A Virtuous Woman- The Strange Woman Part One

Proverbs 2 begins the way chapter 1 began, encouraging you to listen.
Not simply listening though, applying your heart to it, crying after it, and searching for it.
God promises:

Yea if thou criest after knowledge and

liftest up thy voice for understanding;

if thou seekest her as silver, and

searchest for her as for hid treasures;

Then shalt thou understand the fear of

the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.

Proverbs 2:3-5

The most encouraging thing about that passage is that you do not have to be smart to get wisdom.

You can be as dumb as a rock but if you earnestly and relentlessly seek God's knowledge, God will give it to you.

That's a wonderful promise.

To keep on track I'll jump down to verse 10:

When wisdom entereth into thine heart,

and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;

Discretion shall preserve thee,

understanding shall keep thee:

Proverbs 2:10&11

Preserve and keep you from what?

To deliver thee from the strange woman,

from the stranger which flattereth

with her words;

Proverbs 2:16

And so we meet the first woman in this study (other than Wisdom): the strange woman.

Topic Study: Strange woman

Right away we can discern a few things from the passage:

-Wisdom, knowledge, discretion, and understanding keep us from this woman- she's bad.

-This woman entices with her words.

Let's continue in the passage:

Which forsaketh the guide of her youth,

and forgetteth the covenant of her God.

For her house inclineth unto death, and

her paths unto the dead.

None that go unto her return again,

neither take they hold of the paths of life.

Proverbs 2:17-19

Reading this reminds me of the last line in Proverbs 8:

All they that hate me love death.

This woman's house- where she makes her life- inclines unto death. Her life favours death. She is a deep pit- once you are in you cannot get out.

We all know what a woman is so let's look into the very first thing we know about her:
Word Study: Strange
This word is mentioned 76 times in 73 verses.
First mentioned: Genesis 35:2

Then Jacob said unto his household, and

to all that were with him, Put away the

strange gods that are among you, and be

clean, and change your garments:

This word is first used negatively regarding gods. We are told that people will be made clean by putting away these gods.

Clearly God is showing us that strange is not a good description. 

The third mention gives us a clear definition of the word: Genesis 42:7

And Joseph saw his brethren, and he 

knew them, but made himself strange unto

them, and spake roughly unto them; and

he said unto them, whence come ye? And

they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food.

Joseph, in making himself strange, made himself unrecognizable to his brethren.

I know this seems like a simplistic definition of a word we all know well but a good bible study is completely borne out of the bible. You define the bible with the bible.

Anyways, God shows us here that strange is something unfamiliar, unrecognizable.

I will not go into every mention of the word strange but a few things do need pointing out:

-Strange is used negatively every time (in keeping with the Law of First Mention).

-Ezra 10 gives an account of the Israel and the strange wives they took. In order for God to move for them they had to make a confession to God and separate themselves from those wives. 

Word study: Stranger

This word is mentioned 131 times in 125 verses

First mentioned: Genesis 15:13

And he said unto Abram, know of a

surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a

land that is not theirs, and shall serve

them; and they shall afflict them four

hundred years;

Right away we see: strangers are treated differently than non strangers, a stranger is in a place that does not belong to them.
A few key points about strangers:
-Israel was a stranger to the land they were promised- Genesis 17:8
-Abraham, Moses, and Ruth professed to be strangers- Genesis 23:4, Exodus 2:22, Ruth 2:10
-God protects strangers in Israel- Exodus 22:21, 23:9
-Strangers were required to keep the sabbath if they were in Israel- Exodus 23:12
-Strangers were not allowed to eat blood if they were in Israel- Leviticus 17:12
-Strangers were not allowed to eat of the 'holy thing'- Leviticus 22:10
-Strangers were required to keep the law- Numbers 15:16
-God called the Israelites to love the strangers- Deuteronomy 10:19
-Solomon asks God to hear the prayer of strangers if they pray from the temple- 2 Chronicles 6:32&33

I noted all that to say this: strangers aren't bad. They can be bad, it is not ideal to be a stranger, but generally it is not a bad thing.
Considering God's use of this word I think we can safely stick to this definition: someone you do not know.

Word study: Flattereth
For words like this I like to look into all forms to get the right definition. I'll start with the word in the verse:

This word is mentioned 6 times in 6 verses- One time in Psalms and five times in Proverbs.

It is first mentioned here:

The transgression of the wicked saith

within my heart, that there is no fear of

God before his eyes.

For he flattereth himself in his own eyes,

until his iniquity be found to be hateful.

Psalm 36:1&2

If you'd like to do an interesting word study, look up the wicked. You'll find it is actually referring to one person rather than a group of people.

Anyways, the first time 'flattereth' is mentioned, it is referring to 'the wicked'. Not just any wicked- THE wicked. 

There is no fear of God there so there is no knowledge and wisdom. Remember God's warning about rejecting wisdom in Proverbs 1?

The second time it is mentioned is the verse in Proverbs 2:16

The third time is in Proverbs 7:5 which is almost identical to the verse in Proverbs 2. It repeats the strange woman's talent for flattering with her words.

The fourth time warns about talebearers revealing secrets:

therefore meddle not with him that

flattereth with his lips

Proverbs 20:19

Another very self explanatory verse.

The fifth mention tells us that flattery will not make us more liked.

The sixth mention warns that:

A man that flattereth his neighbour

spreadeth a net for his feet.

Proverbs 29:5

From all six verses here is what we have on flattereth:

1. It is a tool of the wicked (Ps 36:1)
2. There is no fear of God when it is involved (Ps 36:1)
3. It is hateful (Ps 36:2)
4. Wisdom, knowledge, understanding, discretion will protect us from those who use it (Prov 2:16, 7:5)
5. We are warned against trusting those who flatter (Prov 20:19)
6. It is a trap (Prov 29:5)

Word study: Flatter
This word is mentioned 2 times in two verses:
First mentioned: Psalm 5:9

For there is no faithfulness in their

mouth; their inward part is very

wickedness; their throat is an open 

sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue

'Their' in the above verse is talking about the enemies of David.

Second mention: Psalm 78:36

Nevertheless they did flatter him with

their mouth, and they lied to him with

their tongues.

'They' are the children of Israel and 'him' is God.

For their heart was not right with him,

neither were they stedfast in his covenant.

Psalm 78:37

They needed God but they did not want to turn their hearts towards him and repent.

Bad heart= flattery+lies+usery

From these two verses we glean:

1. wicked and faithless people flatter (Psalm 5:9)
2. flattery comes from the same place as dead things (Psalm 5:9)
3. flattery comes from the condition of one's heart (Psalm 78:36)
4. flattery is associated with lying (Psalm 78:36)

Word study: Flattering

This word is mentioned 8 times in 8 verses.

The first and second mention are in the same passage: Job 32:21&22

Let me not, I pray you, accept any man's

person, neither let me give flattering titles

unto man.

For I know not to give flattering titles; in

so doing my maker would soon take me away.

This is Elihu talking having waited for everyone to speak before he weighed in. He says this to convince the others that he is not biased in his evaluation of Job's situation.

Third and fourth mentions: Psalm 12:2&3

They speak vanity everyone with his

neighbour: with flattering lips and with a

double heart do they speak.

The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips,

and the tongue that speaketh proud things.

The fifth mention speaks of the strange woman- we will look into this passage in depth later

Sixth mention: Proverbs 26:28

A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted

by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin

I don't feel it necessary to go into the seventh mention so here is number eight: 1 Thessalonians 2:3-5

For our exhortation was not of deceit, nor

of uncleanness, nor in guile:

but as were were allowed of God to be put

in trust with the gospel, even so we speak;

not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth

our hearts.

For neither at any time used we flattering

words, as ye know, nor a cloke of

covetousness; God is witness:

From the verses mentioned above here is what we have on flattering:

1. God does not tolerate flattering (Job 32:22, Psalm 12:3)
2. Flattering comes from a double heart (Read 1 Chronicles 12:33-38) (Psalm 12:2)
3. Flattering another person ruins them (Proverbs 26:28)
4. God does not use flattery to bring people to him (1 Thess 2:3-5)

Flatter and all it's related words are interesting because I find no clear cut definition in the bible.

We can all easily agree that it is bad but what is it?

It seems to be that it is using lies and deceit to get what you want.

It seems to be making someone else feel good for your own benefit.

Since delving into this word I've been forced to evaluate the things I say to others.

I'm not a gushy, super positive, hug everyone, love everything kind of person but I've seen myself flatter others in very subtle ways.

At church the other day a four year old girl was sitting on the floor crying because her brother had accidentally hit her in the head.

I know fake crying when I hear it so I told her she was still pretty despite getting hit in the head.

She stopped crying immediately.

My actions in that situation were wrong for a few reasons:

1. She wasn't really hurt, she just wanted attention
2. I did not teach her anything- children need to know what is worth crying over and what isn't, also what is worth getting attention over and what isn't
3. I had no good reason to tell her she was pretty- just puffing her up
4. I did not strengthen her in any way- I weakened her by increasing her vanity

This happened before I started this study but God has used it to make me evaluate what I say and why.

If you have any doubts ask yourself why you want to say something. If your motivation is anything other that charity, strengthening, and edification then you probably shouldn't say it.

I have more to say on this but I will leave it here. I'm sure it will come up again in this study.

I hope this was as edifying to you as it was to me.

Conclusion:
Are you a strange woman? Even blood bought Christian women can go down the strange woman path if they are not careful.
Already I've seen that I flatter. That is a big deal- it is the first thing that God tells us this woman employs.
This study is not about learning the differences between Christian women and worldly women. It is about showing the potentials holes all women can fall into.
Please don't read this and dismiss the evil women like you have nothing in common with them. We all do. That's why it is written there: to give us discretion and help us avoid these wicked paths.

This is just the tip of the strange woman ice burg.

So far we know that this woman is bad.

To avoid becoming her we must seek God. We must run to his Word, pray diligently, and stop doing the things God hates.

Stay tuned for part two!