So happy to be writing again. The last few weeks have been very crazy with moving and trying to set up. It's my full intention to settle things down this week and get into a routine. My son really needs more structure and we all really need some home cooked meals.
Lord willing I'll be back to writing at least once a week.
~The other day one of the children in my care had very bad luck in a game we were playing. For some reason she just kept picking the exact wrong cards out of the 30 or so- majority being the right cards- available to her. It was actually really funny for everyone and she was laughing at the time but it meant her team lost. When her mom picked her up she was very down and her mom was with her for a long time talking to her.
At one point I walked by and told her that it was okay and not her fault. When her mom was done talking to her and she happily ran off, her mom told me that she was not trying to make her daughter feel better about losing. She explained that she was teaching her daughter that losing games, picking the wrong cards, and whatnot are apart of life and it's no use having a bad attitude about it. She told me she was teaching her daughter to lose with grace. A few minutes later her daughter came up and apologized for having a bad attitude.
It honestly had not at all occurred to me that the young one needed to adjust her attitude. My impulse was to make her feel better, her mother's reaction, was to teach to her to deal practically with disappointments. The mother's way is giving her daughter the tools to deal with these kinds of situations in the future- teaching her daughter to fish instead of giving her a fish. This was a valuable parenting lesson and I'm glad for it.
I've been wanting to tell the mother, but I really have no idea how I would, how thankful I am that she explained to me what she was teaching her daughter.
The fact is, I didn't know, I really didn't and she realized that. It was very kind of her to come and explain her parenting to me. It made me better.
While this may seem very trivial, I have to say that most of the time when I act and say things out of ignorance people just get annoyed, respond rudely, or give me an angry look. (I'm not talking about obnoxious ignorance- like eating with your mouth open- but subtle ignorance like the situation I just described.) For someone to be kind about it was a really nice change.
I think something we all, very much including myself, should always keep in mind is that most of the time people just don't know better. Maybe they weren't taught, maybe they're not mature enough yet, maybe they don't think that way, maybe it just never occurred to them but ultimately, they just don't know.
In my Bible class a Sunday ago I gave each child a pristine piece of paper. I told them that the paper pictured a relationship they had with someone. I described saying unkind things, doing unkind things as I folded the paper, crumpled it into a ball, then stomped on it.
When I opened the paper there were many creases in all directions. I asked the children if those creases would ever come out- if we stretched it, ironed it, sat on it- would it be like it was before I started 'being mean' to it.
The answer of course is no. (This was an object lesson on kindness I found on Pinterest)
I know I've put a lot of creases into some of my relationships just by treating people meanly for something they did not realize. I know people have hurt me pretty deeply by responding unkindly for something I really did not realize was wrong.
Being kind isn't simply smiling at strangers, letting someone go first, holding the door, bringing someone a treat, and so on. Being kind, is overlooking someone's faults and being gentle toward them.
Ephesians 4:32 has it:
And be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake
hath forgiven you.
No comments:
Post a Comment