Something Satanic

Are you able to be taught?

Are people able to tell you things?

Can you recieve instruction and act according to it?

Are you able to take correction?

Can you admit you were/are wrong?

Are you able to assess your motives for doing something honestly and fairly?

Are you able to learn in any circumstance from any one at any time?

You know what separates the children of God from the children of Satan?

The realization you are a sinner destined for Hell and that you cannot get to Heaven on your own. In my experience, the hardest thing for unsaved people to accept is that they are sinners: they cannot work their way to heaven, and nothing good they have ever done is worth anything in God's eyes.

But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our

righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade

as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken

us away.

Isaiah 64:6

A wise man said this- God can't save you if you're trying to save yourself.

Jesus is God (John 1) He was there from the beginning, even so:

Though he were a Son, yet learned he

obedience by the things which he suffered;

and being made perfect, he became the

author of eternal salvation unto all them

that obey him;

Hebrews 5:&9

He was perfect yet He still had some things to learn, and those things He learned made Him perfect and brought about our salvation. 

On the other hand:

How art thou fallen from heaven, O

Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou

cut down to the ground, which didst

weaken the nations!

For thou hast said in thine heart, I will

ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne

above the stars of God: I will sit also upon

the mount of the congregation, in the sides

of the north:

I will ascend above the heights of the

clouds; I will be like the most High.

Isaiah 14:12-14

Instead of humbling himself, Satan exalted himself.

Fast forward through our time, past the tribulation, armageddon, the millennium kingdom, and the judgment seat-

And the devil that deceived them was
cast into the lake of fire and brimstone,
where the beast and the false prophet are,
and shall be tormented day and night for
ever and ever.
Revelation 20:10

You can't misread that, the devil, Satan, will be tormented day and night for ever and ever.
This is the end of self exaltation and the inability to see wrong in yourself.

This account of Satan's judgment has been around for two thousand years give or take. Satan knows this. He knows, better than we do, what his end will be.

So the question is: why does he continue?

Thou art the anointed cherub that 

covereth; and I have set thee so: thou wast

upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast

walked up and down in the midst of the

stones of fire.

Thou was perfect in thy ways from the

day that thou was created, till iniquity was

found in thee.

--skip to verse 17--

Thine heart was lifted up because of thy

beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by

reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to

the ground, I will lay thee before kings, that

they may behold thee.

Ezekiel 28:14-15,17

He continues because he thinks he can rewrite the Book. Satan was upon the mountain of God, the anointed cherub that covereth- he knows God, he knows God's power, he knows his destiny in the lake of fire and still he rebels and resists God.

That is frightful wickedness. That is satanic.

So

A high opinion of yourself

One upping people

Always thinking you're right in every situation

An inflated sense of your abilities

Inability to grant others the right to their own opinions

Inability to listen, learn, or obey

Inability to see truth where it contradicts you

Irrepressible disappointment when no one acknowledges the work you did on something

Trying to be in control of every situation

Thinking your way is the best way
High mindedness 

Allowing your assumptions of people to dictate the way you treat them

Lack of personal/spiritual growth

The above list are just a few of the fruits borne by people who, like Satan, will not be told the truth- by themselves or others.

Saved people can be just as guilty of this as unsaved people.

As a saved person, these things will not land you in the lake of fire but they will prevent Spiritual growth by keeping you from walking with God.
Not only that but your testimony will be ruined.

One of the best proofs of humility is being able to learn from others, situations, and being able to 'parent' yourself.

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God

resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the

humble.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the

devil, and he will flee from you.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.

Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your

hearts, ye double minded.

Be afflicted and mourn and weep; let your

laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to

heaviness.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he

shall lift you up.

James 4:6-10

If you don't humble yourself, God will do it for you and that is the very last thing anyone wants.

I hope this helps in some way!

Control

I've tried to write this post a few different ways. It's hard for me not to let my personal feelings and flesh run with it. There's a lot I could say about others in this post but I'm attempting to focus on the things I've learned through my own experience in my own self.
I can't speak for others- no matter what impression they give- but more on that later.

Today I'm not talking about self control and things that you must control.
I control myself, my household, and my son (not really but you know what I mean). Controlling myself is a giant task, by household I mean the physical things like cooking, cleaning, making sure everyone has clean clothes, etc, and I am the primary caretaker of my son which eventually means I'll be supervising his education. These are things that I am given to control and I am not talking about those things today.

Today I am talking about things we are not given to control but try to any way.
I think there is that tendency in many people to try to subtly control everything around them. We generally- whether we want to admit it or not- think- consciously or sub consciously- we know best, the right way, how it should be, etc.

For example: we just moved and there are a few different ways to get to church.
When I drive to church I turn right off our street and head straight to the highway.
My husband turns left and drives down a residential street to a big street and then to the highway.
Of course I think my way is more efficient and less annoying but we've never timed the routes so we can't know for sure.
I know my husband well enough to know why he takes the route he does, but when we're running late I can't help but feel that rise of irritation at the (possibly) longer route to church. Its a very small thing and I just squash the annoyance when it comes up but it is a constant reminder of how strongly I think my ways are superior and how much I like to be in control.

That is the kind of thing I am talking about in this post: those little things that come out occasionally that can only be explained by the fact that we need to control everything around us. The above example has never brought about an argument between us- because I just let it go- but there have been plenty of similarly small things that I've commented on in the wrong tone with the wrong spirit and ka-boom.

One time I was called on to testify about God's tender mercies in front of my church (not my current church)- tender mercies being the little blessings and mercy drops God daily bestows. I had a week to prepare and different examples came to mind- one in particular was about sometimes missing the sky train on my way home from church. I'd have to wait ten minutes sometimes for the next train but when it came it was usually almost empty (SUCH a blessing on an almost 45 min train ride with an active toddler). I don't remember my exact reasoning for not using that one, I think I thought it was bridging on obsequious, but I didn't use it and once my testimony was done I knew I was wrong not to. People came up and thanked me for the testimony but that didn't ease my guilt. I ultimately knew that trying to control the message of the testimony prevented me from really glorifying God and really giving a true testimony.
I believe this is happening more and more in churches where preachers are trying to be 'politically correct' and going out of their way to avoid offending people. Paul said this to the church at Ephesus:

For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the

counsel of God.

Acts 20:27

The most powerless preaching I've heard happens when the preacher tries to tailor the message to the congregation. Seriously, just preach the what God gave you, how He gave it to you.

Sunday was Valentine's Day and my preacher did not have a message about love- and praise God for that. As another preacher said, 'Praise God for preachers who go to their knees and not a calendar to find out what to preach'.

Back to my controlling ways and speaking of preaching: I used to listen to preaching rather critically. I would create lists in my mind of BETTER verses the preacher could have used, a better route he could've taken in the message, and things like that. (I never vocalized it) I can't tell you how it happened but one day I just stopped.
I think it had to do with me really learning what real submission is. God gave that sermon, to that preacher, to preach that way, knowing I would be in the congregation listening that Sunday.
I'm only responsible for what I learn from that sermon. If God gave that sermon to that preacher and the preacher did not preach what God really wanted him to preach it's none of my business and God will deal with him.
At the heart of the matter was that I thought all preaching should be powerful, hard, and sharp- the kind of preaching that is so convicting it makes you want to throw up. I've since learned that there is a time for that, there are people who need that, and there are people who that will strengthen and edify all the time. Some people can only take that once in a while.
Deep inside, I wanted to control what was being preached to me because I thought I knew best. Now I sit down for preaching completely focused on myself and what I need from it. My mind is peaceful and I learn so much more. 

My husband doesn't try to control me- he governs our home, sets the boundaries, leads us but he does not tell me what to do. On the other hand, I am always tempted to tell him how he should do things, when he should do things, and so on.  I realized early on that if we were ever going to be happy I had to just let him be- he knows what he has to do, how to do it, and when to do it- he's a big boy, he's fine.
He is currently starting his own business and he talks to me about almost every aspect of it. I just listen to him and only give my opinion when he asks for it. Now, I have a lot to say about things and I could tell him exactly how to do everything he talks to me about but I don't because I'm not the one starting the business, I'm not the one doing the work, and I'm not in charge of finances.

It's like Mary and Joseph when the angel told them to flee to Egypt:

And when they [the wise men] were departed, behold, the angel

of the Lord appeareth to Joseph in a dream, saying,

arise, and take the young child and his mother, and

flee into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring the

word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him.

When he arose, he took the young child and his 

mother by night, and departed into Egypt:

Matthew 2:13&14

If it was my husband and I, I'd be thinking 'do we really have to leave TONIGHT? I'm sure the angel didn't mean for us to leave right away. Can't we go tomorrow? and so on and so forth and what have you...'

Again if it was M in Jospeh's place I'd have to remember that the angel appeared to HIM and not me for a reason and I have no say in the decision about when to leave. God chose him.

This thought process keeps our marriage peaceful and it allows me to be happy in my marriage.

Lastly, other people.
I think we drive ourselves mad trying to give the right impression of ourselves and beat ourselves up when we fail. We want others to see us for what we are and what we do.
I worked for a company that was very big on being bright and bubbly. I am not bright or bubbly. In high school my basketball coach told me I have 'this poker face' (his words) that makes everyone think I'm angry. I also think, based on all the times I got written up for not having the right face on (not kidding), that something about my natural expression gives the impression that I'm not approachable and affable. Working for that company showed me that, despite what I know inside me about myself, what is inside will never fully show on the outside. (I'm talking about character and personality here. Hidden sin in the heart will always manifest on the outside if not dealt with)
Recently a man left a message on my husbands phone. We listened to it and thought he sounded angry and rude. A few weeks later- when moving calmed down- we listened to it again (the same message!) and he sounded pleasant and friendly. What people see of you is coloured by what they are themselves, their mood, and how they feel about you. No matter what you do, people will never think of you the way you want to be thought of.

A long time ago I was watching an interview with a former basketball player who won the NBA Championship. The interviewer asked why this man does not wear his ring.
The basketball player said, "I don't need to wear it. I know what I did."
That's become my attitude about who I really am and what I really do.
I know what I am, I know what I do, and more importantly, God knows.
God shows me where to change and and gives me grace to grow.
I am not saying, just be who you are and don't consider others. That is not what God wants- read Romans 14 for more.
Be kind, watch what you say, dress appropriately, take care of the things God gives you- but don't go out of your way just to prove you're smart/ talented/ quick witted etc.
When I was in grade five I wrote a paper and I mentioned I had a second cousin who rowed in the olympics. My teacher crossed that whole paragraph out. There was no point in me adding it to my paper except to show that I had a talented cousin. Similarly I've said a lot of things and done many things just to show who I think I am and what I think I can do. There's no point. It's just the pride of life.

The other thing is, if I know people will give themselves their own impression of me, then I have to be gracious and allow that I will never have the right impression of them. I can't control their thoughts about me but I can control my thoughts on them.
My rule now is not to think about people, not to take things personally, and just let everything be.
I pray for people, I try to be helpful, I try to love be and kind to everyone but I will not spend any time dissecting someone's words or actions.
It can be hard sometimes but:

I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that 

ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,

With all lowliness and meekness, with

long suffering, forbearing one another in love;

Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the

bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:3

and:

And above all things have fervent charity among

yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of

sins.

1 Peter 4:8

Charity does many things (see 1 Corinthians 13) and its not something you just have. Charity comes from God. Charity is selfless and that's what it takes to give up yourself up and allow others to have their way and their mind.

A preacher once said, 'you are who you are when you won't get caught'. With that in mind, know who you really are, humble yourself, and keep your eyes and your pencil on your own paper.

This topic has been on my mind for a while and as I said earlier, it's taken a few tries to write. What I hope to convey is that you are so much freer and happier when you wholly give up what you can't control.

27

I turned 27 yesterday and looking back on 26 I know that the biggest area of personal growth for me was knowing myself better. I don't mean personal preferences, faults, strengths and things like that. I mean the deeper things that make me do what I do.

Before this last year a lot of my knowledge of myself was based on ideals and things I wanted myself to be. In the words of the dowager Lady Grantham I'd 'read too many novels'. I've learned a lot this past year just about myself, what I really am, my real motives, and what is at the heart of everything I do.

Something that's helped me learn about myself, is looking at myself as the source of all my problems. I know to the world that sounds horrendous but it's absolutely liberating.

For instance, I was hurt by some people not too long ago.

I was really struggling with it when God pointed out that it wouldn't be what it was if I wasn't carrying on. While their actions were indeed hurtful, my holding it against them was what was really hurting me.

As soon as He showed me my error, I got it right and moved on.

Another example is my husband not doing things I think he should be doing. I realized that there's a lot of things I should be doing that I'm not and looking at him wasn't improving my lot at all. A preacher once pointed out that maybe our spouses' get away with things we think they should be doing so that God can test us and reveal what's really in our hearts.
Turning my critical focus from other people to myself has made a world of difference in pursuing peace in my relationships- especially that of my marriage.

Another thing that's helped me learn about myself is leaving social media. I know I keep going back to it and I wrote a whole post about it here. I don't want to delve into a topic that I've dealt with before, but its really amazing what you'll learn about yourself, learn to do, and accomplish when you're not drawn to your phone/tablet/computer to see if someone posted something new or post something yourself.
The other temptation or tendency, even with blogging, is to spend your time thinking about what to post. There are better things to occupy our minds.
For me, social media is a weight that besets. It puts things into my mind that wouldn't be there otherwise. It gives me impressions of people I don't need to have. It makes me want to 'attain' what others have 'attained'.
Getting out of it was a good clean cut. All the clutter in my brain left when I left social media.

It comes down to being honest with yourself- seeing yourself for what you really are. It is allowing God to use those trying times to build character where you are lacking. It's also being able to pinpoint those things that keep us from moving forward and getting them out of our lives.

Having cut out a lot of unnecessary issues in my life, I've come to this place where I am able to pursue meaningful things fully and freely.

Fully as in I'm able to give good time to the pursuit, and freely as in without need for validation from people.

This blog is a good example of that. In almost a year of writing I still have no idea if anyone actually reads what I write. Whether people are reading or not it does not matter because this blog was God's idea, it's God's work, it's for God's glory, He gives me the time to write, He gives me the words to say, He gives me things to write about, and I am just an instrument.

I've heard a few things from my sister about some of my posts but if I never hear anything from anyone about it again, it really doesn't matter because it's not about me or anyone else. It's about my relationship with God.

My bible class is another example- It's God's class and I try to follow His directions as closely as I know how. I may never know what kind of impact I have on those children- hopefully its a good impact if any- and that's okay. I only need to worry about following God's leading in the class and letting Him work. If I've done that, I'm a success. 

Knitting is a non spiritual example- for me it's a blessed pursuit, given to me by God. It's something I keep to myself but pursue passionately.

I think, as I attempt to bring this to a conclusion, that learning of myself has enabled me to yield control, yielding control has liberated me, and my liberation has helped me find satisfaction in the things my hand findeth to do.

(1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which

are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of

meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be

tempted.

(2) Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law

of Christ.

(3) For if a man think himself to be something, when

he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

(4) But let every man prove his own work, and then

shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in

another.

(5) For every man shall bear his own burden.

Galatians 6:1-5

I just want to focus on verse 4 but I needed to establish the context of the passage- The work God gives each one of us is our own burden and proving the work gives us rejoicing.
My bible class, for example, is a good burden that is mine to bear. I love those children, I want the best for them, I want them to love God and His Word. Those are my burdens that I must bear and I must prove my own work in them. Teaching those children gives me joy- it's not that my pastor or the parents, or anyone appreciates that I teach them- it's that I'm doing God's will God's way.

The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own

ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from

himself.

Proverbs 14:14

This is an incredible verse that says so much. It's interesting how you can do everything your way and not be satisfied. A good man shall be satisfied from himself, not because he does everything his own way, but because he does it God's way.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD:

and he delighteth in his way.

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down:

for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

Psalm 37:23&24

Worship

The other day I posted a link to a sermon which I said exposed an error in my thinking. (You can find the post here)

As often happens, God had been working on me about it for quite some time before He gave me the answer.

Probably a month or more ago we were going through the biblical reasons for doing devotions in our Wednesday night service. My pastor would often ask, 'how is your relationship with the bible?' or 'have you spent time in the bible?'

My answers were always in the affirmative- I have a set time to get up and do devotions, I try to make bible reading my first priority, and I was studying the scripture in depth. I was 'almost flawless' in this area of my relationship with God- or so I thought.

I have to laugh at myself now because God uses those questions and our internal answers to show us our errors and fix our thinking. It reminds me of Peter Ruckman saying, 'people tell me I take that bible too seriously. I don't take that bible seriously enough'. No matter how much you're in the bible, no matter how strongly you believe it,  you will never have the Word in the exact right spot it needs to be in your life.

Well, Christmas started happening, we started looking for a place to move, we found a place and did move and, as always happens, I started slipping from my set time of bible reading. I still read the bible, but since I had missed my only opportunity for quiet time it was not as thorough and maybe even rushed- thrown in when I could.

Wherefore let him that thinketh he

standeth take heed lest he fall.

1 Corinthians 10:12

As I struggled to get up in the morning I began to wonder about devotions.

There's no question that they're a necessary part of a Christian's walk with God. We need the bible to cleanse us, feed us, and guide us; we need prayer to relieve us, communicate with God, and thank Him for all He's done. Before all that, though, why do we do devotions?
The first answer must be that it is commanded:

Study to shew thyself approved unto 

God, a workman that needeth not to be

ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15

All scripture is given by inspiration of

God, and is profitable for doctrine, for

reproof, for correction, for instruction in

righteousness:

That the man of God may be perfect,

throughly furnished unto all good works.

2 Timothy 3:16&17

Till I come, give attendance to reading,

to exhortation, to doctrine.

1 Timothy 4:13

Praying always with all prayer and

supplication in the Spirit, and watching

thereunto with all perseverance and

supplication for all saints;

Ephesians 6:18

As newborn babes, desire the sincere

milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

1 Peter 2:2

We study for reproof and correction- to change our ways to please Him, we study to perfect our doctrine- to teach others and be unified in the Spirit, we study to be perfect- the 'more you're get in the bible, the more it gets in you'. 

I know these things, I've long known these verses, I grew up singing

Don't read your bible, forget to pray and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink

BUT!

Read your bible, pray every day and you'll grow, grow, grow

and I believe all of it.

I began to wonder about the command and what is at the heart of the command.

The truth is, it should not matter what is at the heart of the command of an omniscient and holy God. The commandment is right, good, and needs to be obeyed. Even so, I began to wonder about it.

As I thought on these things I managed to get up one morning and do devotions. After I finished praying I was very happy and it occurred to me that maybe I was doing devotions so that I would 'feel good'.

I believe I had gotten to the point where I was doing devotions like I was giving change to a homeless person- something 'good' I did to keep me from 'feeling bad' I did not do it.
The other thing that began to happen was that I would do my devotions in the morning, and though I'd pray throughout the day, I would sort of leave off the Word and maybe listen to a sermon but I'd get focused on other things. Morning bible reading became something akin to drinking kombucha in the morning- the only time of the day it would happen because that's what I did in the morning.
I began to wonder what it was in me that was keeping me from being faithful and putting God absolutely first.

I listened to David Peacock's Clean Inside sermon and God used it to tell me what my problem was.
My problem is worship, or rather, who I was worshipping.
See, I was worshipping myself and, even though my devotions on the surface were about God, I was doing them in worship to myself.
The issue went deeper than 'checking it off my daily to do list', it was the fact that I was only seeking God's word for myself, not for Him.
The way I was doing devotions had become one of the fruits of a greater sin problem- placing myself on the throne of my life. As a servant of God, I have no business being on the throne of anything- especially not my own life.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the

mercies of God that ye present your bodies

a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God,

which is your reasonable service.

Romans 12:1

For the love of Christ constraineth us;

because we thus judge, that if one died for

all, then were all dead:

and that he died for all, that they which

live should not henceforth live unto

themselves, but unto him which died for

them, and rose again.

2 Corinthians 5:14&15

My life, and if you're saved your life, is not about you. It's about God.

I lost sight of that in everything I was doing.

To the sermon- Pastor Peacock pointed out the following and gave the following example:

The first time worship is mentioned in the bible it is connected to obedience. The greatest form of worship is obedience:

And it came to pass after these things,

that God did tempt Abraham, and said

unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold,

here I am.

And he said, Take now thy son, thine only

son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee

into the land of Moriah; and offer him

there for a burnt offering upon one of the

mountains which I will tell thee of.

ANd Abraham rose up early in the

morning and saddled his ass, and took two

of his young men with him, and Isaac his

son, and clave the wood for the burnt

offering, and rose up, and went unto the

place of which God had told him.

Then on the third day Abraham lifted up

his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

And Abraham said unto his young me,

Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the

lad will go yonder and worship, and come

again to you.

And Abraham took the wood of the burnt

offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and

he took the fire in his hand, and a knife;

and they went both of them together.

And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father,

and said, My father: and he said, Here am I,

my son. And he said, Behold the fire and

the wood: but where is the lamb for a

burnt offering?

And Abraham said, My son, God will

provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering:

so they went both of them together.

And they came to the place which God

had told him of; and Abraham built an

altar there, and laid the wood in order, and

bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the

altar upon the wood.

And Abraham stretched froth his hand;

and took the knife to slay his son.

And the angel of the LORD called unto

him out of heaven, and said, Abraham,

Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

And he said, Lay not think hand upon

the lad, neither do thou any thing unto

him: for now I know that thou fearest God,

seeing thou hast not withheld thy son,

thine only son from me.

Genesis 22:1-12

Pastor Peacock said that worshipping God is about obeying Him in the smallest of details and yielding your will to His- it's not about the command, it's whether you obey.
Worshipping God is living for His pleasure, not your pleasure and choosing Him before you choose yourself.

The way they worshipped God in the Old Testament is the way we worship now: sacrifice.

While they sacrificed the best of their livestock, we sacrifice our lives. They sacrificed to take away their sins, Christ sacrificed Himself once and for all for all who believe, and we sacrifice our will daily to keep ourselves out of sin. My pastor often says this- if we're busy doing the right things we won't have time to do the wrong things.

And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as

great delight in burnt offerings and

sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the

LORD? Behold, to obey is better than

sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of

rams.

1 Samuel 15:22

I won't go into this account of Saul's disobedience that lost him the kingdom (read it in 1 Samuel 15). Even though Saul had spared 'the best of the sheep and of the oxen, to sacrifice unto the LORD thy God;' (verse 15) it did not account for anything with God because Saul did not obey God's commandment ('now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not...' verse 3).

God would have gotten glory if Saul had obeyed every word, God got no glory because Saul thought better of the command. Pastor Peacock said this, '1% hesitation is %100 rebellion'. That's a hard saying but it's true.

So the question is, do you love Him more than you love yourself, is He on the throne or are you on the throne?

We will never be able to properly worship God if He does not occupy the throne of our lives. We can't share the throne with God: it's either Him or you. Pastor Peacock pointed out: God desires from us the only thing He can't give Himself: worship.

Back to devotions- most, if not all, of God's commandments are for our good.. Devotions, while they glorify Him, they are necessary for a close walk with God, to cleanse us, and keep us from sin.

I'm not really drawn to what's good for me (I will drink mocha frappucinos and eat poutine all day every day if I had no control over myself) so I falter very easily.

When I falter I can now remind myself that it's not just that devotions are good for me, necessary for walking with God, and the right thing to do. Getting up early, reading what God wants me to read, praying- that is what God wants me to do and obeying Him is worshipping Him.

No longer are my devotions for myself, they are in worship. Sacrificing my flesh to obey Him.

Just Don't Know

Hello!
So happy to be writing again. The last few weeks have been very crazy with moving and trying to set up. It's my full intention to settle things down this week and get into a routine. My son really needs more structure and we all really need some home cooked meals.
Lord willing I'll be back to writing at least once a week.

~The other day one of the children in my care had very bad luck in a game we were playing. For some reason she just kept picking the exact wrong cards out of the 30 or so- majority being the right cards- available to her. It was actually really funny for everyone and she was laughing at the time but it meant her team lost. When her mom picked her up she was very down and her mom was with her for a long time talking to her.
At one point I walked by and told her that it was okay and not her fault. When her mom was done talking to her and she happily ran off, her mom told me that she was not trying to make her daughter feel better about losing. She explained that she was teaching her daughter that losing games, picking the wrong cards, and whatnot are apart of life and it's no use having a bad attitude about it. She told me she was teaching her daughter to lose with grace. A few minutes later her daughter came up and apologized for having a bad attitude.

It honestly had not at all occurred to me that the young one needed to adjust her attitude. My impulse was to make her feel better, her mother's reaction, was to teach to her to deal practically with disappointments. The mother's way is giving her daughter the tools to deal with these kinds of situations in the future- teaching her daughter to fish instead of giving her a fish. This was a valuable parenting lesson and I'm glad for it.

I've been wanting to tell the mother, but I really have no idea how I would, how thankful I am that she explained to me what she was teaching her daughter.
The fact is, I didn't know, I really didn't and she realized that. It was very kind of her to come and explain her parenting to me. It made me better.

While this may seem very trivial, I have to say that most of the time when I act and say things out of ignorance people just get annoyed, respond rudely, or give me an angry look. (I'm not talking about obnoxious ignorance- like eating with your mouth open- but subtle ignorance like the situation I just described.) For someone to be kind about it was a really nice change.

I think something we all, very much including myself, should always keep in mind is that most of the time people just don't know better. Maybe they weren't taught, maybe they're not mature enough yet, maybe they don't think that way, maybe it just never occurred to them but ultimately, they just don't know.

In my Bible class a Sunday ago I gave each child a pristine piece of paper. I told them that the paper pictured a relationship they had with someone. I described saying unkind things, doing unkind things as I folded the paper, crumpled it into a ball, then stomped on it.
When I opened the paper there were many creases in all directions. I asked the children if those creases would ever come out- if we stretched it, ironed it, sat on it- would it be like it was before I started 'being mean' to it.
The answer of course is no. (This was an object lesson on kindness I found on Pinterest)
I know I've put a lot of creases into some of my relationships just by treating people meanly for something they did not realize. I know people have hurt me pretty deeply by responding unkindly for something I really did not realize was wrong.
Being kind isn't simply smiling at strangers, letting someone go first, holding the door, bringing someone a treat, and so on. Being kind, is overlooking someone's faults and being gentle toward them.
Ephesians 4:32 has it:

And be ye kind one to another,

tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

even as God for Christ's sake

hath forgiven you.

Good Preaching

At the moment my husband and I are relaxing after a long week of moving.
It rained today so we weren't able to do as big of a move today as we were hoping to. We managed to get most things over to the new place and at our old place we just have big furniture, the TV, and some random things.
I'm looking forward to getting back to writing more often but that may not happen until I get my kitchen and my clothes organized.
Anyways, I'm thankful we moved out of an apartment building and into a house (with a yard!), and I'm thankful we have until the end of the month to clean out our old place.

Today I thought I'd share a sermon I listened to yesterday that made me realize a HUGE error in my thinking on certain things. I'll write more about that later but I thought I'd share the sermon because it's a good one. Honestly, all the preachers I've been listening to lately have been on fire. It's so good how God speaks to us.

I hope this helps you as much as it helped me:
Dr. David Peacock- Clean Inside

2015 Top Nine

I was reflecting on 2015 a few nights ago when it *finally* occurred to me that the year was ending.
What automatically comes to my mind is how tough this year was.
We came through some painful illnesses, our son spent a good part of the year in a bad mood, my husband had few days off until he finally quit nine months into the year, and we outgrew our apartment to the point of discomfort.

Despite the difficulties, God never abandoned us and, as always, He showed Himself strong for us in our weakness.
God is good no matter what.

So here, in no particular order, are my top nine from 2015 as listed above:

The best birthday present: a new church-
In October 2014 we left the church we had been attending for over three years in search of a church closer to home. It was a disheartening search but finally, the last week of January (a week before my birthday) God lead us to visit the last King James only baptist church in our area.

Seeing our son make friends-
B didn't really have friends before we started attending our new church and its been a very big blessing to see him learn from others, be part of a group, and have lots of fun.

New friends, old friends, all good friends-
It's lovely to have friends who watch your back and pray for you from a distance. I don't think we'll ever understand the difference the intercession of others makes in our lives.

I was there for my nephew's birth-
Being present for my sister's son's birth is a memory I'll always cherish.

The freedom, joy and peace gained from leaving social media-
The longer I've been away from social media, the more I've learned about myself, and the easier it is for me to get along with others. I'm grateful I left.

The joy, growth, and love I share with my husband-
Marriage gets sweeter with age, by God's grace we'll continue to grow closer to Him and to each other.

God gave  me  us grace and strength to face each day-
We needed a lot of grace and a lot of strength this year and He made sure we had more than enough.

God met our needs each day and showered us with His tender mercies-
We never needed anything and His hand was always evident in everything we did.

Being able to teach all the children at church-
I taught the youngest children for a portion of the year and then moved to the older ones. I have loved getting to know them all and work with them on the Christmas Play. They've taught me a lot about life, God, and myself.

2015 was a year for growth. I've come out of it having learned a lot about myself. I only hope I can use my knowledge of myself to bear godly fruit. All in all, I'm glad to keep moving forward, and by God's grace I will.

2016 is already exciting- we're currently moving into a four bedroom house on an 18 600 sqf lot.
I cut my long hair and now its so short I can barely twist it into a bun. Lord willing we'll go to Mexico in November for my father-in-law's 70th birthday. My husband is no longer a chef and has started his own business- that will certainly make things interesting.
I'd me over the moon- literally- if Jesus came back and caught us all up to heaven.
Until then I'll keep trying to serve Him and enjoy His blessings the best I know how.