there is a blogger I read occasionally who says a lot of things about current issues I agree with. However, though he claims to be a Christian I have not found one page on his site promoting salvation or presenting his beliefs. On top of that he does not use the King James when he quotes 'scripture'. Because of all that and a few other things, I will not promote his blog on this blog. I would love to be a resource for good Godly materials. As it is, most blogs and websites out there have doctrinal problems that could harm a new Christian. I will not be responsible for that.

Writing things I would not people who know me to read. In a sermon I was listening to a little while ago the preacher asked if we would be okay if Jesus looked through our phones. I thought about it and was very happy to realize that I keep my phone clean. Anyone can look through my phone and I would not be ashamed. I want my blog to be like that. I want to present myself as myself. I don't want to paint one picture on here and another in my daily life. Anything I admit on here I should be able to admit at church, to my family, and to others. I don't want to be worried that someone I know will find this blog, and read something I'd rather they did not read. I want my conscience to be clear about what I write.

There you have it! The ways I govern this blog.
I hope this was in some way a blessing to you!

More than Teaching

One of the things I appreciate most about my pastor is his diligence to instruct and teach. He wants us to serve the Lord the best we can and he knows that there are things we need to learn on the way.
While there are lots of classes, teachers, events, and things going on, he is constantly reminding us of the purpose of it all- strengthening our relationships with each other and most importantly winning souls.
Almost every Sunday evening before the service we have a teacher's meeting. There he checks in on all the teachers, hears prayer requests, concerns, and teaches us about teaching.
Something he's been particularly drilling home is our need as teachers to fellowship with our students outside the class and thus showing our students that we're living the Word that we're teaching.
He has stressed, many times that being involved in church and fellowshipping with our students is as much part of teaching as the actual class time. If I tell them that telling others about Christ is our number one priority and never show up for Saturday morning outreach, they will never believe I'm living what I'm teaching.
Every third Saturday our outreach is a gym-night. On Sunday pastor announced it and said it was for 'elementary and high school'. Since he specified the age this time I asked him on Wednesday if I should still come since my son is only two and doesn't participate at all.
Pastor said I should absolutely come so that I can fellowship with my new students.

This short discussion really got me thinking.
On Sunday I was talking to my little cousin, she is fourteen, and in the midst of high school. High school is a treacherous place and if you're not grounded as a believer, you will be tossed from the Solid Rock and lose your way with bad friends in a multitude of temptations.
One thing she said to me is that my sister and I seem really happy. We're both married to christian men and have our babies. We were both married by 22 and we've had our sons by 25, she sees that and it makes her consider her path. This lead to a good discussion on how we were able to get there and it made me realize the gravity of my position.
I don't know what her home life is like, but what if it's not encouraging her to live right? What if the only Godly testimony she knows is my sister and I?
I look at that and I think about the young ones at church.
If there's anything I desire for my son, my nephew, and all the children in my sphere of influence is that they live their lives to serve the Lord. They will be successful if they are in the Lord's will.
Growing up is full of aches and pains, physically and mentally. At the tender age of 18, teens are expected to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. As teachers and elders in the church, we cannot tell them what to do with their lives, but we can show them what serving the Lord is.
This is one of the things that constrains me to dress right, speak right, and conduct myself wisely every day in every situation (although I fail constantly at acting wisely), you never know who is watching and  how they will take it.
If I do something reckless or rude while I'm driving and one of my students is driving with their family and sees, how will they view me when I'm teaching?
What if I wore something inappropriate while I was out and about and they saw me?
What if they over heard me using bad language or disrespecting my husband?
How could I then teach them? I can't.

As a mother, teacher, and elder (relatively) I want to be gracious, gentle, kind, wise, and of a good report.
The terrible tragedy of today is that young ladies are no longer required to be young ladies. Men and boys can get what they want elsewhere so why would they choose a pure, wholesome girl that wants to serve the Lord?
These girls will feel more and more pressure to bow to worldly standards just to get a husband.
I fully intend to show them that they don't have to. If they wait on the Lord, He will bless them.

My pastor has a sweet older daughter who loved to help me in my previous class- Junior Church/nursery. I loved having her in there with me but I did not want to take her out of too many services. When I expressed this at a teachers meeting my pastor's wife reminded me of this passage:

The aged women likewise, that they be in

behaviour as becometh holiness, not false

accusers, not given to much wine, teachers

of good things;

That they may teach the young women to

be sober, to love their husbands, to love

their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,

good, obedient to their own husbands, that

the word of God be not blasphemed.

Titus 2: 3-5

There is so much in there to dissect but the purpose is this: we are instructed to teach. Whether the aged woman is 26 and the young woman is 8, I am instructed to teach.

If the Lord wills and tarries I may know my pastor's daughter from 8 years old to 28. I may see her through high school, college, marriage, and children. If that is the case I hope she can look at the older women in church who have gone through those things before her to be comforted, strengthened and helped by our example. There are a few young ladies her age at church. I hope I can be that example for all of them.

One last example then I'm done: I was with an older woman and a younger woman one day. The younger woman was boasting about being disrespectful to someone that had helped her and the older woman laughed about it. There is more than a thirty years between them but the older woman found disrespect funny.

That bothered me for many reasons but the biggest one is that the older woman, by laughing, encouraged the younger woman to be disrespectful. I don't know the nature of the relationship between the young woman and the person she was disrespectful to, but regardless, the older woman should have the wisdom not to laugh at a young persons folly.

Sometimes my son does something bad but it's either cute or really funny.

I can't laugh at it. He's only two but laughing at it would encourage him in sin.

This is what teachers in the church must be:

We must be bulwarks against sin. We must be a testimony of holiness, obedience, and service.

As we fellowship with our students, we get to learn about them, we're able to teach them better, and we're able to draw from our own experiences to teach them. 

So at gym night on Saturday, as I play dodgeball with my students I must be an example of sportsmanship, losing with grace, winning with humility, and being inclusive to all that come. 

Lord willing, as my students grow, they will remember some of the lessons I taught them, but I hope they remember my testimony and when they're faced with tough decisions in the future they'll remember that Miss Grace read her bible, prayed every day, prayed for them every day, and that they Lord used those things to help her do right.

From Junior Church to Bible Class

Earlier this summer my pastor asked me about my role as a Junior Church teacher and it came out that I have a special place in my heart for pre teens (ages 8-12 roughly).
As our church has grown we've needed changes in our children's program and so my pastor has moved me from Junior Church to teaching a bible class to 8-12 year olds on Sunday mornings before the main service.
I am very VERY excited to take this on but, of course, I feel a deep pang of sadness as I leave my beloved class of 0-4 year olds.

I had never had my own class before this one. At my last church I shared a class and only taught on a substitutionary basis. I did do a fair amount of teaching, but the class was not my own. This class was ages 7-12.
It was not long after we made Park City our church (or rather God made it our church) that the Lord gave me a great desire to teach. I've always loved teaching and the Bible is my favourite subject so I made it known and was given a class.

In my new class I had four consistent students: my son age 2, the pastor's children- twins aged 4 and their youngest age 3. More often then not we'd have twin boys who just turned 2.
With such a diverse group of ages it was hard to keep things under complete control but we had a lot of fun. There were hard days and easy days. The biggest blessing to me was being able to let the Lord lead me in leading the class. The lessons were so short it would not take long to prepare them. The difference was whether I sought the Lord that week or not. God's hand was always more evident when I leaned on Him to teach.
Our classes were something like this: we would have a little snack, then we would sing- some of our favourites are: The Lord's Army, Jesus Loves Me, My God Is So Big, Inright Outright, and the Wise Man- I would then teach the lesson.
The lessons were short- like their attention spans- but the Lord gave me the tools to keep them focused. I would bring objects, do some role play, and I used a felt board to illustrate what was going on. It's easier for them to listen to the story when it is played out in front of them. We would always have fun crafts to reenforce the lesson.
In the time I was given with them we only covered the main events in Moses' life.
The last weeks leading up to my leaving them as their teacher were very sweet. I took time to go over each of the ten commandments, a few each Sunday with a different colouring page for each commandment. At the end each child had a 'Ten Commandments Book'.
I was unsure how to proceed from there, the lesson plan I was loosely following had the Ark of the Covenant next but I wasn't sure that was the best way to proceed. One morning during my devotions it came to me: teach about salvation. I had given them a bunch of rules that God commanded but what were they supposed to do with them? One thing they had learned was that everyone lies- how were they supposed to proceed from there? Salvation was the perfect ending to the four weeks we had taken learning the ten commandments.
I had the perfect craft to go with it- a 'stain glass' cross- and I got out all the felt pictures I needed- the empty tomb, Jesus alive, heaven's pearly gates and golden streets.
That last Sunday I had with them I gave them a clear presentation of the gospel and finished the lesson with:

For whosoever shall call upon the name

of the Lord shall be saved.

Romans 10:13

At that time I did not know it was our last Sunday together, but God did and He made it perfect. The children paid extra good attention that day and had a lot of fun with the craft.

From this short and sweet experience I've gained a special love for four year olds. Its such a sweet, short time- they can communicate but they cannot read or write, they have uninhibited affection, and they say the funniest, cutest things.
One of the things I desired most was to make sure each child knew I loved them no matter what. I think I accomplished that.
They're little sponges. They pick up everything and they can learn a lot if you take the time to teach them.
My students may not remember the time I taught them but I will never forget.
Here are some of the things my little students taught me:
-They will sit anyway but the proper way
-Everyone will pray for the food if you let them
-If you let someone get away with something the others will follow
-The older ones remember what you say and how you said it
-There is no such thing as too much glue
-When one wants a glass of water they all want a glass of water
-Make sure they're all 'zooming o'er the enemy' in the same direction
-They want to believe the very best of you- my pastor's daughter almost cried when she found out that I am guilty of lying
-Never let boys sit together
-The girls do not want to sit with the boys
-They enjoy structured activities more than free play
-Singing action songs help bring the focus on the teacher and engages everyone
-Singing helps calm fussy little ones
-Letting them speak and listening to what they say helps them know you care and are approachable
-Allowing them to give examples from their lives helps them grow
-Singing a song then teaching them what the song is about is just as fun as the lesson
-They are learning something whether you realize it or not

I may do a post on some of my favourite toddler friendly crafts.
I hope this was in some way a blessing to you.

Grateful

Gratitude is becoming an endangered species. It is one of the things consumerism has done to the world. We have and are not grateful because we can buy it of our own hand and get more if needed.
There are two big things I want. One of things thing money can buy, the other one can only be given.
The thing money can buy is a house. A nice house, not too big, with a good size yard- for a garden and for my son, in a nice area so I can go for runs every morning or evening. This desire has been on my mind lately because we almost had the opportunity to move but it was taken away from us.
Today in my bible reading I came across this story:

1 Samuel 8

Starting in verse 4- Then all the elders of Israel gathered

themselves together, and came to Samuel

unto Ramah,

And said unto him, Behold, thou art old,

and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now

make us a king to judge us like all the

nations.

But the thing displeased Samuel, when

they said, Give us a king to judge us. And

Samuel prayed unto the LORD.

And the LORD said unto Samuel, hearken

unto the voice of the people in all that they

 say unto thee: for they have not rejected

thee, but they have rejected me, that I

should not reign over them.

skipping to verse 9- Now therefore hearken unto

their voice: howbeit yet protest solemnly unto them,

and shew them the manner of the king that

shall reign over them.

And Samuel told all the words of the

LORD unto the people that asked of him a

king.

And he said, This will be the manner of

the king that shall reign over you: He will

take your sons, and appoint them for

himself, for his chariots, and to be his

horsemen; and some shall run before

his chariots.

ANd he will appoint him captains over

thousands, and captains over fifties; and

will set them to ear his ground, and to reap

his harvest, and to make his instruments of

war, and instruments of his chariots.

And he will take your daughters to be

confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be

bakers,

and he will take your fields, and your

vineyards, and your oliveyards, even

the best of them, and give them to his

servants.

And he will take the tenth of your seed,

and of your vineyards, and give to his

officers, and to his servants.

And he will take your menservants, and

your maidservants, and your goodliest

young men, and your asses, and put them 

to his work.

He will take the tenth of your sheep; and

ye shall be his servants.

And ye shall cry out in that day because

of your king which ye shall have chosen

you; and the LORD will not hear you in that

day.

This account struck me as I read it.

I wonder if this is like my husband and myself. We have a nice apartment- the ceilings are high, two bathrooms, a nice big kitchen, a big balcony that gets lots of sun, all for $1000 a month. The only thing is we live in a not so nice neighborhood and other tenants are really loud at night. Even so, we have a decent situation right now, by stretching our hands out to get a house by any (reasonable) means, are we rejecting God's will?

After everything Samuel tells the Israelites about the King that would be appointed, what do they say-

Nevertheless the people refused to obey

the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay;

but we will have a king over us;

That we also may be like all the nations;

and that our king may judge us, and go out

before us, and fight our battles.

And Samuel heard all the words of the

people, and he rehearsed them in the ears

of the LORD.

And the LORD said to Samuel, Hearken

unto their voice, and make them a king.

And Samuel said unto the men of Israel, Go

ye everyman unto his city.

1 Samuel 19-22

To the children of Israel, having a king was worth everything he'd take from them.

I wonder if that is like us sometimes. We want something so terribly we'd do anything to get it, no matter how much trouble it causes us.

I look at our life in our little apartment: I have many comforts others don't and I still want more. The troubles I have with apartment living would be magnified in a house but I still feel I'd gladly take the troubles and the house if we could manage it.
I'm not willing to speculate 'what if' the children of Israel had continued on under God's style of governance. I do know, that the trouble they ran into under Saul would not have happened.
So for now I must be patient and grateful.
Grateful for my big kitchen, two washrooms, and my sweet little balcony garden. Grateful I don't have an entire house to clean, I don't have to worry about my son falling down the stairs, and I don't have to worry about making sure three different doors and all the windows are closed when we go out. I am grateful we only pay rent, not repairs, maintenance, and pest control. I am grateful it's easy for my son to make friends in the playground because there are lots of children in the complex we see often.
I'm not a 'think positively' kind of person but thinking practically has helped me with this.

The other thing I want is another baby. I'd love a little girl but I'll take what I can get.
It's something I've sought the Lord over, wept uncontrollably about, fasted and prayed about, done a whole bunch of things that 'help' with these matters but I have not carried a baby to term.
I can think about it calmly now because through all my prayers and studies God has reassured me concerning this matter.
I was out with my son and husband the other day and as I watched them I realized something: how blessed we are to have each other. Right now I can focus on my precious son. Michael and I can love on him like nothing else. We can enjoy him thoroughly because our attention is not divided from him.
This is a time to be grateful for. This is a time of (relative) calmness that we can enjoy.
When, and if, the Lord grants us another baby, our lives will change even more and the steadiness we know now will vanish in a second.
When, and if, the Lord grants us another baby, it will be in His own time when He knows it is right.

There is no wisdom nor understanding

nor counsel against the Lord.

Proverbs 21:30

We have no idea of the troubles God is keeping us from by not giving us the things we think we want/need. By allowing Him to take the reins and be in control, you are saving yourself from a lot of unnecessary problems. It is not always easy to let these things go but but God is so good. While He guides us and teaches us He gives us the tools to grow, and patience to learn.  While I can easily write about things now, it was a process to get me to the place where I could face them with equanimity. God will help you if you surrender to His will. You will be blessed all the more for it.

All the way my saviour leads me,

What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy,

Who through life has been my Guide?

Heav'nly peace, divinest comfort,

Here by faith in Him to dwell!

For I know, whate'er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well;

For I know, whate'er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well.

All the Way My Saviour Leads Me- Frances Crosby