Worship

The other day I posted a link to a sermon which I said exposed an error in my thinking. (You can find the post here)

As often happens, God had been working on me about it for quite some time before He gave me the answer.

Probably a month or more ago we were going through the biblical reasons for doing devotions in our Wednesday night service. My pastor would often ask, 'how is your relationship with the bible?' or 'have you spent time in the bible?'

My answers were always in the affirmative- I have a set time to get up and do devotions, I try to make bible reading my first priority, and I was studying the scripture in depth. I was 'almost flawless' in this area of my relationship with God- or so I thought.

I have to laugh at myself now because God uses those questions and our internal answers to show us our errors and fix our thinking. It reminds me of Peter Ruckman saying, 'people tell me I take that bible too seriously. I don't take that bible seriously enough'. No matter how much you're in the bible, no matter how strongly you believe it,  you will never have the Word in the exact right spot it needs to be in your life.

Well, Christmas started happening, we started looking for a place to move, we found a place and did move and, as always happens, I started slipping from my set time of bible reading. I still read the bible, but since I had missed my only opportunity for quiet time it was not as thorough and maybe even rushed- thrown in when I could.

Wherefore let him that thinketh he

standeth take heed lest he fall.

1 Corinthians 10:12

As I struggled to get up in the morning I began to wonder about devotions.

There's no question that they're a necessary part of a Christian's walk with God. We need the bible to cleanse us, feed us, and guide us; we need prayer to relieve us, communicate with God, and thank Him for all He's done. Before all that, though, why do we do devotions?
The first answer must be that it is commanded:

Study to shew thyself approved unto 

God, a workman that needeth not to be

ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15

All scripture is given by inspiration of

God, and is profitable for doctrine, for

reproof, for correction, for instruction in

righteousness:

That the man of God may be perfect,

throughly furnished unto all good works.

2 Timothy 3:16&17

Till I come, give attendance to reading,

to exhortation, to doctrine.

1 Timothy 4:13

Praying always with all prayer and

supplication in the Spirit, and watching

thereunto with all perseverance and

supplication for all saints;

Ephesians 6:18

As newborn babes, desire the sincere

milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

1 Peter 2:2

We study for reproof and correction- to change our ways to please Him, we study to perfect our doctrine- to teach others and be unified in the Spirit, we study to be perfect- the 'more you're get in the bible, the more it gets in you'. 

I know these things, I've long known these verses, I grew up singing

Don't read your bible, forget to pray and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink

BUT!

Read your bible, pray every day and you'll grow, grow, grow

and I believe all of it.

I began to wonder about the command and what is at the heart of the command.

The truth is, it should not matter what is at the heart of the command of an omniscient and holy God. The commandment is right, good, and needs to be obeyed. Even so, I began to wonder about it.

As I thought on these things I managed to get up one morning and do devotions. After I finished praying I was very happy and it occurred to me that maybe I was doing devotions so that I would 'feel good'.

I believe I had gotten to the point where I was doing devotions like I was giving change to a homeless person- something 'good' I did to keep me from 'feeling bad' I did not do it.
The other thing that began to happen was that I would do my devotions in the morning, and though I'd pray throughout the day, I would sort of leave off the Word and maybe listen to a sermon but I'd get focused on other things. Morning bible reading became something akin to drinking kombucha in the morning- the only time of the day it would happen because that's what I did in the morning.
I began to wonder what it was in me that was keeping me from being faithful and putting God absolutely first.

I listened to David Peacock's Clean Inside sermon and God used it to tell me what my problem was.
My problem is worship, or rather, who I was worshipping.
See, I was worshipping myself and, even though my devotions on the surface were about God, I was doing them in worship to myself.
The issue went deeper than 'checking it off my daily to do list', it was the fact that I was only seeking God's word for myself, not for Him.
The way I was doing devotions had become one of the fruits of a greater sin problem- placing myself on the throne of my life. As a servant of God, I have no business being on the throne of anything- especially not my own life.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the

mercies of God that ye present your bodies

a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God,

which is your reasonable service.

Romans 12:1

For the love of Christ constraineth us;

because we thus judge, that if one died for

all, then were all dead:

and that he died for all, that they which

live should not henceforth live unto

themselves, but unto him which died for

them, and rose again.

2 Corinthians 5:14&15

My life, and if you're saved your life, is not about you. It's about God.

I lost sight of that in everything I was doing.

To the sermon- Pastor Peacock pointed out the following and gave the following example:

The first time worship is mentioned in the bible it is connected to obedience. The greatest form of worship is obedience:

And it came to pass after these things,

that God did tempt Abraham, and said

unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold,

here I am.

And he said, Take now thy son, thine only

son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee

into the land of Moriah; and offer him

there for a burnt offering upon one of the

mountains which I will tell thee of.

ANd Abraham rose up early in the

morning and saddled his ass, and took two

of his young men with him, and Isaac his

son, and clave the wood for the burnt

offering, and rose up, and went unto the

place of which God had told him.

Then on the third day Abraham lifted up

his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

And Abraham said unto his young me,

Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the

lad will go yonder and worship, and come

again to you.

And Abraham took the wood of the burnt

offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and

he took the fire in his hand, and a knife;

and they went both of them together.

And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father,

and said, My father: and he said, Here am I,

my son. And he said, Behold the fire and

the wood: but where is the lamb for a

burnt offering?

And Abraham said, My son, God will

provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering:

so they went both of them together.

And they came to the place which God

had told him of; and Abraham built an

altar there, and laid the wood in order, and

bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the

altar upon the wood.

And Abraham stretched froth his hand;

and took the knife to slay his son.

And the angel of the LORD called unto

him out of heaven, and said, Abraham,

Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

And he said, Lay not think hand upon

the lad, neither do thou any thing unto

him: for now I know that thou fearest God,

seeing thou hast not withheld thy son,

thine only son from me.

Genesis 22:1-12

Pastor Peacock said that worshipping God is about obeying Him in the smallest of details and yielding your will to His- it's not about the command, it's whether you obey.
Worshipping God is living for His pleasure, not your pleasure and choosing Him before you choose yourself.

The way they worshipped God in the Old Testament is the way we worship now: sacrifice.

While they sacrificed the best of their livestock, we sacrifice our lives. They sacrificed to take away their sins, Christ sacrificed Himself once and for all for all who believe, and we sacrifice our will daily to keep ourselves out of sin. My pastor often says this- if we're busy doing the right things we won't have time to do the wrong things.

And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as

great delight in burnt offerings and

sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the

LORD? Behold, to obey is better than

sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of

rams.

1 Samuel 15:22

I won't go into this account of Saul's disobedience that lost him the kingdom (read it in 1 Samuel 15). Even though Saul had spared 'the best of the sheep and of the oxen, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God;' (verse 15) it did not account for anything with God because Saul did not obey God's commandment ('now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not...' verse 3).

God would have gotten glory if Saul had obeyed every word, God got no glory because Saul thought better of the command. Pastor Peacock said this, '1% hesitation is %100 rebellion'. That's a hard saying but it's true.

So the question is, do you love Him more than you love yourself, is He on the throne or are you on the throne?

We will never be able to properly worship God if He does not occupy the throne of our lives. We can't share the throne with God: it's either Him or you. Pastor Peacock pointed out: God desires from us the only thing He can't give Himself: worship.

Back to devotions- most, if not all, of God's commandments are for our good.. Devotions, while they glorify Him, they are necessary for a close walk with God, to cleanse us, and keep us from sin.

I'm not really drawn to what's good for me (I will drink mocha frappucinos and eat poutine all day every day if I had no control over myself) so I falter very easily.

When I falter I can now remind myself that it's not just that devotions are good for me, necessary for walking with God, and the right thing to do. Getting up early, reading what God wants me to read, praying- that is what God wants me to do and obeying Him is worshipping Him.

No longer are my devotions for myself, they are in worship. Sacrificing my flesh to obey Him.

Just Don't Know

Hello!
So happy to be writing again. The last few weeks have been very crazy with moving and trying to set up. It's my full intention to settle things down this week and get into a routine. My son really needs more structure and we all really need some home cooked meals.
Lord willing I'll be back to writing at least once a week.

~The other day one of the children in my care had very bad luck in a game we were playing. For some reason she just kept picking the exact wrong cards out of the 30 or so- majority being the right cards- available to her. It was actually really funny for everyone and she was laughing at the time but it meant her team lost. When her mom picked her up she was very down and her mom was with her for a long time talking to her.
At one point I walked by and told her that it was okay and not her fault. When her mom was done talking to her and she happily ran off, her mom told me that she was not trying to make her daughter feel better about losing. She explained that she was teaching her daughter that losing games, picking the wrong cards, and whatnot are apart of life and it's no use having a bad attitude about it. She told me she was teaching her daughter to lose with grace. A few minutes later her daughter came up and apologized for having a bad attitude.

It honestly had not at all occurred to me that the young one needed to adjust her attitude. My impulse was to make her feel better, her mother's reaction, was to teach to her to deal practically with disappointments. The mother's way is giving her daughter the tools to deal with these kinds of situations in the future- teaching her daughter to fish instead of giving her a fish. This was a valuable parenting lesson and I'm glad for it.

I've been wanting to tell the mother, but I really have no idea how I would, how thankful I am that she explained to me what she was teaching her daughter.
The fact is, I didn't know, I really didn't and she realized that. It was very kind of her to come and explain her parenting to me. It made me better.

While this may seem very trivial, I have to say that most of the time when I act and say things out of ignorance people just get annoyed, respond rudely, or give me an angry look. (I'm not talking about obnoxious ignorance- like eating with your mouth open- but subtle ignorance like the situation I just described.) For someone to be kind about it was a really nice change.

I think something we all, very much including myself, should always keep in mind is that most of the time people just don't know better. Maybe they weren't taught, maybe they're not mature enough yet, maybe they don't think that way, maybe it just never occurred to them but ultimately, they just don't know.

In my Bible class a Sunday ago I gave each child a pristine piece of paper. I told them that the paper pictured a relationship they had with someone. I described saying unkind things, doing unkind things as I folded the paper, crumpled it into a ball, then stomped on it.
When I opened the paper there were many creases in all directions. I asked the children if those creases would ever come out- if we stretched it, ironed it, sat on it- would it be like it was before I started 'being mean' to it.
The answer of course is no. (This was an object lesson on kindness I found on Pinterest)
I know I've put a lot of creases into some of my relationships just by treating people meanly for something they did not realize. I know people have hurt me pretty deeply by responding unkindly for something I really did not realize was wrong.
Being kind isn't simply smiling at strangers, letting someone go first, holding the door, bringing someone a treat, and so on. Being kind, is overlooking someone's faults and being gentle toward them.
Ephesians 4:32 has it:

And be ye kind one to another,

tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

even as God for Christ's sake

hath forgiven you.

Good Preaching

At the moment my husband and I are relaxing after a long week of moving.
It rained today so we weren't able to do as big of a move today as we were hoping to. We managed to get most things over to the new place and at our old place we just have big furniture, the TV, and some random things.
I'm looking forward to getting back to writing more often but that may not happen until I get my kitchen and my clothes organized.
Anyways, I'm thankful we moved out of an apartment building and into a house (with a yard!), and I'm thankful we have until the end of the month to clean out our old place.

Today I thought I'd share a sermon I listened to yesterday that made me realize a HUGE error in my thinking on certain things. I'll write more about that later but I thought I'd share the sermon because it's a good one. Honestly, all the preachers I've been listening to lately have been on fire. It's so good how God speaks to us.

I hope this helps you as much as it helped me:
Dr. David Peacock- Clean Inside

2015 Top Nine

I was reflecting on 2015 a few nights ago when it *finally* occurred to me that the year was ending.
What automatically comes to my mind is how tough this year was.
We came through some painful illnesses, our son spent a good part of the year in a bad mood, my husband had few days off until he finally quit nine months into the year, and we outgrew our apartment to the point of discomfort.

Despite the difficulties, God never abandoned us and, as always, He showed Himself strong for us in our weakness.
God is good no matter what.

So here, in no particular order, are my top nine from 2015 as listed above:

The best birthday present: a new church-
In October 2014 we left the church we had been attending for over three years in search of a church closer to home. It was a disheartening search but finally, the last week of January (a week before my birthday) God lead us to visit the last King James only baptist church in our area.

Seeing our son make friends-
B didn't really have friends before we started attending our new church and its been a very big blessing to see him learn from others, be part of a group, and have lots of fun.

New friends, old friends, all good friends-
It's lovely to have friends who watch your back and pray for you from a distance. I don't think we'll ever understand the difference the intercession of others makes in our lives.

I was there for my nephew's birth-
Being present for my sister's son's birth is a memory I'll always cherish.

The freedom, joy and peace gained from leaving social media-
The longer I've been away from social media, the more I've learned about myself, and the easier it is for me to get along with others. I'm grateful I left.

The joy, growth, and love I share with my husband-
Marriage gets sweeter with age, by God's grace we'll continue to grow closer to Him and to each other.

God gave  me  us grace and strength to face each day-
We needed a lot of grace and a lot of strength this year and He made sure we had more than enough.

God met our needs each day and showered us with His tender mercies-
We never needed anything and His hand was always evident in everything we did.

Being able to teach all the children at church-
I taught the youngest children for a portion of the year and then moved to the older ones. I have loved getting to know them all and work with them on the Christmas Play. They've taught me a lot about life, God, and myself.

2015 was a year for growth. I've come out of it having learned a lot about myself. I only hope I can use my knowledge of myself to bear godly fruit. All in all, I'm glad to keep moving forward, and by God's grace I will.

2016 is already exciting- we're currently moving into a four bedroom house on an 18 600 sqf lot.
I cut my long hair and now its so short I can barely twist it into a bun. Lord willing we'll go to Mexico in November for my father-in-law's 70th birthday. My husband is no longer a chef and has started his own business- that will certainly make things interesting.
I'd me over the moon- literally- if Jesus came back and caught us all up to heaven.
Until then I'll keep trying to serve Him and enjoy His blessings the best I know how.